William Maugham - Theatre

‘She never cared for that sort of thing before. It seems so strange that she should suddenly take to dancing till two in the morning in the horrible atmosphere of those places.’

‘It’s the only exercise she gets. I can’t expect her to put on shorts and come for a run with me in the park.’

‘I think you ought to know that people are beginning to talk. It’s doing her reputation a lot of harm.’

‘What the devil d’you mean by that?’

‘Well, it’s absurd that at her age she should make herself so conspicuous with a young boy.’

He looked at her for a moment without understanding, and when he caught what she meant he laughed loud.

‘Tom? Don’t be such a fool, Dolly.’

‘I’m not a fool. I know what I’m talking about. When anyone’s as well known as Julia and she’s always about with the same man naturally people talk.’

‘But Tom’s just as much my friend as hers. You know very well that I can’t take Julia out dancing. I have to get up every morning at eight to get my exercise in before my day’s work. Hang it all, I do know something about human nature after thirty years on the stage. Tom’s a very good type of clean honest English boy and he’s by way of being a gentleman. I dare say he admires Julia, boys of that age often think they’re in love with women older than themselves, well, it won’t do him any harm, it’ll do him good; but to think Julia could possibly give him a thought—my poor Dolly, you make me laugh.’

‘He’s boring, he’s dull, he’s common and he’s a snob.’

‘Well, if you think he’s all that doesn’t it strike you as rather strange that Julia should be so wrapped up in him as you seem to think?’

‘Only a woman knows what a woman can do.’

‘That’s not a bad line, Dolly. We shall have you writing a play next. Now let’s get this straight. Can you look me in the face and tell me that you really think Julia is having an affair with Tom?’

She looked him in the face. Her eyes were anguished. For though at first she had only laughed at what was being said about Julia she had not been able altogether to suppress the doubts that soon assailed her; she remembered a dozen little incidents that at the time had escaped her notice, but when considered in cold blood looked terribly suspicious. She had suffered such torture as she had never thought it possible to endure. Proof? She had no proof; she only had an intuition that she could not mistrust; she wanted to say yes, the impulse to do so was almost uncontrollable; she controlled it. She could not give Julia away. The fool might go and tell her and Julia would never speak to her again. He might have Julia watched and catch her out. No one could tell what might happen if she told the truth.

‘No, I don’t.’

Her eyes filled with tears and began to roll down her massive cheeks. Michael saw her misery. He thought her ridiculous, but he realized that she was suffering and in the kindness of his heart sought to console her.

‘I was sure you didn’t really. You know how fond Julia is of you, you mustn’t be jealous, you know, if she has other friends.’

‘God knows I don’t grudge her anything,’ she sobbed. ‘She’s been so different to me lately. She’s been so cold. I’ve been such a loyal friend to her, Michael.’

‘Yes, dear, I know you have.’

‘Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my King…’

‘Oh, come now, it’s not so bad as that. You know, I’m not the sort of chap to talk about his wife to other people. I always think that’s such frightfully bad form. But you know, honestly you don’t know the first thing about Julia. Sex doesn’t mean a thing to her. When we were first married it was different, and I don’t mind telling you after all these years that she made life a bit difficult for me. I don’t say she was a nymphomaniac or anything like that, but she was inclined to be rather tiresome sometimes. Bed’s all very well in its way, but there are other things in life. But after Roger was born she changed completely. Having a baby settled her. All those instincts went into her acting. You’ve read Freud, Dolly; what does he call it when that happens?’

‘Oh, Michael, what do I care about Freud?’

‘Sublimation. That’s it. I often think that’s what’s made her such a great actress. Acting’s a whole time job and if you want to be really good you’ve got to give your whole self to it. I’m so impatient with the public who think actors and actresses lead a devil of a life. We haven’t got the time for that sort of nonsense.’

What Michael was saying made her so angry that she recovered her self-control.

‘But Michael, it may be that you and I know that there’s nothing wrong in Julia’s going about all the time with that miserable little pip-squeak. It’s so bad for her reputation. After all, one of your great assets has been your exemplary married life. Everyone has looked up to you. The public has loved to think of you as such a devoted and united couple.’

‘And so we are, damn it.’

Dolly was growing impatient.

‘But I tell you people are talking. You can’t be so stupid as not to see that they’re bound to. I mean, if Julia had had one flagrant affair after another, nobody would take any notice, but after the life she’s led for so many years suddenly to break out like this—naturally everybody starts chattering. It’s so bad for business.’

Michael gave her a swift glance. He smiled a little.

‘I see what you mean, Dolly. I dare say there’s something in what you say and in the circumstances I feel that you have a perfect right to say it. You were awfully good to us when we started and I should hate to see you let down now. I’ll tell you what, I’ll buy you out.’

‘Buy me out?’

Dolly straightened herself and her face, a moment ago rumpled and discomposed, hardened. She was seized with indignation. He went on suavely.

‘I see your point. If Julia’s gadding about all night it must tell on her performances. That’s obvious. She’s got a funny sort of public, a lot of old ladies come to our matinées because they think she’s such a sweet good woman. I don’t mind admitting that if she gets herself unpleasantly talked about it might have some effect on the takings. I know Julia well enough to know that she wouldn’t put up with any interference with her liberty of action. I’m her husband and I’ve got to put up with it. But you’re in a different position altogether. I shouldn’t blame you if you wanted to get out while the going was good.’

Dolly was alert now. She was far from a fool and when it came to business was a match for Michael. She was angry, but her anger gave her self-control.

‘I should have thought after all these years, Michael, that you knew me better than that. I thought it my duty to warn you, but I’m prepared to take the rough with the smooth. I’m not the woman to desert a sinking ship. I dare say I can afford to lose my money better than you can.’

It gave her a great deal of satisfaction to see the disappointment that was clearly expressed on Michael’s face. She knew how much money meant to him and she had a hope that what she had said would rankle. He pulled himself together quickly.

‘Well, think it over, Dolly.’

She gathered up her bag and they parted with mutual expressions of affection and good will.

‘Silly old bitch,’ he said when the door was closed behind her.

‘Pompous old ass,’ she hissed as she went down in the lift.

But when she got into her magnificent and very expensive car and drove back to Montagu Square she could not hold back the heavy, painful tears that filled her eyes. She felt old, lonely, unhappy, and desperately jealous.