Bensalem Himmich - A Muslim Suicide

Next day Salman brought me my breakfast. He started complaining about the Castilians who had spent the night harassing the beggars and madmen of Murcia, throwing the whole lot of them-Jews and Muslims-into jail and torturing them until they either collapsed or died. That made me recall the incident of the day before.

"Blind revenge and group punishment is a widespread symptom of the Christians' insane policies," I told him. "God is the only victor!"

He then gave me three other bits of news: first, my baggage train was completely ready; my students were waiting by the door; and last, my mule had been killed and slaughtered. I had been planning to give the poor beast to my servant so that he would be able to carry out his functions more easily and have lesser burdens to bear. However, as I gave orders that it be buried, it was a clear sign that I needed to be on my way before my situation went from bad to worse.

I allowed the students to come in, but only `Abd Ali, `Amr, and Al-Sadiq stood before me. They all greeted me warmly and sat down opposite me, although they declined to share my breakfast. I said some gentle, comforting words in the hope of mitigating their sorrow.

"My master," said `Amr, "this is all too much for me. By leaving us you're bartering my own freedom. None of us who are devoted to you can tolerate the thought of your departure!"

"We will never be able to tolerate the idea," continued `Abd al-'Ali, "even if you were to promise us another meeting in the near future!"

"Master," said Al-Sadiq, most of us want to accompany you wherever you go and wherever you reside. Your learning enlightens us and your words give us strength in this gruesome era of terrifying collapse…"

"Our land is on a downhill slide," continued `Amr, "with every part rolling down toward the bottom. Our rulers tyrannize their own folk just as much as they prostrate themselves before their enemies. The Banu Hud meekly pay them taxes, and Alfonso the Infanta, crown prince of the Castilian king, Fernando, struts around our city, doing just as he pleases to it and its people. They have now been forced either to convert and become Christians or else leave or be killed. By God, prison or death are both preferable to this life of humiliation and contempt."

I was afraid I would have to spend a good deal of precious time with this group of young men who now found their own land so unbearable that their only recourse was anger and rebellion.

"My dear colleagues," I told them in an attempt to calm them down and introduce a voice of reason, "life has great need of you, as does this land. Don't throw yourselves into perdition or think of leaving unless you are forced to do so. Just think of our Muslim kings. When the Christians started to invade their territories, our rulers yelled for help first to the Almoravids, then to the Almohads; and when the Almohads turned against them, they turned to the Christians themselves. Now we have to lay our hopes on the Hafsids,* whose power is growing in Morocco; maybe they will be able to bring about change for the better. However, dear friends, you should not squander your lives on portents of despair. Rather you should remain steadfast, relying on the exalted heights of luminous learning; I wish you to follow the path of beneficial deeds. Before long Sabta will become the base from which I will be operating, my line of defense, and my refuge. It is there that I intend to investigate the state of affairs and appropriate spiritual postures and to engage with the bases of the protective enclosure. Now I want you all to embark upon actions that I will now outline for you. Make sure that, as you perform them, you do so in an upright and righteous fashion. Summon your colleagues to behave in a like manner."

As I had sensed, their companions were all gathered by the door, listening carefully to what I was saying. No sooner had I extended my invitation to them as well than they all rushed to join the circle of devotees, `Adnan at their head, and greeted me with all due apologies. A chorus of voices begged me to give them a final homily. I instructed them all to be seated, said the bismillah and a prayer for the Prophet.

"Young men," I told them, "I can only tell you precisely what I tell myself and those students who are closest to me. How many times have I told myself, `Rid yourself of all fanciful dependencies and attributes, and you will bolster your quest for the comforting shade of enveloping totality. Devote yourself entirely to your inevitable identity, and you will transcend your ephemeral one..

"To the extent possible I always tell myself, `Get to know God and only God, and you will know yourself. Through Him you will far outstrip your own self. Get to know God and only God, and you will be empowered against all evil. Mention His name, and by so doing you will render all other idols feeble; they will fall from your eyes like so many desiccated palm trunks.'

"This then tells you something about my personal state of mind. It affords me a capacity that continues to grow and aspires to touch the very heavens; it furnishes me with a delight that links my breathing to the pulses and footsteps of existence. Each one of you should only concern himself with his personal state, relying on the firmament of toil and creativity, and totally avoiding the pit of imitation and compliance. If you pursue the path that I am now recommending to you, you will emerge the winners and will prosper. You will possess both seeds and harvest.

"My children, you are the people of the word Recite. Each one of you should take on the words `0 John, take the book with power' [Qur'an, Sura 19, v. 12] as though they were being addressed specifically to you. You should also read the words of the prophets and sages as being epistles from them to you. Furthermore, each one of you needs to speak in the name of truth and supreme values as though emanating from the very fount of wisdom and the first of human speakers.

"The infinite universe is a book as wide as heaven and earth, so to the extent possible read it…

"The whole of creation is a book. Every era, old or new, is a book; every profound purpose is a book. If you focus your attention on all of this and let your endeavors set sail in its seas, it will fashion you anew and enrich you…

"In the past I have discovered, and still am discovering, that the only way to temper our consciousness and fructify it with the foibles of this world and the trials of existence is through acquaintance with the greatest products of human creativity and, to the extent feasible, by living in the lofty shadows of written works.

"b how foul is the course of this world and all its goods!' Thus speaks the perennial pessimist. But the things that such a person recognizes as being the constituent elements of life: bitterness, disasters, misfortunes, and the like, are adopted by the sage researcher-duly bolstered by his own talents-as crude material to be transformed into an uplifting, brilliant poetic ode or a priceless work of enlightenment.

"So, here I am living yet another day! That expression of wonderment can serve to illustrate the different ways of interpreting tone and lifestyle. It depends on whether it is spoken by someone who is tired of life and dispirited, or by someone who is happy and full of enthusiasm and elan.

"By the reality of those strands stretching from heaven to earth, learn how to seek knowledge, though it be in China-as the saying puts it-and it will provide you with veritable banquets and festivals for your souls; it will be your tools and equipment. Unless you dwell in its welcoming courts, there can be no pleasure and no propagation. Apart from the one and only living, wise, and prudent God, it alone can provide you with power and strength.

"You all aspire to be part of the new generation, the alternative clay, do you not!"