Nicola Barker - The Yips

‘The tattooist needs someone to baby-sit,’ Toby helpfully interjects.

‘Oh. Sure.’ Jen shrugs. ‘Fine. What time?’

Gene scowls. ‘I thought you were dead set against the whole tattoo thing,’ he mutters.

‘You did?’ Jen looks surprised. ‘Whatever gave you that impression?’

‘Maybe the fact that you tried everything within your power to dis suade him.’

‘I was using reverse psychology.’ Jen grins.

‘So you do want him to get the tattoo?’ Gene’s perplexed, almost impatient.

‘Of course I do, you numbskull!’ Jen snorts. ‘I’m the Harbinger of Chaos, remember?’

‘Is that your official title?’ Toby wonders.

‘Yup.’ Jen nods. ‘I’ve got little tags sewed inside all my clothes.’

‘Must be very small tags,’ Israel avers, from the back seat.

‘Nano,’ Jen affirms.

‘I thought you were the Angel of Peace,’ Gene grumbles.

‘Exactly.’ Jen nods again (apparently quite content with the contradiction). ‘Are we ready to head off yet? Bubs here was due back at the hotel over an hour ago.’

Israel snorts at Jen’s impudent use of the word ‘bubs’.

Gene checks his watch. ‘I can only take you as far as Crawley Green Road …’

‘Right-o.’

‘D’you mind if I tag along too?’ Toby wonders. ‘I need to find myself a B&B in town. And I was hoping to pop in and see Esther at the hospital.’

‘Fine. Climb in.’

Gene walks around to the driver’s side, jumps on board, throws off his hat, belts up and starts the engine. When he unexpectedly catches a brief glimpse of his own reflection in the side mirror, he notices a worn, almost beleaguered set to his face.

The next quarter of an hour is spent gradually adjusting to the considerable bump and roll of the antique vehicle, not to mention the earth-shattering volume of engine noise. Jen and Israel soon cut their losses during a small build-up of traffic by the Windmill Trading Estate and jump ship, opting to head back to the Arndale on foot, via St Mary’s Road.

Gene waits — idling in neutral — for several minutes, then finally concedes defeat and turns the engine off. He checks his watch then peers over at Toby who still appears happily ensconced.

‘If you’re thinking of heading to the hospital,’ he suggests, ‘then you could do worse than follow them into the town centre and get a bus. The X31 should get you there, or the 7 or the 8 —’

‘D’you mind if I ask you something?’ Toby interrupts.

‘Nope.’ Gene shrugs.

‘You’ve seen Ransom and I working together — in pretty close proximity — over the last couple of days or so …’

Gene nods.

‘And from what you’ve observed, d’you think …’ He pauses, losing confidence.

‘Think what?’ Gene prompts.

‘D’you think he respects me at all?’

‘Respects you?’ Gene repeats, surprised.

‘Esther says — I mean she seems to think — that he doesn’t. That he doesn’t respect me.’

Gene considers his response for a second. ‘Well, he sacked Esther,’ he finally offers, ‘and he hasn’t sacked you yet.’

‘Maybe he only sacks the people he actually respects,’ Toby suggests, ‘the people who offer some kind of a direct challenge to his authority or his blinkered world-view. I’m the first to admit that I’ve never really done that …’ He smiles, somewhat sheepishly. ‘Wouldn’t really dare.’

‘You’re not confrontational by nature,’ Gene observes, ‘nor am I. But that’s often a useful quality in business — and an invaluable quality in life, for that matter. So long as you respect yourself — know what your perimeters are — I can’t really see a problem with the softly-softly approach.’

He pauses for a second. ‘Instead of wondering whether Ransom respects you, why not spend a little more time considering whether you respect him — whether you share the same goals, whether you like him as a person, as a boss, even.’

‘I had this great opportunity come my way recently.’ Toby frowns. ‘Esther thought —’

‘You’re kind of like a family,’ Gene interrupts, ‘everyone playing different roles.’

‘That’s exactly what Esther said.’ Toby grins.

‘Really? What did she think your role was?’ Gene can’t resist asking.

‘Idiot child.’

‘Oh.’ Gene digests this for a second. ‘That seems a little harsh, perhaps.’

‘I did an engineering degree at university — specialized in biochemistry.’ Toby fiddles, uneasily, with the top button on his collar. ‘Esther thinks my talents are being wasted where I am.’

‘Not much of a fan of nine-hole, eh?’ Gene chuckles, tiredly.

‘She’s quite a traditionalist at heart.’

‘You seem to care an awful lot about what Esther thinks,’ Gene notes.

‘I like Esther,’ Toby confesses, almost shame-faced. ‘I respect her enormously. I just wish …’

‘I hardly know Esther,’ Gene admits, ‘but she strikes me as being pretty …’— he clears his throat, keen not to offend — ‘… hard-nosed,’ he eventually finishes off.

‘We have a mutual interest in engineering.’ Toby cheerfully sidesteps the ‘hard-nosed’ comment. ‘She’s very practical. We both have this weird kind of, I dunno, “spatial” side. We’re very different people, but we see stuff in exactly the same way — process information in the same way. I mean she doesn’t have that many opportunities to showcase those skills in her current line of work …’

‘So you think Esther’s talents are being wasted, too.’ Gene cranes his neck to try and see if the traffic is moving at the roundabout. It isn’t.

‘Absolutely.’ Toby nods. ‘I’ve been banging on about it for a while, now — not that she ever listens to anything I say.’

‘Well that’s something else you have in common, I guess,’ Gene states the obvious. ‘You each want the other to break free from Ransom, but you still don’t seem quite able to make that same transition yourselves.’

‘She appears strong — almost invulnerable. Aggressive. Hard-nosed,’ Toby concedes, ‘but there’s a fragile core. It’s all just a big front with Esther. She’s one of those “bark worse than their bite”, people. When you spend a bit of time with her, once her guard finally comes down — you know, late at night, after a quiet meal and a couple of drinks …’

‘When she finally allows herself to relax.’

‘Exactly. When she finally “allows” herself,’ Toby repeats, ‘because she so rarely allows herself anything. And even if she does happen to let you weasel your way inside that prickly, barbed-wire fence she surrounds her heart with, if she does let you inside then you’ll definitely pay a price for it afterwards. She can be really ruthless. Makes all these catty comments. Ignores you. Undermines you in groups. But the way I see it she’s just running scared. Doesn’t want to show weakness — doesn’t dare to.’

‘In case the whole edifice collapses.’ Gene nods.

‘She’s just so bound up in what Ransom wants, what Ransom needs.’

‘Have you ever considered that maybe she sees another side to Ransom? A side that you don’t actually get to see?’ Gene suggests. ‘A more human, more vulnerable side?’

‘She feels sorry for him.’

‘That’s not exactly what I meant.’ Gene frowns.

‘Yeah …’ Toby doesn’t seem especially keen to consider this idea in any depth.

‘Like I say,’ he runs on, ‘I had this opportunity to move into a completely different sphere, and Esther was all for it. But then I thought …’

‘Have you ever considered the possibility that Esther might be rivalrous with you at some level?’ Gene suddenly volunteers (too tired to bother tip-toeing around the issue any longer). ‘That she might perceive you as some kind of a threat, even? She certainly warned me off pretty ferociously the other night.’