Philipp Meyer - American Rust

“I'm twenty-one.”

“Got us confused with someplace else.”

“You know I remember you from playing pool in Dave Watson's basement. I'm Billy Poe. I was two years behind you.”

“I already said I don't know you.”

She poured them both sodas. Poe took the cherry from his drink and threw it on the floor. The people in the bar watched with amusement. They were mostly older men in satin union jackets or hunting coats, faces thick from working too close to the blast furnaces or working outside or not working at all. Some of them went back to talking, a few had nothing better but to watch Poe and Isaac.

Isaac saw one of his father's friends from the mill sitting by himself, D. P. Whitehouse, he used to hang out Monday nights watching football, took Dad bird hunting after Dad moved back from Indiana, after the accident. But that had been a long time ago — D.P. hadn't come around for years. Now D.P. didn't recognize him, or didn't want to.

“Maybe we should wait outside,” said Isaac.

“No shit. Least go where we can get a fuckin beer.” He gave the bartender a hostile look but she ignored him.

Outside, there were too many people milling around so they decided to go into the alley to wait for Lee. When their eyes adjusted they saw two men sitting in a dark pickup truck, waiting for something. The driver motioned for them to leave the alley and they did, returning to the street to stand awkwardly.

“Were those cops?” said Isaac.

“Fuck no. Don't get paranoid now.”

“Harris knows. Not to mention you aren't the one in trouble.”

“Come on,” said Poe.

“You're right, this isn't really a big deal.”

“If he knew, we'd be getting beat with a rubber hose right now. He thinks we're just a couple of kids and plus they found that lady in a dumpster last week — they've got bigger things to worry about.”

They watched cars drive slowly up the street; then come back a minute later, going the other direction.

“He found your jacket,” said Isaac. “Not to mention if he did any real investigating he's got our fingerprints and shoeprints and your blood all over the place.”

“You've seen too much TV,” said Poe.

“Dunno if you noticed how torn up that ground was, because that wasn't just from his truck.”

“Mr. MacGyver.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Harris's probably knocked off a few bums himself, and as far as we know he'll be braggin on this one and takin credit for it. Plus either of those other ones probably ran off with my coat to wear, it ain't like they were dressed exactly warm.”

“The witnesses, you're talking about.”

“The two bums.”

“The older one who lives around here, who already recognized you.”

“Go ahead and think yourself to death, Isaac.”

A few minutes later, Lee's Mercedes came slowly down the street. She was looking for parking. They watched her stop and back the car easily into a small space.

“She'll be lucky if someone doesn't key that thing,” said Isaac.

“It'll be alright.”

They walked toward the car and waited. When she got out, Isaac said: “You're late.”

“Sorry,” she said. She smiled guiltily. “I had to get ready.”

She had gotten dressed up — a long fitted skirt and an open- necked white blouse and when she hugged Isaac he could smell perfume on her neck. She did not look like someone from the Valley. Isaac noticed she was wearing makeup — unlike her. Then he saw how she hugged Poe, the light touch at Poe's waist. He felt a surge of confusion and wasn't sure what to make of it.

“What's our plan,” she said.

“I think a drink wouldn't kill us,” said Poe. He was standing at his full height now, grinning self- consciously, blushing, he couldn't take his eyes off Lee. Nothing good is going to come of this, Isaac thought. He regretted not asking Harris to take them home.

“We really have to go,” he said quietly.

“We can get one drink,” Poe insisted. “We can all just visit a minute.”

“What's wrong?” said Lee.

“Your brother's just tired.”

Poe nodded to Lee and started ahead of them down the street, then stopped to smoke a cigarette while they talked.

“Well,” she said to Isaac.

“I'm fine,” he said. He wouldn't look at her.

“You wanna talk?”

He didn't answer.

“Buddy,” she said.

“Since when do you call me ‘buddy’?”

After standing there a minute Lee seemed to make a decision. She turned and began walking quickly to catch up to Poe. Isaac followed slowly after them.

Lee was walking ahead and he caught up and stayed close to her, he didn't care if Isaac followed them or not, he accidentally brushed against her and she let him and, as for Isaac, he'd always been like this, he was afraid of everything. Small wonder how they'd treated him in school, he was Ralph Nader Junior, an old fucking man. Harris could have locked them up but he hadn't, he'd taken care of things, old Harris had definitely taken care of it. Everyone knew Harris didn't give two shits about dead bums he'd burned all those old houses down hadn't he, he'd burned down an entire block of houses where the bums were living, Serbiantown it was called and Harris he had burned the entire thing, it had gone all night, eight- alarmer. He did not give two shits about a dead bum in a factory. Anyone could tell you that much.

Lee had gotten all fixed up to meet him. Eight months now she hadn't called, it had never been anything but fun and games to her and now she was married. He had heard it from Isaac, she had not even bothered to tell him. Only — here she was looking her very best, she didn't wear much makeup but she was wearing it all tonight, she had taken care to look her best for him. Turning heads walking down the street like this, they know she's in a different league, they would never recognize her. A giddy feeling overwhelmed him, he wanted to grab her up and hold her, hold some part of her in his mouth. Even being this close to her, if he could keep this feeling it would be enough.

They passed Howie's, there was no way they were going in there, Christ knew the things his friends would say in front of Lee. He decided on Frank's Tavern instead. A slightly older crowd, usually, though not by too much. Inside it was dark and humid and people were dancing. Empty drink glasses everywhere. Isaac sulking back behind them. Go on, Poe thought. Lee brushed his hand it was not accidental, he took her hand and squeezed it, in the crowd no one could see him, he looked at her she was blushing, she had that crooked smile, she only smiled that way when she couldn't help it. He would ignore Isaac, he decided, for the entire night. For his entire life. Inside the bar it was the aftermath of a wedding, a young couple, he recognized a bunch of people, spotted James Byrne across the room and turned quickly the other way. Jimmy Byrne who used to bring his girlfriend to the games only she started coming by herself, she used to give Poe rides home, they would park in the bushes. Did Jimmy know? Poe wasn't sure. Jimmy was one of those types who got his permit to carry a handgun as soon as he turned twenty- one, he used to pass the permit around at parties so everyone could look at it.

Everyone was dressed up, all the girls in church clothes and their boyfriends in new shirts. Getting a thrill rubbing on each other. Someone left their baby in the stroller, it was sitting there by itself, watching things.

“It's like old times,” Lee said, but Poe wasn't sure if she meant good or bad. They decided she would have a better chance of getting a drink and he watched her make her way to the bar, they were all jostling, she crossed her arms she was very small, a few dark hairs coming out of her ponytail, she looked, he didn't know, she looked like she was from someplace else, from Spain, she looked like a girl in a bar in Spain, a girl from a picture. He almost went in after her but he made himself stand there. He leaned against the wall, hands in pockets, took them out, crossed his arms, finally he put his hands behind him. She brushed her hair behind her ear and turned back and smiled at him. He smiled back at her and they looked at each other for a long time, across the room. He felt as if he could breathe and breathe and still never get enough air. His neck was tingling and he didn't want the feeling to go away, and then there was a commotion, the bride and groom came downstairs from some secret place, the bride's dress no longer on quite right and a cheer went up and the bride looked down and the groom raised his hand in the air like some kind of general, big deal Poe thought we all know you fucked her. But when he looked at Lee, he got a sick feeling — she had just been a bride herself. He was sick, literally sick for a second, he could feel things rushing up from his stomach and he took a swallow of someone's beer, someone's half- finished beer just sitting there, to push it back down. Look at you he thought you are not thinking right you should not even be here with her. She'd gotten sidetracked in the people dancing and she caught his eye and waved for him to come out and dance but he wasn't sure now, he didn't know what to do he just stood there. She was only doing it to be nice.