Joris-Karl Huysmans - Down There (Là-Bas)

"Finally, the apparitions, doppelgänger, bilocations-to speak thus of the spirits-that terrified antiquity, have not ceased to manifest themselves. It would be difficult to prove that the experiments carried on for three years by Dr. Crookes in the presence of witnesses were cheats. If he has been able to photograph visible and tangible spectres, we must recognize the veracity of the mediæval thaumaturges. Incredible, of course-and wasn't hypnotism, possession of one soul by another which could dedicate it to crime-incredible only ten years ago?

"We are groping in shadow, that is sure. But Des Hermies hit the bull's-eye when he remarked, 'It is less important to know whether the modern pharmaceutic sacrileges are potent, than to study the motives of the Satanists and fallen priests who prepare them.'

"Ah, if there were some way of getting acquainted with Canon Docre, of insinuating oneself into his confidence, perhaps one would attain clear insight into these questions. I learned long ago that there are no people interesting to know except saints, scoundrels, and cranks. They are the only persons whose conversation amounts to anything. Persons of good sense are necessarily dull, because they revolve over and over again the tedious topics of everyday life. They are the crowd, more or less intelligent, but they are the crowd, and they give me a pain. Yes, but who will put me in touch with this monstrous priest?" and, as he poked the fire, Durtal said to himself, "Chantelouve, if he would, but he won't. There remains his wife, who used to be well acquainted with Docre. I must interrogate her and find out whether she still corresponds with him and sees him."

The entrance of Mme. Chantelouve into his reflections saddened him. He took out his watch and murmured, "What a bore. She will come again, and again I shall have to-if only there were any possibility of convincing her of the futility of the carnal somersaults! In any case, she can't be very well pleased, because, to her frantic letter soliciting a meeting, I responded three days later by a brief, dry note, inviting her to come here this evening. It certainly was lacking in lyricism, too much so, perhaps."

He rose and went into his bedroom to make sure that the fire was burning brightly, then he returned and sat down, without even arranging his room as he had the other times. Now that he no longer cared for this woman, gallantry and self-consciousness had fled. He awaited her without impatience, his slippers on his feet.

"To tell the truth, I have had nothing pleasant from Hyacinthe except that kiss we exchanged when her husband was only a few feet away. I certainly shall not again find her lips a-flame and fragrant. Here her kiss is insipid."

Mme. Chantelouve rang earlier than usual.

"Well," she said, sitting down. "You wrote me a nice letter."

"How's that?"

"Confess frankly that you are through with me."

He denied this, but she shook her head.

"Well," he said, "what have you to reproach me with? Having written you only a short note? But there was someone here, I was busy and I didn't have time to assemble pretty speeches. Not having set a date sooner? I told you our relation necessitates precautions, and we can't see each other very often. I think I gave you clearly to understand my motives-"

"I am so stupid that I probably did not understand them. You spoke to me of 'family reasons,' I believe."

"Yes."

"Rather vague."

"Well, I couldn't go into detail and tell you that-"

He stopped, asking himself whether the time had come to break decisively with her, but he remembered that he wanted her aid in getting information about Docre.

"That what? Tell me."

He shook his head, hesitating, not to tell her a lie, but to insult and humiliate her.

"Well," he went on, "since you force me to do it, I will confess, at whatever cost, that I have had a mistress for several years-I add that our relations are now purely amical-"

"Very well," she interrupted, "your family reasons are sufficient."

"And then," he pursued, in a lower tone, "if you wish to know all, well-I have a child by her."

"A child! Oh, you poor dear." She rose. "Then there is nothing for me to do but withdraw."

But he seized her hands, and, at the same time satisfied with the success of his deception and ashamed of his brutality, he begged her to stay awhile. She refused. Then he drew her to him, kissed her hair, and cajoled her. Her troubled eyes looked deep into his.

"Ah, then!" she said. "No, let me undress."

"Not for the world!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, the scene of the other night beginning all over again," he murmured, sinking, overwhelmed, into a chair. He felt borne down, burdened by an unspeakable weariness.

He undressed beside the fire and warmed himself while waiting for her to get to bed. When they were in bed she enveloped him with her supple, cold limbs.

"Now is it true that I am to come here no more?"

He did not answer, but understood that she had no intention of going away and that he had to do with a person of the staying kind.

"Tell me."

He buried his head in her breast to keep from having to answer.

"Tell me in my lips."

He beset her furiously, to make her keep silent, then he lay disabused, weary, happy that it was over. When they lay down again she put her arm about his neck and ran her tongue around in his mouth like an auger, but he paid little heed to caresses and remained feeble and pathetic. Then she bent over, reached him, and he groaned.

"Ah!" she exclaimed suddenly, rising, "at last I have heard you cry!"

He lay, broken in body and spirit, incapable of thinking two thoughts in sequence. His brain seemed to whir, undone, in his skull.

He collected himself, however, rose and went into the other room to dress and let her do the same.

Through the drawn portière separating the two rooms he saw a little pinhole of light which came from the wax candle placed on the mantel opposite the curtain. Hyacinthe, going back and forth, would momentarily intercept this light, then it would flash out again.

"Ah," she said, "my poor darling, you have a child."

"The shot struck home," said he to himself, and aloud, "Yes, a little girl."

"How old?"

"She will soon be six," and he described her as flaxen-haired, lively, but in very frail health, requiring multiple precautions and constant care.

"You must have very sad evenings," said Mme. Chantelouve, in a voice of emotion, from behind the curtain.

"Oh yes! If I were to die tomorrow, what would become of those two unfortunates?"

His imagination took wing. He began himself to believe the mother and her. His voice trembled. Tears very nearly came to his eyes.

"He is unhappy, my darling is," she said, raising the curtain and returning, clothed, into the room. "And that is why he looks so sad, even when he smiles!"

He looked at her. Surely at that moment her affection was not feigned. She really clung to him. Why, oh, why, had she had to have those rages of lust? If it had not been for those they could probably have been good comrades, sin moderately together, and love each other better than if they wallowed in the sty of the senses. But no, such a relation was impossible with her, he concluded, seeing those sulphurous eyes, that ravenous, despoiling mouth.

She had sat down in front of his writing table and was playing with a penholder. "Were you working when I came in? Where are you in your history of Gilles de Rais?"

"I am getting along, but I am hampered. To make a good study of the Satanism of the Middle Ages one ought to get really into the environment, or at least fabricate a similar environment, by becoming acquainted with the practitioners of Satanism all about us-for the psychology is the same, though the operations differ." And looking her straight in the eye, thinking the story of the child had softened her, he hazarded all on a cast, "Ah! if your husband would give me the information he has about Canon Docre!"