Alasdair Gray - Poor Things

Dear McCandless,

I was mad to part you and Bella. Come at once. I have accidentally injured all three of us in a terrible way. Only you, perhaps, may save us if you come here quickly, tonight, before sunset, as soon as possible .

Your miserable and, believe me,

Sincerely repentant friend;

Godwin Bysshe Baxter .

I leapt into the cab, was carried to Park Circus and rushed into the downstairs drawing-room crying, “What is wrong? Where is she?”

“Upstairs in her bedroom,” said Baxter, “and not ill, and all too happy. Try to be calm, McCandless. Hear the whole ghastly story from me before attempting to change her mind. If you need a drink I can offer you a glass of vegetable juice. Port is out of the question.”

I sat down and stared at him. He said, “She is waiting to elope with Duncan Wedderburn.”

“Who?”

“The worst man possible — a smooth, handsome, well-groomed, plausible, unscrupulous, lecherous lawyer who specialized — until last week — in seducing women of the servant class. He is too lazy to live by honest toil. Besides, a legacy from a doting old aunt has made toil unnecessary. He pays for his gambling losses and grimy amours by charging improperly high fees for slightly improper jobs on the shady side of the law. Bella now loves him, not you, McCandless.”

“How did they meet?”

“The morning after she got engaged to you I decided to make a will leaving her everything I own. I visited a very respectable elderly lawyer, an old friend of my father. When he asked about Bell’s exact relationship to me I answered in a confused manner for I suddenly suspected — without being absolutely certain — that he knew too much about the Baxter family to believe the story I told my servants. I blushed, stammered, then pretending an anger I did not feel declared that since I was paying for his services I saw no reason to answer impertinent questions which cast doubts on my honesty. I wish I had not said that! But I was flustered. He replied very coldly that he had only questioned me to ensure my will could not be contested by some other relative of Sir Colin; that he had served the Baxter family for nearly three generations, and if I could not trust his discretion I should go elsewhere. I longed to tell that good old man the whole truth, McCandless, but he would have thought me a lunatic. I apologized and left.

“I saw that the secretary who showed me out had been listening at his master’s keyhole, for he was far less obsequious than when he showed me in. I detained him in the corridor to the front door, taking out a sovereign and absent-mindedly fingering it. I said his master was too busy to do a piece of work for me — could he recommend someone else? He whispered the name and address of a solicitor who worked from a private house on the south side. I tipped the scoundrel and took a cab there. Alas, Wedderburn was in. I explained what I wanted and said I would pay extra to have it as soon as possible. He asked for no more information than I gave him. I was grateful. I admired his good looks and suave manner, and knew nothing then about the black iniquity of his soul.

“He called here the following day with copies of the will for signature. Bella was with me, here, in this room, and welcomed him with her usual effusiveness. His response was so cool, remote and condescending that it obviously hurt her. That annoyed me though I did not show it. I rang for Mrs. Dinwiddie to act as witness and the documents were signed and sealed while Bell sulked in a corner. Wedderburn then handed me his bill. I left the room to fetch the guineas from my strongbox and I promise you, McCandless, I returned in four minutes or less. I was glad to see that, although Mrs. Dinwiddie had now also left the room and Wedderburn seemed as cool as ever, Bella was again chattering as brightly as usual. And that, I thought, was the last of Duncan Wedderburn. This morning over the breakfast table she cheerfully told me that for the last three nights he has visited her bedroom after the servants retire. An imitation owl-hoot is his midnight signal, a lit candle in the window is hers, then up goes a ladder and up goes he! And tonight two hours from now she will elope with him unless you change her mind. Try to be calm , McCandless.”

I had grasped my hair with both hands and now I wrenched at it crying, “O what have they DONE together?”

“Nothing whose outcome you need dread, McCandless. I noticed her romantic nature quite early on our world tour, and in Vienna paid a highly qualified woman to teach her the arts of contraception. Bell tells me Wedderburn is versed in them too.”

“Have you not told her how evil and treacherous he is?”

“No, McCandless. I only discovered that this morning when she told me how evil and treacherous he is. The cunning fiend has seduced her with accounts of his debaucheries with all the women he has cheated and betrayed, and not just women, McCandless! He has indulged in an orgy of confession — she says it was as good as a book — and of course he declares that love of her has purified his life and made a new man of him and he will never abandon her . I asked if she believed this. She said not much but nobody had ever abandoned her before and the change might do her good. She also said that wicked people needed love as much as good people and were much better at it. Go to her McCandless and prove her wrong.”

“I am going,” I said, standing up, “and when Wedderburn arrives, Baxter, set your dogs on him. He is a burglar with no legal right here.”

Baxter stared at me with the distaste and amazement he would have shown had I told him to crucify Wedderburn on the spire of Glasgow Cathedral. He said reproachfully, “I must not thwart Bell, McCandless.”

“But Baxter, she has a mental age of ten! She is a child!”

“That is why I must not use force. If I hurt someone she loves her liking for me will turn to fear and distrust and my life will have no purpose. It will still have a purpose if I keep a house for her to return to when she tires of Wedderburn, or he of her. But maybe you can stop either happening. Go to her. Woo her. Tell her it is with my blessing.”

I ran upstairs in a rage which melted into grief at the sight of Bella, for her thoughts were not on me. Through an open door on the first landing I saw her sitting at an open window, an elbow on the sill and her hand supporting her cheek. She wore a travelling-costume; there was a strapped-up portmanteau at her feet with a broad-brimmed hat and veil resting on top. Though looking into the garden she appeared to me in profile, and in her expression and pose I saw what had never been there before: contentment and serenity tinged with melancholy at some thought of the past or future. She was no longer violently, vividly in the present. I felt like a small boy spying on a mature woman, and coughed to attract her attention. She looked round and gave me a sweetly welcoming smile. She said, “How kind of you to come, Candle, and keep me company during my last few minutes in the old, old home. I wish God could be here but he’s so miserable I can’t stand him just now.”

“I’m miserable too, Bella. I thought you and I were to marry.”

“I know. We arranged that years ago.”

“Six days — less than a week.”

“Anything more than a day seems eternity to me. Duncan Wedderburn suddenly touched me in places you never did and now I’m daft about him. When the gloaming comes so will he, stepping quietly from the lane through that door in the far-away wall 12and padding the latch with a cloth so it won’t click. Then tiptoe tiptoe tiptoe up the path he will come, and stealthily lift the ladder hidden in that bed of curly kail — it is not well hidden, you can easily see it — and O how tenderly how expertly he will raise it upright, how slowly tilt the top toward me till I can grip it and with my own hands place it on the sill of my window. You never did that with me. Then he will hurry us off to life, love and Italy, the coast of Coromandel where Afric’s sunny fountains pour down the golden sands. I wonder where we will end? Poor dear Duncan so enjoys being wicked. He probably would not want me if he knew God would let us walk together out of the front door in broad daylight. And Candle, besides our engagement I will always remember how often you visited me in the old days, and listened when I played to you on the pianola, and what a wonderful woman you made me feel by always kissing my hand afterwards.”