Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

However, he said no more then; but when Amy was gone, he walk’d about the Room, and look’d at every thing, and taking me by the Hand, he kiss’d me, and spoke a great many kind, affectionate things to me indeed; as of his Measures for my Advantage, and what he wou’d do to raise me again in the World; told me, that my Afflictions, and the Conduct I had shown in bearing them to such an Extremity, had so engag’d him to me, that he valued me infinitely above all the Women in the World; that tho’ he was under such Engagements that he cou’d not Marry me, [his Wife and he had been parted, for some Reasons, which make too long a Story to intermix with mine] yet that he wou’d be every thing else that a Woman cou’d ask in a Husband, and with that he kiss’d me again, and took me in his Arms, but offer’d not the least uncivil Action to me, and told me, he hop’d I would not deny him all the Favours he should ask, because he resolv’d to ask nothing of me but what it was fit for a Woman of Virtue and Modesty, for such he knew me to be, to yield.

I confess, the terrible Pressure of my former Misery, the Memory of which lay heavy upon my Mind, and the surprizing Kindness with which he had deliver’d me, and withal, the Expectations of what he might still do for me, were powerful things, and made me have scarce the Power to deny him any thing he wou’d ask; however, I told him thus, with an Air of Tenderness too, that he had done so much for me, that I thought I ought to deny him nothing, only I hop’d, and depended upon him, that he wou’d not take the Advantage of the infinite Obligations I was under to him, to desire any thing of me, the yielding to which, would lay me lower in his Esteem than I desir’d to be; that as I took him to be a Man of Honour, so I knew he could not like me the better for doing any thing that was below a Woman of Honesty and Good Manners to do.

He told me, that he had done all this for me, without so much as telling me what Kindness or real Affection he had for me; that I might not be under any Necessity of yielding to him in any thing, for want of Bread; and he would no more oppress my Gratitude now, than he would my Necessity before, nor ask any thing, supposing he would stop his Favours, or withdraw his Kindness, if he was deny’d; it was true, he said, he might tell me more freely his Mind now, than before, seeing I had let him see that I accepted his Assistance, and saw that he was sincere in his Design of serving me; that he had gone thus far to shew me that he was kind to me, but that now he would tell me, that he lov’d me, and yet wou’d demonstrate that his Love was both honourable, and that what he shou’d desire, was what he might honestly ask, and I might honestly grant.

I answer’d, That within those two Limitations, I was sure I ought to deny him nothing, and I should think myself not ungrateful only, but very unjust, if I shou’d; so he said no more, but I observ’d he kiss’d me more, and took me in his Arms in a kind of familiar Way, more than usual, and which once or twice put me in Mind of my Maid Amy’s Words; and yet, I must acknowlege, I was so overcome with his Goodness to me in those many kind things he had done, that I not only was easie at what he did, and made no Resistance, but was inclin’d to do the like, whatever he had offered to do: But he went no farther than what I have said, nor did he offer so much as to sit down on the Bed-side with me, but took his Leave, said he lov’d me tenderly, and would convince me of it by such Demonstrations as should be to my Satisfaction: I told him, I had a great deal of Reason to believe him; that he was full Master of the whole House, and of me, as far as was within the Bounds we had spoken of, which I believ’d he would not break; and ask’d him if he wou’d not Lodge there that Night.

He said, he cou’d not well stay that Night, Business requiring him in London , but added, smiling, that he wou’d come the next Day, and take a Night’s Lodging with me. I press’d him to stay that Night, and told him, I should be glad a Friend so valuable should be under the same Roof with me; and indeed, I began at that time not only to be much oblig’d to him, but to love him too, and that in a Manner that I had not been acquainted with myself.

O let no Woman slight the Temptation that being generously deliver’d from. Trouble, is to any Spirit furnish’d with Gratitude and just Principles: This Gentleman had freely and voluntarily deliver’d me from Misery, from Poverty, and Rags; he had made me what I was, and put me into a Way to be even more than I ever was, namely, to live happy and pleas’d, and on his Bounty I depended: What could I say to this Gentleman when he press’d me to yield to him, and argued the Lawfullness of it? But of that in its Place.

I press’d him again to stay that Night, and told him it was the first compleatly happy Night that I had ever had in the House in my Life, and I should be very sorry to have it be without his Company, who was the Cause and Foundation of it all; that we would be innocently merry, but that it could never be without him; and, in short, I courted him so, that he said, he cou’d not deny me, but he wou’d take his Horse, and go to London , do the Business he had to do, which, it seems, was to pay a Foreign Bill [54] a Foreign Bill : the principal means before the invention of the cheque for settling foreign accounts. A bill of exchange is an agreement in writing to pay a certain sum of money on a future date (or on demand, if so agreed). The buyer of the bill pays the drawer of the bill (i.e., the moneylender, who ‘draws’ the bill) a sum of money and obtains the bill of exchange, which he then sends to the person to whom he owes money. That person presents the bill to the drawee (usually a financial correspondent of the drawer), who ‘accepts’ the bill, that is, agrees to pay the stipulated amount. If (as sometimes happens) the drawee refuses to honour the bill, it is said to be ‘protested’, and the unpaid bill, with the formal ‘protest’, is then returned to the original buyer. As protested bills meant a great deal of financial inconvenience and embarrassment, Roxana’s landlord would naturally go to some trouble to avoid a protest. There were also inland bills of exchange, which functioned in much the same way as foreign bills, but were usually for smaller amounts and did not have the same standing in law. that was due that Night, and wou’d else be protested; and that he wou’d come back in three Hours at farthest, and Sup with me, but bade me get nothing there, for since I was resolv’d to be merry, which was what he desir’d above all things, he wou’d send me something from London , and we will make it a Wedding Supper, my Dear, says he , and with that Word, took me in his Arms; and kiss’d me so vehemently, that I made no question but he intended to do every thing else that Amy had talk’d of.

I started a little at the Word Wedding : What do ye mean? to call it by such a Name, says I ; adding, We will have a Supper, but t’other is impossible, as well on your side as mine; he laugh’d, Well, says he, you shall call it what you will, but it may be the same thing, for I shall satisfie you, it is not so impossible as you make it.

I don’t understand you, said I, have not I a Husband, and you a Wife?

Well, well, says he, we will talk of that after Supper; so he rose up, gave me another Kiss, and took his Horse for London .

This kind of Discourse had fir’d my Blood, I confess, and I knew not what to think of it; it was plain now that he intended to lye with me, but how he would reconcile it to a legal thing, like a Marriage, that I cou’d not imagine: We had both of us us’d Amy with so much Intimacy, and trusted her with every thing, having such unexampled Instances of her Fidelity, that he made no Scruple to kiss me, and say all these things to me before her, nor had he car’d one Farthing if I would have let him Lay with me, to have had Amy there too all Night. When he was gone, Well, Amy , says I, what will all this come to now? I am all in a Sweat at him: Come to, Madam, says Amy , I see what it will come to, I must put you to-Bed to-Night together: Why you wou’d not be so impudent, you Jade you, says I , wou’d you? Yes, I wou’d, says she, with all my Heart, and think you both as honest as ever you were in your Lives.