Can Xue - Five Spice Street

‘‘I’ve decided not to take my gloves off. Don’t you think this is a good idea? The curtains are freshly mounted. Aren’t they quite special? I just recently had this idea.’’

‘‘Could it be that you had an unrealistic expectation of this world that you fabricated for yourself?’’ the writer said, deeply worried.

‘‘Are you talking about self-image? I’ve never been concerned about that. I just look at myself in the mirror, but I don’t have my photo taken. All of you know my foibles well. I’d inadvertently plunged into a kind of interlinked trap that was set by your-oh- Miss Chen. It’s hard to break away from it. I sit here and gain an increasingly unambiguous impression of the outside world. You, for example: you’re the one mending the net. You wanted to catch a little mouse. I made up my mind and solved all the problems.’’ She laughed softly again. ‘‘What have you come for? No one else has come: they aren’t used to being in a problem-free place. Young Miss Chen said, ‘It’s like an empty, transparent zone’ in which ‘people begin to float.’ ’’

The writer felt depressed. A shaft of light flashed out from a certain mirror and reflected his eyes. ‘‘Will you still go on with your research about eyeballs?’’

‘‘There’s no question but that my research has entered a high- level stage. I’m in the midst of struggling to break away from the microscope. I sometimes think: why don’t I create a miracle? Creation would be much more interesting than research! This curtain is my first step. But this isn’t a big deal. I will create a miracle out of nothing.’’ After saying all this, she suddenly held her head high and picked up a mirror next to the table. She threw it to the floor, and it broke into pieces. ‘‘I’ll create a miracle in this space. You can go. When you go out, be sure you don’t let any light in. That gives me a headache.’’

Truly, the writer had no way to make any connection-even one as fragile as a hair-between what Madam X was doing in her dark room and the mighty offensive of the crowds outside. She sat there, blocking out the light with heavy curtains, making rustling noises as she created ‘‘miracles.’’ Even if people couldn’t restrain their inner enthusiasm and rushed in and started attacking her, it would be hard to say whether she reacted or not. The people on Five Spice Street all happened coincidentally to act in refined ways. They definitely didn’t intend to turn to action: they just blindly used an invisible spiritual weapon. Outsiders regarded that weapon as a certain kind of ‘‘qigong,’’ and no one could ensure that Madam X would be harmed by it. Looking at her, it didn’t seem that she sensed this ‘‘qigong’’ at all, so after leaving Madam X’s home, the writer was deeply worried: had the elites been mistaken in their judgment? And could this cause trouble that would be difficult to mend?

The third big change in Madam X came about unconsciously. Some time or other, she gave up her nighttime ‘‘dispel boredom’’ activities and hid out in the dark room, ‘‘concentrating on creating miracles.’’ And thus the female colleague noticed that her good friend had ‘‘completely lost her femininity’’ and ‘‘wouldn’t be able to attract even the ugliest man’s interest.’’ Her best friend was ‘‘deeply mortified’’ by this and yearned for ‘‘the good old days,’’ because ‘‘those days had been so enraptured.’’ ‘‘Living in those days, she felt she would always be a young girl, always superior, and absolutely confident.’’

After embracing the bygone days, she angrily changed the subject: ‘‘What do all of you think about this hanky-panky behind closed doors? She wants to create a false image of being loyal and steadfast: this is clear enough. Isn’t this a joke? As for adultery, it doesn’t make any difference whether there’s one lover or twenty. Doesn’t she even know this much? If we can say that her past behavior embodied a certain innocence and was a kind of free indulgence, she certainly doesn’t have that excuse anymore. She’s actually a complete sham, a person with detestable behavior. And all of a sudden she closes the door and changes from a devil into an angel! And becomes extremely serious! What’s she trying to prove? Does she think she can get a lock on her lover’s heart this way? Right. I remember this is just the kind of person she is. If she stares at someone, then she immediately affects a certain attitude, as if she has reformed completely overnight. I hear that her lover is a weirdo who is incredibly jealous. Because of him, she doesn’t look at any other men. She hides inside all the time. Although she has no other choice, I still have to say that this is the most scandalous behavior I’ve ever seen in her. She even calls this behavior ‘creation’-her ‘creation.’ Rather, she has created herself into a disgusting weirdo. Those who used to appreciate her all want to cover their noses and flee! When she leaves her room, her whole body reeks of sulfur. Whenever she opens her window, the passersby see thick smoke billowing out from her room! Who could still remember the likable woman I used to work with? She’s ruined her self-image. This is really depressing.’’ The female colleague began shedding tears. The people listening to her felt touched by the women’s friendship: they all looked downcast.

Was Madam X really ‘‘creating miracles’’ in her room? Could she purposely throw out this smoke bomb and actually tryst inside with her lover? Answer: No. You have to realize that she wasn’t so simple- minded or so driven by passion that she would entice her lover to her home for a daytime tryst. We mustn’t underestimate our adversary. As for the site of their tryst, no one up to now has come up with any reliable information. One said it was on the mountain nearby; another said it was behind the garbage dump; another said it was in Old Meng’s attic (the one who had this opinion was the good friend of X’s husband); another said it was in the meeting room, and so on and on and on. Out of more than a thousand people, there were at least five hundred different views. So we can see only that the crowds were motivated by their inner passion to come up with some irresponsible guesses. But the adultery actually did occur very recently. Inwardly, everyone was sure of this. In the dark meeting, they verified this with their high-level telepathy. Each person had actually ‘‘seen’’ the adultery, and they could still see it clearly. If you asked about it, they were unanimous. As for the place and the time- those were minor issues. The important point was that they had ‘‘seen’’ it. And this ‘‘seeing’’ was ever-present: it richly embodied the artistic temperament and poetic grace among the people on Five Spice Street. Since Madam X could become ‘‘invisible’’ in her adultery with Mr. Q, others couldn’t get a handle on it. Yet, the elites on Five Spice Street could re-create her adultery by employing a special method-called ‘‘the fox is smart, the hunter is smarter.’’

It didn’t matter whether Madam X was phony or real-nothing mattered. Now she really was staying away from men. No longer did any dizzying fragrance come from her person. Nor did she any longer have that sort of ‘‘sex appeal.’’ When her sister asked about this, Madam X laughed out loud and said that she ‘‘hadn’t even thought about it.’’ How would she know if other people were interested in her? She had never bothered to figure out whether she was ‘‘chaste or lewd.’’ She was simply being herself. She liked men. Too bad that when she opened her eyes, all she saw was garbage. Since now she had found the one she truly loved, ‘‘she wouldn’t lay an eye on those pieces of garbage.’’ She couldn’t be happier: she didn’t care what other people thought! That day, she and her sister sat for a long time in the dark room. By the light that came from the mirrors, her sister saw tears in Madam X’s eyes: in fact, she wasn’t as happy as she’d said she was. At once, her sister empathetically began to take pity on this ‘‘beloved older sister.’’ She arbitrarily thought that her sister must be cold and took a woolen coat out of the closet and draped it over her shoulders. Yet, it was a warm May day. Everyone else was wearing light clothing. She seemed to stop worrying a little only when she saw her put on the coat.