Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 2)

“But how are we going to help him get some rootless water?” Pig asked.

“Stand on my left and be my Sustainer Star,” Monkey said to him, then told Friar Sand, “stand on my right as my Straightener Star while I help him to get some rootless water.”

The splendid Great Sage then paced out a magic pattern and said the words of a spell. Soon a dark cloud appeared to their East that came closer till it was over their heads. “Great Sage,” called a voice from it, “Ao Guang, the Dragon King of the Eastern Sea, is here to call on you.”

“I wouldn't have troubled you if it hadn't been important,” Monkey said. “Could I ask you to help by giving the king here some rootless water to take his medicine with?”

“When you summoned me, Great Sage,” the dragon king replied, “you said nothing about water. I have only come by myself. I haven't brought any rain-making equipment, to say nothing of wind, clouds, thunder and lightning. So how can I make it rain?”

“There'll be no call for wind, clouds, thunder or lightning this time,” Monkey said, “and we don't need much rain either. We just need enough water for someone to take his medicine with.”

“In that case I'll do a couple of sneezes and spit out some saliva,” the dragon king said. “That ought to be enough for him to take his medicine.”

“Terrific,” said Monkey, delighted. “Don't waste a moment. Do it as soon as you can.”

The ancient old dragon gradually brought his dark cloud down till it was just over the palace, though he kept himself entirely concealed. He spat out a mouthful of saliva that turned into timely rain, whereupon all the officials at court exclaimed, “Ten million congratulations, Your Majesty. Heaven is sending down timely rain.”

The king then ordered, “Take vessels out to hold the rain. All officials, whether inside or outside the palace and irrespective of their rank, must gather this sacred water to save our life.” Just watch as all the civil and military officials as well as the consorts, concubines, three thousand beauties, and eight hundred charming ladies-in-waiting of the three harems and the six compounds of the inner palace all stood there holding cups, dishes, bowls and plates to catch the timely rain. Up in the sky the ancient dragon so controlled his saliva that all of it fell within the palace. After about two hours the dragon king took his leave of the Great Sage and went back to the sea. When the officials gathered all the cups, dishes, bowls and plates together they found that some had caught one or two drops of water, some three to five, and some none at all. When it was all put together there were a little over three dishes full of it, and this was all presented to the king. Indeed:

The throne hall was filled with exquisite fragrance;

Fine scents were wafting round the Son of Heaven's court.

The king then dismissed the Master of the Law and had the Black Gold Elixir and the timely rain carried into the inner quarters, where he took the first pill with the first dish of timely rain, then the second pill with the second dish. In three efforts he finished all three pills and all three dishfuls. Soon afterwards there was a noise from his stomach like the endless turning of a windlass. He sent for his chamber pot and evacuated four or five times before taking some rice porridge and collapsing on his dragon bed. When two of his consorts inspected the chamber pot they saw it contained huge amounts of feces and mucus, and amid it all a ball of glutinous rice.

“The root of the disorder has come out,” the consorts reported, going over to the royal bed. The king was very pleased to hear this and ate some rice. A little later his chest felt eased and his natural forces and blood were in harmonious balance once more. He was full of vigor and the strength came back to his legs, so he rose from his bed, dressed in his court clothes and went into the throne hall, where he greeted the Tang Priest by prostrating himself. The venerable elder returned this courtesy as quickly as he could.

When this had been done the king helped Sanzang to his feet with his own hands and told his courtiers, “Write a note at once sending our personal and respectful greetings and have an official go to invite the three illustrious disciples of the Master of the Law to come here. Meanwhile the Eastern hall of the palace is to be opened up and the department of foreign relations is to arrange a banquet of thanksgiving.” Having been given these commands the officials carried them out. The scribes wrote out the note and the caterers prepared the meal. A state is indeed strong enough to overturn a mountain, and everything was done in an instant.

When Pig saw the officials come to deliver the note he was beside himself with delight. “Brother,” he said, “it really must be miracle medicine. From the way they're coming to thank you you must have pulled it off.”

“You've got it all wrong, brother,” said Friar Sand. “As the saying goes, 'One man's good fortune affects his whole household.' We two made up the pills, so we take a share of the credit. So just enjoy yourself and stop talking.” Hey! Just look at the three brothers as they all happily go straight to the palace, where all the officials received them and led them to the Eastern hall.

Here they saw the Tang Priest with the king and his ministers and the banquet all set out ready. Brother Monkey, Pig and Friar Sand all chanted a “na-a-aw” of respect to their master, after which the officials all came in. In the best place there were set out four tables of vegetarian food. It was the sort of banquet at which there are ten times as many dishes as you can eat. In front of these tables was one of meat dishes, and on this too you could see ten dishes of rare delicacies while you ate one. To either side four or five hundred more single tables were most neatly set out.

As the ancients had it:

“A hundred rare delicacies,

A thousand goblets of fine wine,

Rich cream and yogurt,

Fat, red meat like brocade.”

Precious and many-coloured decorations,

Heavy fragrances of fruit.

Huge sugar dragons coil round sweet lions and immortals:

Ingots of cake draw furnaces escorted by phoenixes.

For meat there was pork and mutton, goose, chicken, duck and fish;

For vegetables, bamboo shoots, beansprouts, fungus and button mushrooms.

Delicious noodles in soup,

Translucent creamy sweets,

Succulent millet,

Fresh wild rice congee,

Pungent, tasty soup with rice noodles,

Dishes in which sweetness vied with beauty.

Monarch and subjects raised their cups as the diners took their seats;

Officials seated by rank slowly passed the jugs.

Holding a cup in his hand the king first seated the Tang Priest, who said, “As a monk I may not drink liquor.”

“This is alcohol-free wine,” the king said. “Could you not drink one cup of this, Master of the Law?”

“But wine is the first prohibition for us monks,” said Sanzang. The king felt awkward.

“If you may not drink, Master of the Law, how can I congratulate you?”

“My three badly-behaved disciples will drink on my behalf,” Sanzang replied. The king then happily passed the golden goblet to Monkey, who took it, made a courteous gesture to the assembly, and downed a cupful. Seeing how cheerfully he downed it the king offered him another cup. Monkey did not decline it but drank again.

“Have a third goblet,” said the king with a smile, and Monkey accepted and drank for a third time. The king then ordered that the cup be refilled and said, “Have another to make it four for the four seasons.”

Pig, who was standing beside Monkey, had to put up with the saliva gurgling inside him as the wine would not come his way; and now that the king was pressing Monkey so hard to drink he started to shout, “Your Majesty, that medicine you took owes something to me. Those pills include horse-” When Monkey heard this he was terrified that the idiot was going to give the game away, so he handed Pig the cup. Pig took the cup, drank and stopped talking.