Anchee Min - Empress Orchid

The girl who walked next to me wore a heavily laced headpiece. It was in the shape of a flying goose and was draped with pearls and diamonds. Yellow and vermilion threads were braided in patterns. The headpiece reminded me of those worn in Chinese operas.

As a shoemaker I naturally paid attention to what the girls wore on their feet. I used to think that if I knew nothing else, I knew shoes. But what I saw put my knowledge to shame. Every pair of shoes the girls wore was encrusted with pearls, jade, diamonds and embroidered patterns of lotus, plum, magnolia, Buddha’s hand and peach flower. The sides of the shoes were crowded with the symbols of fortune and longevity, fish and butterflies. As Manchu ladies, we didn’t bind our feet as Chinese ladies did, but we didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be fashionable, which was why we wore extra-high platform shoes. The intent was to make our feet look smaller, like Chinese feet.

My feet began to feel sore. We passed through glades of bamboo and larger trees. The path became narrower and the staircases steeper with each turn. Chief Eunuch Shim hurried us along, and all of the girls grew short of breath. Just when I thought we had reached a dead end, a grand view unexpectedly revealed itself. I held my breath as a sea of golden roofs suddenly spread out before me. I could see the massive gatehouses of the Forbidden City in the distance.

“Where you are standing is called Prospect Hill.” Chief Eunuch Shim rested his hands on his waist and drew in big breaths. “It is the highest spot in all of Peking. Ancient feng shui experts believed that this area possessed the most vital energy and spirits of wind and water. Girls, take a moment to remember this, because most of you will never get a chance to see this again. We are lucky to have a clear day. The sandstorms from the Gobi Desert are resting.”

Following Chief Eunuch Shim’s finger, I saw a white pagoda. “That Tibetan-style temple houses the spirits of the gods who have protected the Ch’ing Dynasty for generations. Be careful what you do, girls. Make sure you never distract or offend the spirits.”

On our way down the hill Shim took us along another path, which led to the Garden of Peace and Longevity. It was the first time I had seen real pippala trees. They were gigantic and their leaves were as green as fresh grass. I had seen pictures of them in Buddhist manuscripts and temple frescoes. They were considered the symbol of Buddha and were rare. Here such trees, hundreds of years old, were everywhere. Their leaves draped the ground like green curtains. In the garden, large, beautiful stones had been arranged in a pattern pleasing to the eye. When I raised my eyes, I saw magnificent pavilions hidden in the cypresses.

After many turns I lost my sense of direction. We must have passed about twenty pavilions before we were finally led to a bluish one carved with plum flowers. It had a snail-shaped roof inlaid with blue tiles.

“The Pavilion of Winter Blossom,” Chief Eunuch Shim pointed out. “Here lives the Grand Empress Lady Jin. You are going to meet both Majesties soon.”

We were told to sit on stone benches while Shim gave us a quick lesson in the expected etiquette. Each of us was to speak a simple line, wishing His and Her Majesties health and longevity. “After expressing the wish, remain silent and answer only when you are spoken to.”

Nervousness spread among us. One girl started to cry uncontrollably. She was immediately taken away by eunuchs. Another girl began mumbling to herself. She too was taken out.

I became aware of the constant presence of eunuchs. Most of the time they stood against the walls, silent and expressionless. Big Sister Fann had warned me that the experienced eunuchs were dreadful and that they fed on others’ misfortune. “The young ones are better,” she had said, “especially the newcomers, who are still innocent. The eunuchs’ nastiness doesn’t show until they reach adulthood, when they realize the significance of their loss.”

According to Big Sister Fann, the powerful eunuchs ran the Forbidden City. They were masters of intrigue. Because they had suffered a great deal, they had amazing endurance for pain and torture. The newcomers were beaten with whips daily. Before taking their boys to the palace, the parents of eunuchs purchased three pieces of cowhide. The new eunuchs would wrap the hide around their back and thighs to cover where the whip would land. The cowhide was nicknamed “the Real Buddha.”

Later on I would learn that the penalty for the most serious transgressions by the eunuchs was death by stifling. The punishment would be carried out in front of all the eunuchs. The convicted eunuch would be tied to a bench with his face covered with a piece of wet silk. The process was similar to mask-making. With everyone watching, the executioners would add wet cloths, layer after layer, while the victim struggled to breathe. The eunuch’s limbs would be held down until he ceased struggling.

During my early life in the Forbidden City, I cursed such punishments. I was appalled by their cruelty. Over the years my view gradually changed. I found the discipline a necessity. The eunuchs were capable of grand crimes and equal cruelty. The anger they harbored was so uncontrollable that only death could contain it. In ancient times eunuchs had incited riots and worse. During the Chou Dynasty the eunuchs had burned down an entire palace.

According to Big Sister Fann, when a clever eunuch worked his way up and became the Imperial favorite, as Shim had, he would live his life under one person but above the nation. It was this possibility not only of survival but also of becoming a legend that yearly led more than fifty thousand poor families in China to send their boys to the capital.

From Big Sister Fann I had learned to identify the eunuchs’ status by the way they dressed, and it was now time to apply my knowledge. Those who held high positions wore velvet robes draped with fine jewelry and were served by apprentices. They had their own tea makers, dressers, messengers, accountants, and figurehead wives and concubines. They adopted children to carry on the family name and purchased property outside the Forbidden City. They became rich and ruled their households like emperors. When one famous eunuch found out that his wife was having an affair with a servant boy, he hacked her to pieces and fed her to his dog.

By now I was starving. The two hundred of us had been divided into groups of ten and then scattered to different corners of the garden. We sat or stood on wooden or stone platforms or large river-smooth rocks. Spread before us were man-made ponds dotted with floating lotus and rippled by rising koi. Between us were carved wood panels and stands of bamboo.

The eunuch who was responsible for my group had a bronze decoration on his hat and a quail on his chest. He reminded me of my brother Kuei Hsiang. The eunuch had a naturally rosy mouth and girlish features. He was skinny and seemed shy. He kept his distance from us, and his eyes constantly traveled between the girls and his superior, a eunuch who wore a white decoration on his hat and had an oriole on his chest.

“My name is Orchid.” Whispering, I went up to the skinny eunuch and introduced myself. “I am very thirsty, and I was wondering-”

“Shush!” He pressed his index finger to his lips nervously.

“What’s your name? How should I address you?” I continued.

“An-te-hai.”

“Well, An-te-hai, could I please have some water?”

He shook his head. “I can’t talk. Please don’t ask me questions.”

“I would stop if-”

“I am sorry.” He spun on his heels and quickly disappeared behind bamboo bushes.

How long could I stand like this? I looked around and heard the other girls’ stomachs grumbling.