Máirtín Ó Cadhain - Graveyard Clay - Cré na Cille

— Mangy Nóirín …

— Let on you don’t hear her at all, Nóróg …

— Yep , Dotie. I mean to go ahead on my own and found a cultural society. I think a lot can be done to improve the minds of the people here and to give breadth and scope to their cultural feelings. A wide range of subjects will be discussed, from political matters to communications, economics, science, learning, education, and so on. But they’ll be discussed in a proper and academic manner, irrespective of sex, race or religion. No one who’s accepted into the society will be hindered from expressing their views, and the only qualification for membership will be a love of culture …

— Do you think it was the yeast of culture germinating in me that made me take up the pot-hook and strike …

— De grâce , Dotie. “God forgives the big sins, but it is we who cannot forgive ourselves the little sins,” as Eustasia said to Mrs. Crookshank when they were fighting over Harry. We’ll aim to broadcast information about other aspects of life — foreign affairs in particular — and by so doing give various groups of people an understanding of each other. We’ll have debates regularly, lectures, soirées , Question Time, Symposium, a Prestigious Periodical, Colloquium, Discussion, Summer School, Weekends, and Information Please for the Half-Guinea Regions. This society will be a great asset to the cause of wide-ranging culture and peace. This type of society is called a Rotary. Cultured people such as the Earl are involved with the Rotary …

— And sailors …

— Let on you don’t hear her at all, Nóróg …

— Yep , Dotie. I will. But that’s a good example of the sort of opinion that has to be obliterated by the shining light of the Rotary. Caitríona is not the only one who has a mind like that. If she were, one wouldn’t mind, but the perception is quite common. Sailors are an interesting group. Only a narrow uncultivated mind would criticize them …

— Only for those knives they have, Nóróg …

— De grâce , Dotie. That’s another perception that has to be abolished …

— Who else will be in Rotary, Nóróg?

— I’m not exactly sure yet. Yourself, Dotie. The Big Master. Peadar the Pub. Siúán the Shop …

— The poet …

— The devil pierce him, the cheeky brat …

— … But you haven’t read The Golden Stars , Nóróg?

— No infernal odds, old man! You won’t be accepted. Honest! You are decadent! …

— Bríd Terry should be admitted. She was at the pictures in Brightcity once …

— Faith then, I was there myself with the young fellow, the time we bought the colt …

— Hold on now. I’m a writer …

— You can’t be admitted. If you’re admitted we’ll rip the graveyard apart. You insulted Columkille.

— … It’s no use reading it. I won’t listen to your Setting of the Sun. Honest! I won’t … It’s no use pressing me: I won’t listen. I have a very liberal mind, but nevertheless a certain level of decorum has to be maintained … I’m a woman … I won’t. Honest! … You won’t be admitted. Your work is Joycean … You won’t change my mind. I’ll not listen to The Setting of the Sun . You have a low-down mind to have written a thing like that … You’re working on The Dream of the Dinosaur … I won’t listen. The Dream of the Dinosaur . A right Joycean galoot. 12You’re a very low specimen of humanity … You won’t be admitted till you learn every word of the Sixty-One Sermons off by heart …

— I propose that the Frenchman be admitted. He’s an enthusiastic Gael. He’s flat out learning the language …

— He’s writing a thesis on the canine dental consonants in the Half-Guinea dialect. He says their gums are blunt enough by now to have a learned study carried out on their sounds …

— The Institute thinks he has learned too much Irish — of the kind that has not been dead for the prescribed period — and as there’s a suspicion that a few of his words are “Revival Irish,” he has to unlearn every syllable before he’s qualified to carry out the study properly.

— He also intends to collect and preserve all the lost folklore so that future generations of Gaelcorpses will know what sort of life there was in the republic of Gaelcorpses in the past. He says there isn’t a traditional storyteller the like of Cóilí to be found this side of Russia now, and there will not be his like again. 13He thinks it will be easy to make a Folklore Museum of the Graveyard and that there will be no difficulty in getting a grant for doing that …

— Oh! But wasn’t that fat fellow fighting against Hitler …

— Let him be admitted …

— Thank you all, mes amis! Merci beaucoup …

— Hitler is against Rotary …

— If he is, then to hell with yourselves and your Rotary! …

— … A man who drank forty-two pints! Indeed, you would not be admitted, or in Alcoholics Anonymous, or in Mount Mellary. 14Nowhere but in “Drunkards Limited” …

— Faith then, I drank two score pints and two! …

— But Nóra Sheáinín used to drink twice that much on the sly …

— Shut your mouth, you little brat!

— Of course it’s not possible that you’d accept any of the One-Ear Breed. If you do, you’ll be stabbed …

— … How could you be admitted to Rotary when you don’t know your tables? …

— But I do. Listen. Twelve ones are twelve. Twelve twos …

— … How could you be accepted: a man who killed himself going to see Concannon? That was a very uncultured death …

— The bookseller will be admitted. He handled thousands of books …

— And the Insurance Agent. He used to do Crossword Puzzles …

— And Sweet-talking Stiofán. He was a good funeral-goer …

— … Why wouldn’t you be accepted? Isn’t your son married to a black! The blacks are a cultured people.

— At least, they’re more cultured than the Eyetalians that son of yours is married into …

— Caitríona Pháidín should be admitted. She has a roundtable at home …

— As well as Nóra Sheáinín’s chest …

— She knew Mannion the Counsellor well …

— And her son’s daughter is going to be a schoolmistress …

— Big Colm’s daughter should be admitted. She was in the Legion of Mary. She gives spiritual assistance to people …

— Easily known, with all her gossip! She hasn’t stopped talking since she cast anchor here …

— You’re insulting …

— If that’s the way, the Postmistress should be admitted. She was information and exploration officer in the Legion of Mary, and she can’t but have culture after all she has read …

— And Cite. Her son was a lance-corporal in the Legion, and she had a Credit Corporation herself …

— And Road-End. His old lady put a hearse under him for fear his poor bowels would be shaken …

— Upon my soul, then, as you say …

— Everybody in Road-End’s house was in the Legion …

— And his son is going out with the priest’s sister …

— His whole household stole my turf …

— And my lump-hammer …

— You’re insulting the faith. You’re black heretics …

— … You’ll be accepted. The Big Butcher was at your funeral, wasn’t he? …

— Tomás Inside would be a good Rotary man. He’s a friend of culture.

— And Big Brian. He was in Dublin …

— And Nell Pháidín. She meets many Rotary people. Lord Cockton …

— Permission to speak. Permission …

— Seáinín Liam will give the first lecture to Rotary. “My Heart” …