Can Xue - Five Spice Street

Madam X herself was indifferent about having regained her sight. It also wasn’t certain that she had recognized this change. The enraptured people on Five Spice Street thought this was exciting, much like the adultery itself. After meals, they stood next to the road across from the snack shop, waiting for Madam X to emerge, and then they dashed madly across in front of Madam X, shoving her until she almost fell down. They did this to see how much sight Madam X had recovered and thereby to take another step in figuring out the subtle link between this change and the ‘‘adultery.’’ This work was very interesting. Once it started, it didn’t stop. Everyone showed striking tenacity and desperation. Day after day, they indulged in this. Madam X had a rough time: she didn’t dare go outside. Maybe when she was walking, some guy would rush at her like a bullet that she couldn’t dodge. Who knows?

One day, as they were having dinner, she said spitefully to her husband, ‘‘There are some things that I’ve been seeing all the time. I just didn’t look at them, that’s all. Even if I looked at them, I put on a wide-eyed expression. This was beyond their expectations, so they became nervous. It’s fun to make people nervous. I always wanted to joke with them. What do you think? Sometimes, I gravely put on a straight face, as if I were having a hard time. Have you noticed the way they look when they’re walking? They strain to stick out their rear ends, don’t they? Actually, there’s no need for that. It doesn’t explain anything.’’

Her husband listened to her nonsense as if entranced, and finally answered, not very appropriately, ‘‘They’re just like ducks!’’

‘‘For example, today I talked with that Wang girl who fries dough twists (she probably meant the widow). I talked with her about ways to get rid of rats. Her face blanched and she shivered. These people — what’s in their minds? I didn’t have to talk with her, this Wang girl. It was just an impulse: I wanted to scare her by mentioning rats. I know that’s what she’s most afraid of. She’s always shouting, even in the middle of the night. Haven’t you noticed? I enjoyed taking her by surprise.’’ The more nonsense she talked, the more entranced her husband was. He nodded.

Now, whenever the people on Five Spice Street talked with Madam X, they couldn’t help but mention her eyesight. Some flattered her by saying that she had ‘‘keen eyesight.’’ Others didn’t bother with flattery but spoke directly of their own feelings. They all avoided speaking of ‘‘adultery’’: they felt it would be barbaric to do so. Even if a lady was so weird, they certainly couldn’t use this word in front of her! Not talking about it didn’t mean that they went along with it. They used roundabout, measured ways to teach her a lesson. Let’s quote what a few people said:

The widow: ‘‘I heard that your eyesight came back. This doesn’t need to be emphasized. This doesn’t amount to anything. A person was blind and then recovered. No big deal! If you hadn’t told us, probably no one would have known. Actually, having good eyes, even if they’re clairvoyant-that’s nothing to be arrogant about. If you think you can do whatever you want because of this, then you’re out of your mind. That’s what some people think-did you know that? As for people who’ve lost their self-awareness, it would be much easier to live in the dark. Then no one would pay attention to you, and it would be possible to excuse your absurd behavior. But now it’s tit for tat. There’s no advantage for someone in regaining her eyesight!’’ (When she spat out these words, she bared two protruding front teeth.)

Old Meng: ‘‘Since you’ve recovered your vision, you don’t need those mirrors any longer. I think the first thing you should do is throw away those mirrors; you mustn’t begrudge giving them up. As soon as a person looks in a mirror, she hallucinates, and devastating lust automatically results. Look at the people all around: who else looks in mirrors? Nobody! So everyone is fine, and no one else has done anything strange. Isn’t this clear?’’

The female colleague: ‘‘Although I’m your friend, I don’t think your bright vision is good for you at all: it’s just made you even more ridiculous. Who will believe that this makes you more charming? Your charm was attested to a long time ago: the verdict on that came in when you and I were still colleagues. Now you still want to take great pains to make a new name for yourself. Actually, this doesn’t suit you. This would lead to big trouble.’’

The husband’s good friend: ‘‘Now you can see me, and it makes me uneasy. I’m not used to other people seeing me too well: that’s like having an X-ray taken. To tell you the truth, I don’t think your image is nearly as brilliant as before. Before, although you were flawed in various ways, when all is said and done, I was touched by your naivete and unconsciously acted as your guardian all along. Now, though, you’ve changed in a certain way (an indirect reference to the adultery), and you actually act as if nothing has happened and intimidate me with your eyes. I feel really ashamed and wish I could find a hole to hide in.’’

How did Madam X react to these rebukes? Let’s listen to some of what she said:

1. ‘‘I can see whatever I want to see. No big deal. Eyesight per se is actually quite unimportant. The way I use it is what makes the difference. Previously I used it rather economically, but now I deliberately throw it around. In any case, it depends on my own situations. For so many years, I didn’t change any of my original intentions; the next few decades will be the same. Now is the period in my life when I am most exultant. I’ve experienced the advantage of being freewheeling, and hope that-like me-you will also have this good fortune.’’ (She said this to her younger sister.)

2. ‘‘The affair? So what? It’s really bizarre: how can it be that other people don’t have ‘that affair’? It’s said that everyone is whispering in secret, losing sleep at night, and staying close to the main street in the daytime-all because of ‘that affair’ of mine! I’ve been so happy that I’ve wanted to pat a certain one of you on the shoulder and talk of my inner feelings so that we could share them! As soon as I open my mouth, I notice that person’s eyes are nervous-like a thief’s. Then I have to give up. Ah, about the affair! You all treat me like a monkey. Have I been a monkey all along?’’ (She said this to her husband’s good friend.)

3. ‘‘When I say ‘kite’ to one person, he answers with ‘Pay attention to your shoes.’ I’ve been saying things like this for a few decades: why hasn’t anyone noticed this? Can people be so numb? They say the problem lies with me; they say I have a certain disease. I take great pleasure in deliberately exaggerating my illness. This scares them into forgetting me. These people are bizarre. I finally know that. Recently, I’ve been using my eyesight too much, and as a result I’ve discovered endless weird things. For example, F came to my house today. I looked up at him for a moment, and he turned shy at once: he flushed and couldn’t sit still. I cleared my throat loudly a few times and asked him hesitantly, ‘Are the veins in the table’s wood jumping around a little too frequently? Today, everything in this room is jumping around too vigorously. You’ll see that if you look at the curtains. Is there some reason for this? I can never come up with a definite idea about this.’ He was listening in surprise. Frenzied light flashed from his eyes. I really wanted to see him take a hard fall. There’s no reason for these pieces of garbage to be watching me like this. I have to come up with some ways to deal with their rude highhandedness.’’ (She said this to her husband.)