Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

He agreed to that; and the same Day, in the Evening, when we were just going to-Bed, he took my QUAKER by the Hand, and with a Kiss, told her, That we had been very kindly treated by her from the beginning of this Affair, and his Wife before, as she, (meaning me) had inform’d him; and that he thought himself bound to let her see, that she had oblig’d Friends who knew how to be grateful; that for his Part of the Obligation, he desir’d she wou’d accept of that , for an Acknowledgment in Part only, (putting the Gold into her Hand) and that his Wife wou’d talk with her about what farther he had to say to her; and upon that, not giving her time hardly to say thank ye , away he went up-Stairs, into our Bed-Chamber, leaving her confus’d, and not knowing what to say.

When he was gone, she began to make very handsome and obliging Representations of her Good-will to us both, but that it was without Expectation of Reward; that I had given her several valuable Presents before, and so indeed I had ; for, besides the Piece of Linnen which I had given her at first , I had given her a Suit [289] Suit : set. of Damask Table-Linnen , of the Linnen I bought for my Balls, viz . Three Table-cloths, and three Dozen of Napkins; and at another time, I gave her a little Necklace of Gold Beads, and the like ; but that is by the way ; but she mention’d them, I say ; and how she was oblig’d by me, on many other Occasions; that she was not in Condition to show her Gratitude any other way, not being able to make a suitable Return; and that now we took from her all Opportunity to ballance my former Friendship, [290] to ballance my former Friendship : to repay my earlier favour. and left her more in Debt than she was before: She spoke this in a very good kind of a Manner, in her own way , but which was very agreeable indeed, and had as much apparent Sincerity, and I verily believe as real, as was possible to be express’d; but I put a Stop to it, and bid her say no more, but accept of what my Spouse had given her, which was but in Part, as she had heard him say; and put it up , says I, and come and sit down here, and give me Leave to say something else to you, on the same Head, which my Spouse and I have settled between ourselves, in your Behalf . What dost Thee mean, says she ? and blush’d, and look’d surpriz’d, but did not stir; she was going to speak again, but I interrupted her, and told her, she shou’d make no more Apologies of any kind whatever, for I had better things than all this, to talk to her of; so I went on, and told her, That as she had been so friendly and kind to us on every Occasion; and that her House was the lucky Place where we came together; and that she knew I was from her own Mouth, acquainted in Part, with her Circumstances, we were resolv’d she shou’d be the better for us, as long as she liv’d: Then I told her what we had resolv’d to do for her; and that she had nothing more to do, but to consult with me, how it shou’d be effectually secur’d for her, distinct from any of the Effects which were her Husband’s; and that if her Husband did so supply her, that she cou’d live comfortably, and not want it for Bread, or other Necessaries, she shou’d not make Use of it, but lay up the Income of it, and add it every Year to the Principal, so to encrease the Annual Payment, which in time, and perhaps before she might come to want it, might double itself; that we were very willing whatever she shou’d so lay up, shou’d be to herself, and whoever she thought fit after her; but that the forty Pound a-Year, must return to our Family, after her Life; which we both wish’d might be long and happy.

Let no Reader wonder at my extraordinary Concern for this poor Woman; or at my giving my Bounty to her a Place in this Account; it is not, I assure you , to make a Pageantry of my Charity, or to value myself upon the Greatness of my Soul, that shou’d give in so profuse a Manner as this, which was above my Figure [291] Figure : (financial or social) position. , if my Wealth had been twice as much as it was; but there was another Spring from whence all flow’d, and ’tis on that Account I speak of it: Was it possible I cou’d think of a poor desolate Woman with four Children, and her Husband gone from her, and perhaps good for little if he had stay’d; I say , was I, that had tasted so deep of the Sorrows of such a kind of Widowhood, able to look on her, and think of her Circumstances, and not be touch’d in an uncommon Manner? No, No, I never look’d on her, and her Family, tho’ she was not left so helpless and friendless as I had been, without remembring my own Condition; when Amy was sent out to pawn or sell my Pair of Stays , to buy a Breast of Mutton, and a Bunch of Turnips; nor cou’d I look on her poor Children, tho’ not poor and perishing, like mine, without Tears; reflecting on the dreadful Condition that mine were reduc’d to, when poor Amy sent them all into their Aunt’s in Spittle-Fields , and run away from them: These were the Original Springs, or Fountain-Head, from whence my Affectionate Thoughts were mov’d to assist this poor Woman.

When a poor Debtor, having lain long in the Compter , or Ludgate , or the Kings-Bench , [292] the Compter, or Ludgate, or the Kings-Bench : three of London’s prisons, all used for debtors, Ludgate exclusively so. for Debt, afterwards get out, rises again in the World, and grows rich; such an one is a certain Benefactor to the Prisoners there, and perhaps to every Prison he passes by, as long as he lives; for he remembers the dark Days of his own Sorrow; and even those who never had the Experience of such Sorrows to stir up their Minds to Acts of Charity, would have the same charitable good Disposition, did they as sensibly remember what it is, that distinguishes them from others, by a more favourable and merciful Providence.

This, I say , was however, the Spring of my Concern for this honest friendly and grateful QUAKER, and as I had so plentiful a Fortune in the World, I resolv’d she should taste the Fruit of her kind Usage to me, in a manner that she cou’d not expect.

All the while I talk’d to her, I saw the Disorder of her Mind; the sudden Joy was too much for her, and she colour’d, trembled, chang’d, and at last grew pale, and was indeed near fainting; when she hastily rung a little Bell for her Maid, who coming in immediately, she beckon’d to her, for speak she cou’d not , to fill her a Glass of Wine, but she had no Breath to take it in, and was almost choak’d with that which she took in her Mouth; I saw she was ill, and assisted her what I cou’d, and with Spirits and things to smell too, just kept her from Fainting, when she beckon’d to her Maid to withdraw, and immediately burst out in crying, and that reliev’d her; when she recover’d herself a little, she flew to me, and throwing her Arms about my Neck, O! says she, thou hast almost kill’d me ; and there she hung, laying her Head in my Neck for half a quarter of an Hour, not able to speak, but sobbing like a Child that had been whipp’d.

I was very sorry, that I did not stop a little, in the middle of my Discourse, and make her drink a Glass of Wine, before it had put her Spirits [293] her Spirits : animal spirits. See note 257. into such a violent Motion; but it was too late, and it was ten to one odds, but that it had kill’d her.

But she came to herself at last, and began to say some very good things in return for my Kindness; I would not let her go on, but told her , I had more to say to her still, than all this, but that I would let it alone till another time; my meaning was, about the Box of Plate, [a] good part of which I gave her, and some I gave to Amy , for I had so much Plate, and some so large, that I thought if I let my Husband see it, he might be apt to wonder what Occasion I cou’d ever have for so much, and for Plate of such a kind too; as particularly, a great Cistern [294] Cistern : a large basin or case for holding bottles, frequently used at the dining table. for Bottles, which cost a hundred and twenty Pound, and some large Candlesticks, too big, for any ordinary Use: These I caus’d Amy to sell; in short, Amy sold above three hundred Pound’s-worth of Plate; what I gave the QUAKER, was worth above sixty Pounds, and I gave Amy above thirty Pound’s-worth, and yet I had a great-deal left for my Husband.