Nicola Barker - Behindlings

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The breakthrough novel from one of the greatest comic writers in the language — one of the twenty selected by Granta as the Best of Young British Writers 2003.
Some people follow the stars. Some people follow the soaps. Some people follow rare birds, or obscure bands, or the form, or the football.
Wesley prefers not to follow. He thinks that to follow anything too assiduously is a sign of weakness. Wesley is a prankster, a maverick, a charismatic manipulator, an accidental murderer who longs to live his life anonymously. But he can't. It is his awful destiny to be hotly pursued — secretly stalked, obsessively hunted — by a disparate group of oddballs he calls The Behindlings. Their motivations? Love, boredom, hatred, revenge.

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Doc turned and then he just ran, he just ran into the roadway…

The young guide grabbed Jo’s arm and walked on with her. ‘The sugar people are determined,’ he said, ‘that the Loiter should progress without any further complications. Especially where Doc’s concerned. We’ve simply been hired to keep an eye…’ he faltered, ‘to keep a lid on things…’

‘Call me slow, ’ Jo interrupted, ‘but from where I’m standing, all you seem to’ve done so far is undermine him. The poor devil thinks everyone’s turned against him — he thinks he’s going insane — and now, to top it all off…’

‘Okay,’ the young guide stopped walking, was suddenly businesslike, ‘you’ve worked out the L’Amour connection already, and I’m presuming the kid unwittingly helped you with some of the other stuff in the Wimpy yesterday…’

Jo stared at him, frowning.

Were they Following me, yesterday?

Couldn’t I tell?

Didn’t I see?

‘You’re a local girl,’ he smiled at her, encouragingly, ‘an environmentalist, no less. You’re germed up on the geography of the whole south-eastern coastal region. You have an advantage…

‘Why?’ she stared at him, bemusedly.

Think about it.’

He pointed behind her and then placed his hand onto his belly. She glanced over her shoulder, back towards Shoes, not really focussing. She was quiet for a second, then her eyes widened. Her heart nearly missed a beat. ‘The Sands…

She rapidly counted the letters off onto her fingers. ‘ Shit. That’s it. Goodwin Sands. Past Deal, near Sandwich…’

He watched her, smiling benevolently.

‘The prize is on the Sands? ’ she reiterated breathlessly, trying frantically to work things back…

‘Oh God… ’ she suddenly made the connection. ‘Clue 2. That’s the giveaway…’

He nodded.

Barflies — ’ she recited from memory, ‘ This is just a stop-over, 105, maximum…

‘The rest is all just filler, basically…’

She frowned. She was quiet for a minute.

‘But hang on…’

‘It’s clever, though, isn’t it?’ he said, trying to stall her train of thought. ‘ Barflies. Because it’s a sand bar, and people can only visit it…’

‘In June,’ she interrupted, taking his bait, ‘during the equinox — the low spring tides — when it’s finally revealed, but for only a few hours… so there were astronomical directions…’

He nodded. ‘Clue 4…’

She ran ahead of him. ‘ There’s lamb and lynx and lion, Yet no fish and no fowl either… they’re all astrological signs?’

‘Yup. The first three are all visible in the Northern Hemisphere during early June.’

She paused for a second, visibly astonished. ‘That’s actually very…’ she was awed, ‘… clever.

‘Kew-wee-we-wu,’ he continued, ‘the distinctive song of the Godwit. A wading bird. It’s rumoured that the Godwit sometimes visits the area at that particular time of year…’

She was nodding again, thoughtfully.

‘Good-win,’ she said. ‘That’s perfect. What a…’ she unconsciously rolled Dennis’s lead tight around her fingers, until his front feet were almost pulled from the ground, ‘what an amazing wind-up.’

‘But nobody can go onto the sands and find the prize, obviously,’ the guide continued smartly, ‘until the right time of year.’

Jo smiled at this. ‘Oh no,’ she said, noticing Dennis’s predicament, and unwinding him fractionally.

His eyes tightened.

‘Oh no,’ she repeated, ‘it’s not quite that simple, though, is it?’

The guide began walking again. Very quickly. Josephine turned and followed, dragging the dog behind her.

‘It doesn’t add up. L’Amour has to fit into this puzzle somewhere. And Doc.’

‘What you need to bear in mind,’ the guide explained, curtly, ‘is that Doc’s son…’

‘Colin,’ Jo reminded him, pointedly.

‘It wasn’t our responsibility that he saw fit to wander around in that Welsh estuary. There were plenty of warnings about the tides there…’

‘It did look rather bad for your people, though,’ she smiled, tightly, ‘didn’t it?’

He ignored her. ‘The Loiter was only intended as a bit of fun…’

‘Get to the point.’

‘The prize isn’t on Goodwin, as such.’

He was squirming. She noticed, stopped walking. She shook her head, ‘I’m not…’

He scowled, turned, ‘The prize is Goodwin.’

‘What?’ She stared at him, open-mouthed, ‘You bought The Sands?’

He nodded, ‘That was the… the twist… the irony. To give a prize which cost so much — financially — which meant so much, historically, geographically, culturally — as a navigational landmark and all the rest of it — but which was — and is, actually — to all intents and purposes — worth absolutely nothing.’

She was loving this. Couldn’t resist it.

‘And L’Amour?’

‘There are references to L’Amour throughout the clues. Wesley’s father was a sailor. L’Amour was a sailor and an adventurer and a writer. He had two children, Angelo and Beauty…’

Sweet Beauty and her Angel …’ Jo interrupted.

‘Precisely. L’Amour’s family published new novels by him, even after his death. Books that were written just before he died, for that very purpose. He was a man who became — in effect, and perfectly voluntarily — almost an industry. Those kinds of ideas — those ramifications — have a particular significance to Wesley. The numbers 42 and 8 refer to the number of fights L’Amour won and lost in his career as a professional boxer…’

So the gone might gander, ’ Jo suddenly filled in, slowly catching up.

He nodded, ‘ Utah Blaine — Wesley makes a reference to Hondo, L’Amour’s most famous book, with Sirius, God of Dogs — but Utah Blaine is the important one. He signposts Utah geographically in Clue One with references to a series of rivers — the Beaver… Antelope… Bear. In Utah Blaine the hero risks his life for something that is not actually his. An abstract principle. For honour. A ranch that belongs to a dead man so is effectively worthless… I presume you’re starting to see the parallels…?’

Jo nodded, ‘Of course. But I still don’t understand Doc’s connection to all of this.’

The young guide drew a deep breath, ‘It was felt — in light of his son’s drowning, and the universal upset this tragedy generated in the media — that it might seem…’ he paused, searching for the right word, ‘ inappropriate if the prize were to be an island whose entire history is a torrid patchwork of drownings and shipwrecks and misery. These sands are held to be one of the most treacherous offshore strands in the world. When Colin ’ the guide used his name with especial emphasis, ‘died, it was then felt that some adjustments should be made to the whole Goodwin arrangement. As it currently stands, the Loiter is a PR disaster. And a very personal one, too, for Murdoch, for Murdoch’s family…’

‘So Wesley happily went along with the idea of a cover-up?’ Jo was suspicious.

The guide paused, then nodded, ‘Of course. Whatever impression he likes to give, he’s as concerned for Doc’s feelings as the rest of us. Doc is a key figure in the whole Following diaspora. He’s central. It’d be a tragedy if the…’

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