Can Xue - Five Spice Street

Sure, there were some exceptions to this. For example, the widow and her forty-eight-year-old friend. Their behavior was entirely different. They sat erect, and from beginning to end they looked at the clouds on the horizon. They looked melancholy and refused to listen. That’s to say that they didn’t listen to any of the weird things Madam X said. They could hang on to their mature femininity. If everyone had the same fine character they did, there’d have been no market for Madam X’s schemes. In the midst of boredom, she certainly would also be dejected and would be thinking about ending this show. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the reality, and unfortunately, a lot of us unwittingly catered to her abnormal desires and showed great interest in her baffling pretense at profundity, so she was able to make use of our moods to be so defiant. The more attention people gave her, the more anxious she was to show that she looked down on them. As time went on, this had become a Pavlovian response. And from this she reaped unimaginable joy. Our widow was the first to see through this. She had gone to great lengths to educate these guys who refused to come to their senses. She kept advising them on the basis of her own experience and even impatiently slapped a certain person several times. But these congenitally lazy men kept walking toward the corner: they seemed to be incurable. Anytime Madam X and her family appeared next to the road, they couldn’t help craning their necks to watch and listen attentively. It was as if they were deluded.

The widow and others weren’t strong enough to change reality. All they could do was stay out of this stream of people and sit there with straight faces to show they were different. Clear-sighted people could see the polarization in the ranks and the disagreement in strategy. Although everyone felt the same-that is, they were opposed to X and her family-because of theoretical differences and intellectual disputes, victory became less and less possible. Most of their energy went into the internal struggle. It seemed that this kind of situation wouldn’t change in the near future. Thus, the enemy was able to take advantage of this opening and walk around freely, spouting evil and being very aggressive. Seeing the intrigues that went on day in and day out, the widow was anxious. Every day when it was time for cooling off outside, she was as jittery as an ant on a hot pot as she called together her faction and formed a close charmed circle of these people. They all whispered to one another. The radical faction suggested throwing stones to force those three people ‘‘to go home.’’ The more conservative faction suggested ‘‘temporarily suspending the cooling-off-outside movement’’ so that everyone would be in his or her own home at that time and the street would be deserted. If Madam X and her family still went out walking, fine; if she shouted something like ‘‘there’s not one person here,’’ fine. Anyhow, no one would be able to hear her. After two or three times, they would decide this wasn’t interesting, and they would naturally end their performances.

Tail A: I’m also highly intelligent and cultured. I’m not bad- tempered, and I’m very forbearing. In general, no matter the circumstances, I don’t alter my opinions. But this was obscene (I say obscene, because something was covered up behind it). I was hit by a deathblow and I was duped; my self-confidence wavered. What kind of person am I? Am I a useless idler who’s been following a decent couple every evening just to create rumors and then finally has gotten nothing? Are they really so decent? Could it be that I’ve tailed them night after night just to prove this little bit? Since I can’t prove what I wanted to prove, is it the other way around? Has it proved that I’m a jerk? In the beginning, I considered it a contest of wills. I was confident of victory. Now, I am less and less sure exactly what the problem is. No matter how hard I try, I can’t escape the circle of demons. Nothing is what it seems. I’m so utterly unnerved my shoes slipped off while I was running. Now I suspect I might have been deluded by a lie, that my talent might have been misused. What I’ve been doing is something like alchemy. Is tailing proper for one of my status?

Tail B: To begin with, I had no time to care about these two people’s whereabouts. Think about it: I had always been a tower of strength on the street. All the work was heaped on my head, and I was dead tired every day. I didn’t even have time for a noontime nap, for as soon as I closed my eyes, someone would come and yell at me to put up banners or wall newspapers or call the people together for a meeting. Sometimes, I wanted to sit down and have a cigarette, but I couldn’t because jealous people were always coveting my leadership position. I am a proud person. I wanted to do well in everything so that people would respect me. So where did I have the time and energy to be concerned with side issues? I throw myself wholeheartedly into whatever I do.

Now I want to charge these two rotten eggs with evildoing. No, I can’t stand it! It’s just too damnable! Like robbery, like a calamity. It leaves you speechless. Think about it: now I still haven’t made my mark in anything. I’m young and still single. I have a great future, but it’s far off. I’m not established in a job yet. I’m just full of beautiful fantasies, and then all of a sudden-these two rotten eggs! Who sent them to disturb our peaceful lives on Five Spice Street? Why do they swagger on the streets? And then lots of people started tailing them! Has this had any effect? Who dares to give this problem careful thought? All along, we’ve pretended to be ignorant of it! This is because all of us know our plight. Some have become so exhausted by this exasperating surveillance that they’ve fallen ill, and their lives are in danger! Yet, this isn’t the worst. The worst is that they persist in their old ways. You crumble in the face of such an attitude. Like a night owl, you scurry here and there, while they- absolutely unaware-saunter along at their leisure. Embarrassment and feelings of inferiority overwhelm you. You wobble, you see spots, you ache with fatigue, and you can never hope to get better- you just keep following them. You can’t expect quick success; you must even recognize that your efforts are in vain. You must recognize that your destiny is in their hands. Don’t imagine breaking free. Because I was tailing them, I asked Madam X what she thought about the wide-ranging efforts to tail her. ‘‘Early this morning,’’ she said, ‘‘I turned on the light and found the room filled with people sitting against the wall. The light forced them to narrow their eyes. One of them told me that they had lived in this room for years, observing me every day. They saw how overbearing I was, and that I’m cranky, impudent, and phony. Then he jumped on the table and began cursing loudly. He rushed at me and forced me to answer his questions. When he finished, he told me to go to the meeting hall. He said the meeting would result in a ‘new beginning.’ ’’

Madam X said that the ordinary people ‘‘perceived the minutest details.’’ She went out of her way to emphasize this. Wasn’t it clear what she meant? When did we begin to turn into fools? Not only had we turned into fools, but we also had no hope of shaking off this condition. The situation was clear enough. Maybe, if we stopped tailing them and took a live-and-let-live attitude, they would undergo an earthshaking change someday. Maybe we didn’t need to have so many people engaged in this activity. It might be all right if just one or two people handled it. But if everyone thought this way, no one would come. Also, if the two who did come thought this way, perhaps they would start making light of this whole matter. And in the instant we took such an attitude, a major problem would arise. That would really be too bad.