Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

Do! says Amy , Your Choice is fair and plain; here you may have a handsome, charming Gentleman, be rich, live pleasantly, and in Plenty; or refuse him, and want a Dinner, go in Rags, live in Tears; in short, beg and starve; you know this is the Case, Madam, says Amy , I wonder how you can say you know not what to do.

Well, Amy, says I , the Case is as you say, and I think verily I must yield to him; but then, said I, mov’d by Conscience , don’t talk any more of your Cant, of its being Lawful that I ought to Marry again, and that he ought to Marry again, and such Stuff as that; ’tis all Nonsence, says I, Amy , there’s nothing in it, let me hear no more of that; for if I yield, ’tis in vain to mince the Matter, I am a Whore, Amy , neither better nor worse, I assure you.

I don’t think so, Madam, by no means, says Amy , I wonder how you can talk so; and then she run on with her Argument of the Unreasonableness that a Woman should be oblig’d to live single, or a Man to live single in such Cases, as before: Well, Amy, said I , come let us dispute no more, for the longer I enter into that Part, the greater my Scruples will be; but if I let it alone, the Necessity of my present Circumstances is such, that I believe I shall yield to him, if he should importune me much about it, but I should be glad he would not do it at all, but leave me as I am.

As to that, Madam, you may depend, says Amy , he expects to have you for his Bedfellow to Night; I saw it plainly in his Management all Day, and at last he told you so too, as plain, I think, as he cou’d: Well, well, Amy, said I , I don’t know what to say, if he will, he must, I think, I don’t know how to resist such a Man, that has done so much for me: I don’t know how you shou’d, says Amy .

Thus Amy and I canvass’d the Business between us; the Jade prompted the Crime, which I had but too much Inclination to commit; that is to say, not as a Crime, for I had nothing of the Vice in my Constitution; my Spirits were far from being high; my Blood had no Fire in it, to kindle the Flame of Desire; but the Kindness and good Humour of the Man, and the Dread of my own Circumstances concurr’d to bring me to the Point, and I even resolv’d, before he ask’d, to give up my Virtue to him, whenever he should put it to the Question.

In this I was a double Offender, whatever he was; for I was resolv’d to commit the Crime, knowing and owning it to be a Crime; he, if it was true as he said, was fully perswaded it was Lawful, and in that Perswasion he took the Measures, and us’d all the Circumlocutions which I am going to speak of.

ABOUT two Hours after he was gone, came a Leaden-Hall [60] Leaden-Hall : a large London market where meat, poultry, fish, herbs, leather and other goods were sold. Basket-Woman, with a whole Load of good Things for the Mouth; the Particulars are not to the Purpose, and brought Orders to get Supper by Eight a-Clock; however I did not intend to begin to dress any thing, till I saw him; and he gave me time enough, for he came before Seven; so that Amy , who had gotten one to help her, got every thing ready in Time.

We sat down to Supper about Eight, and were indeed, very merry; Amy made us some Sport, for she was a Girl of Spirit and Wit; and with her Talk she made us laugh very often, and yet the Jade manag’d her Wit with all the good Manners imaginable.

But to shorten the Story; after Supper, he took me up into his Chamber, where Amy had made a good Fire, and there he pull’d out a great many Papers, and spread them upon a little Table, and then took me by the Hand, and after kissing me very much, he enter’d into a Discourse of his Circumstances, and of mine, how they agreed in several things exactly; for Example, That I was abandon’d of a Husband in the Prime of my Youth and Vigour, and he of a Wife in his Middle-Age; how the End of Marriage was destroy’d by the Treatment we had either of us receiv’d; and it wou’d be very hard that we should be ty’d by the Formality of the Contract, where the Essence of it was destroy’d: I interrupted him, and told him, There was a vast Difference between our Circumstances, and that in the most essential Part; namely, That he was Rich, and I was Poor; that he was above the World, and I infinitely below it; that his Circumstances were very easie, mine miserable, and this was an Inequality the most essential that cou’d be imagin’d: As to that, my Dear, says he , I have taken such Measures as shall make an Equality still; and with that, he shew’d me a Contract in Writing, wherein he engag’d himself to me; to cohabit constantly with me; to provide for me in all Respects as a Wife; and repeating in the Preamble, a long Account of the Nature and Reason of our living together, and an Obligation in the Penalty of 7000 l . never to abandon me; and at last, shew’d me a Bond for 500 l . to be paid to me, or to my Assigns, [61] my Assigns : those to whom the money is legally transferred; heirs. within three Months after his Death.

He read over all these things to me, and then in a most moving, affectionate Manner, and in Words not to be answer’d, he said , Now, my Dear, is this not sufficient? Can you object any thing against it? If not, as I believe you will not, then let us debate this Matter no longer; with that, he pull’d out a silk Purse, which had threescore Guineas in it, and threw them into my Lap, and concluded all the rest of his Discourse with Kisses, and Protestations of his Love; of which indeed, I had abundant Proof.

Pity humane Frailty, you that read of a Woman reduc’d in her Youth, and Prime, to the utmost Misery and Distress; and rais’d again, as above, by the unexpected and surprizing Bounty of a Stranger; I say pity her if she was not able, after all these things, to make any more Resistance.

However, I stood out a little longer still, I ask’d him, how he cou’d expect that I cou’d come into a Proposal of such Consequence, the very first Time it was mov’d to me? and that I ought (if I consented to it) to capitulate with him, that he should never upbraid me with Easiness, and consenting too soon: He said , No; but on the contrary, he would take it as a Mark of the greatest Kindness I could show him; then he went on to give Reasons why there was no Occasion to use the ordinary Ceremony of Delay; or to wait a reasonable Time of Courtship, which was only to avoid Scandal; but, as this was private, it had nothing of that Nature in it; that he had been courting me some time, by the best of Courtship, viz . doing Acts of Kindness to me; and that he had given Testimonies of his sincere Affection to me, by Deeds, not by flattering Trifles, and the usual Courtship of Words, which were often found to have very little Meaning; that he took me not as a Mistress, but as his Wife; and protested, it was clear to him he might lawfully do it, and that I was perfectly at Liberty; and assur’d me by all that it was possible for an Honest Man to say, that he would treat me as his Wife, as long as he liv’d; in a Word, he conquer’d all the little Resistance I intended to make; he protested he lov’d me above all the World, and begg’d I would for once believe him; that he had never deceiv’d me, and never would, but would make it his Study to make my Life comfortable and happy, and to make me forget the Misery I had gone through: I stood still a-while, and said nothing, but seeing him eager for my Answer, I smil’d, and looking up at him; and must I then, says I , say Yes, at first asking? Must I depend upon your Promise? Why then, said I , upon the Faith of that Promise, and in the Sence of that inexpressible Kindness you have shown me, you shall be oblig’d, and I will be wholly yours to the End of my Life; and with that, I took his Hand which held me by the Hand, and gave it a Kiss.