Nicola Barker - Behindlings

‘The sneak did.’

‘Really?’ Hooch turned back to look at him a second time.

‘Bobby Mackenzie. Tennis champion. Always wears a raincoat. Notorious tit. Usually does the sports coverage for the local press. He’s obviously planning to expand his brief with this.’

‘Better him than that twat from the Express, ’ Hooch grimaced, ‘or the slut from the Mirror, for that matter. She was a real handful. The Nationals are a bloody nightmare.’

‘ Au contraire, ’ Shoes interjected, ‘the local ones are hungrier. They’re the fuckers to watch out for.’

‘Point is,’ Doc pulled up a stool and sat down on it –

Piles

– ‘we’re going to have to be a little bit more flexible when it comes to information garnering while the website’s down. This guy’s a treat. He’s a fool. He has no background in Wesley. He’s not bothered by the Loiter. He’s out for what he can get but he won’t be a problem.’

‘In your opinion,’ Hooch muttered.

‘I think we’re always best off keeping schtum with the media,’ Shoes cautioned. ‘It’s a slippery old slope, otherwise, and it makes things tricky for Wesley to have the local press snapping at his heels every second he’s in a place.’

‘ Fuck Wes,’ Hooch murmured, still scribbling.

‘Goes with the territory,’ Herbie added.

Snug on Shoes’ feet beneath the table, Dennis suddenly sat up and burp-yawned, noisily.

‘So tell us everything about the bar,’ Hooch turned a page and continued writing. ‘Where was Wes hit exactly, and what, if anything, was said?’

Doc took a sip of his pint and then brusquely back-handed his lips. ‘ Uh… Well, like I said, Wes had just got in there, with the agent — the source said the agent’s name’s Edward, or Ted, and that he’s great pals with the Turpin girl — and then this other guy, a local, who goes by the name of…’ Doc inspected the palm of his hand where he’d scribbled down the details in biro, ‘Dewi. Spelled with an “e”. Welsh. Was in love with the Turpin girl before all the problems with the graffiti and everything…’

‘The moose, ’ Hooch interrupted, ‘from this morning. Gotta be. The shadow. The dusty one. The nut.’

‘The very same,’ Doc confirmed. ‘Anyhow, Wes’d barely got in there before this Dewi bloke came in after him and punched him twice. Felled him twice, too. Chin, cheek…’

‘Did he say anything,’ Shoes asked, ‘before he punched him?’

‘No. Not at first. But he did say something in the middle of the fight. He apparently shouted…’ Doc inspected his palm, ‘he said, Why are you tormenting my Katherine? Why won’t you leave her alone? Or something approximate.’

Hooch clucked under his breath. He hated approximations.

‘Turpin girl was always a slapper,’ Herbie picked up his pint glass, ‘she enjoys the notoriety. Her father left town after the scandal broke. And it was all something and nothing. Just a group of kids, gossiping. He was a great headmaster. Top class bloke. Marriage hit the rocks. The mother stayed on here for a while then went to Kenya. He’s up in Scotland, I believe. Runs an exclusive boys’ boarding school. They were Dutch, originally,’ he took a deep breath, ‘she can’t help herself, that one. The young lad’s wasting his time there.’

‘And did Wesley say anything back?’ Hooch asked, ignoring Herb’s soliloquy.

‘Nothing. Although later, outside, the young fella said he’d muttered something vague about not being able to sleep. And he mentioned a flower, very particularly. He mentioned a…’ Doc looked to his palm, ‘a gardenia. ’

‘Fantastic’

Hooch liked this detail, ‘He was punch drunk, presumably. Might’ve let something slip relating to the Loiter in the heat of the moment.’

‘That’s what the lad thought, certainly.’

‘But what about Furby?’ Shoes interrupted. ‘How did Furby know we were all here in Canvey if the website’s down? Nobody else seems to have clicked yet. We usually have a crowd of at least thirty by Friday.’

‘Somebody must’ve told him,’ Hooch shrugged, ‘or he checked in on the site a couple of days back. Wesley’s location was definitely pinpointed then, although usually — by now — he’d’ve moved on.’

‘Last I knew,’ Herbie interjected, ‘he was in secure accommodation, somewhere in Hertfordshire.’

‘Somebody must’ve got him out of there,’ Hooch shrugged.

Doc frowned at this. ‘Good point, Hooch,’ he scratched his old ear with a gnarled finger, ‘but who? And why?’

‘We’re getting off the point Old Man,’ Hooch groaned, licking his pencil tip, ‘I need to know how Furby got Wesley tied up.’

‘ Sicko, ’ Shoes whispered, semi-ironically.

‘ You should talk,’ Hooch sniped back.

‘And what about this girl,’ Herbie asked, ‘I don’t know anything about the girl. Who is she?’

‘Josephine Bean,’ Doc clarified, ‘fresh as a daisy. Only started Following at dawn today.’

‘A Behindling?’

‘Claims she is,’ Doc nodded.

‘I told you about the books,’ Shoes interrupted, ‘on the walk, before. The L’Amour. That was her idea.’

‘Oh yes,’ Herbie slowly recollected.

‘I think she is, anyway,’ Shoes drained his glass.

‘Pardon?’ (Hooch, with a belch.)

‘A Behindling. I think she’s to be trusted. I like her. She’s ballsy.’

‘And you’re so bloody discriminating, Shoes, eh?’

‘She’s from Southend. She works as a nurse,’ Doc enlightened The Blind Man, holding back his counsel on the other stuff.

‘She has some kind of profile as an environmental campaigner,’ Hooch added, ‘which I found a little bit… challenging. ’

Doc gave him a warning look. Hooch didn’t catch it. Shoes caught it, though, and nudged Hooch for him.

‘What was that?’ Herbie asked, sensing the movement.

‘She works with sanitary products,’ Hooch smiled, glancing up and shrugging at the Old Man. Herbie wrinkled his nose. Doc tapped his own with his middle finger. Hooch grimaced.

‘But what did she do, ’ Shoes interrupted, ‘to stop the fight?’

‘Well that’s the crazy bit,’ Doc explained. ‘She threatened to harm herself.’

‘Come again?’ Herbie frowned.

‘This Dewi guy — a big guy, I mean you’ve seen how big he is — he was preparing to smash into Wes for the third time. The source…’ Doc inspected his palm, ‘Bo… He said he thought he was going to kill him. He was probably exaggerating. And coincidentally, there was an off-duty cop in there… The one Hooch and I saw earlier outside the Turpin house. The woman. Knew Josephine Bean from their schooldays, it seems. They were in there having a drink together.’

‘Jesus H,’ Hooch shook his head, inspecting his notebook, ‘this is a bloody jigsaw.’

‘And she was getting ready to try and do something,’ Doc continued, ‘I mean the cop; to step in — when the Behindling…’

‘Or not, as the case may be,’ Hooch said.

‘This girl Josephine comes rushing forward, into the fray, soaking wet from the rain — he called her…’ Doc looked to his palm again, ‘the source called her… a little fury.

‘Anyway, she had a beer bottle in her hand. She smashed it open on a table-top, put the sharp end to her wrist and shouted…’

‘ What? ’ Shoes was plainly astonished by this.

‘shouted … uh… Stop or I’ll cut myself, I’ll cut myself… three or four times over. And then she starts to slash at her arm with the bottle. He said it looked bad for her. Drew a deal of blood, at any rate.’