Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 2)

“I've got one of them,” the senior demon said.

“Which one is that?” asked the second demon with delight.

“Sun the Novice,” the senior demon replied.

“Where have you got him?” the second demon chief said.

“In my stomach,” said the senior demon, “I swallowed him.”

“Elder brother,” said the third demon chief with horror, “I forgot to tell you that Sun the Novice wasn't worth eating.”

“I'm delicious,” said the Great Sage from inside the demon's stomach, “and I'll stop you from ever feeling hungry again.”

This caused the junior devils such a shock that they reported, “This is terrible, Your Senior Majesty. Sun the Novice is talking inside your stomach.”

“That doesn't frighten me,” said the senior demon. “If I'm clever enough to catch him do you think I'm not clever enough to deal with him? Make me some hot salty water at once. I'll pour it into my stomach, vomit him out, and have him fried at my leisure to eat as a snack with some drinks.”

The junior devils soon had ready half a bowl of hot salty water that the old demon drained in one, filling his mouth. He then really did vomit, but the Great Sage, who had taken root in his stomach, did not even move. The monster then pressed his throat and vomited again till his head was spinning, his eyes in a daze and his gallbladder split, but still Monkey would not be shifted. By now the senior demon was gasping for breath.

“Sun the Novice,” he called, “won't you come out?”

“Not yet,” Monkey replied. “I don't want to come out now.”

“Why not?” the old demon asked.

“You really don't understand, evil spirit,” said Monkey. “Ever since I've been a monk I've had scant food and clothing. Although it's autumn now and getting cool I'm still only wearing a thin tunic. But it's warm in your stomach and there are no drafts down here. I think I'll spend the winter here before coming out.”

When the evil spirits heard this they all said, “Your Majesty, Sun the Novice wants to spend the winter in your stomach.”

“If he wants to spend the winter there I'll take to meditation and use magic to shift him,” the senior demon said. “I won't eat anything all winter. The Protector of the Horses will starve to death.”

“You just don't understand, my boy,” the Great Sage said. “I came via Guangzhou when I started escorting the Tang Priest and I've got a folding cooking pan with me that I brought in here to cook myself a mixed grill. I'll take my time enjoying your liver, bowels, stomach and lungs. They'll be enough to keep me going till spring.”

“Brother,” said the second demon chief with shock, “that ape would do it too.”

“Brother,” said the third demon, “perhaps he can eat up some bits and pieces, but I don't know where is he going to set up his pan.”

“The collar bone is an ideal stand,” replied Monkey.

“This is terrible,” said the third demon. “If he sets up his pan and lights a fire won't the smoke get into your nose and make you sneeze?”

“That'll be no problem,” said Monkey with a laugh. “I'll use my gold-banded cudgel to push a hole through his skull. That'll be a skylight for me and serve as a chimney too.”

The old demon heard this and was most alarmed despite saying that he was not afraid. All he could do was to summon up his courage and call, “Don't be scared, brothers. Bring me some of that drugged wine. When I down a few goblets of that the drugs will kill the monkey.”

At this Monkey smiled to himself and thought, “When I made havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago I drank the Jade Emperor's wine and ate Lord Lao Zi's elixir, the Queen Mother's peaches, the marrow of phoenix bones and dragon livers. I've eaten everything. What kind of drugged wine could do me any harm?”

By then the junior devils had strained two jugfuls of drugged wine, a goblet of which they handed to the senior demon chief, who took it in his hands.

Monkey, who could smell it from inside the demon's belly, called out, “Don't give it to him!” The splendid Great Sage then tipped his head back and turned it into the bell of a trumpet that he placed wide open below the demon's throat. The demon gulped the wine down noisily and Monkey noisily received it. The demon swallowed the second cupful and Monkey noisily drank that too. This went on till Monkey had drunk all of the seven or eight cupfuls that the demon downed.

“That's enough,” the demon said, putting the goblet down. “Normally my stomach feels as if it's on fire after a couple of cups of this wine,” he said, “but this time my face hasn't even gone red after seven or eight.”

Now the Great Sage was not a heavy drinker, so after taking these seven or eight cupfuls he started to act drunk in the demon's stomach, propping himself up, falling flat on his face, kicking about him, swinging on the demon's liver, doing headstands and somersaults, and dancing wildly. This caused the monster such unbearable pain that he collapsed.

If you don't know whether he lived or died listen to the explanation in the next installment.