Stewart Binns - Crusade

The fever had spread from Cahors, where hundreds died. When it came to St Cirq Lapopie, Ingigerd and Maria made sure that the people did not get too close to one another and families were told to eat in their own homes. But it made no difference. Within a month, the whole community had gone – more than eighty people. Maria died in the first week, but Ingigerd was almost the last to succumb, even though she was almost sixty years old and quite frail.

Lime pits were dug and used to bury the bodies, but the last few went unburied and Old Simon was too scared to go near the houses to lay them to rest.

‘That accounts for the human remains over there.’ Sweyn pointed to the main house. ‘That was Ingigerd’s chamber. What’s left of her is lying in the corner.’

It was about a week later that the human scavengers came. Wild men from the Central Massif, who had heard about the putrid fever, came and looted everything and then burned every building to the ground.

Old Simon had stayed in the forest and kept his distance. But just before she died, Ingigerd had sent the last fit person, a little boy no more than five years old, to him with a scroll, asking him to keep it until any of the family returned.

He now laid the scroll on the ground and walked away, repeating to himself, ‘Sorry, Mistress Adela, sorry.’

Sweyn went to retrieve the scroll and read it to us. It was written in Norse, Ingigerd’s native tongue, a language nobody in the Lot would understand, but one of several languages that Torfida had always insisted was spoken within their household.

I hope this message reaches one of you, one day. I told Old Simon to keep it under the stone where he hoards those boars’ tusks he likes to collect. I knew you would look there, if you found him dead.

A terrible plague has descended on us, here and all around us. Maria has already died and my time is not far off. This fever shows no mercy. We have heard that Emma and Edgiva and their families have been taken from us and, worst of all, our beautiful daughters, Gwyneth and Wulfhild, and all our grandchildren. What has happened to us is too much to bear. My only comfort is that with my death will come the end of my despair.

Sweyn had to stop. He sank to his knees in anguish, and Adela wailed and cursed God for taking her entire family away.

Edwin went to Sweyn and helped him to his feet while Estrith tried to comfort Adela. I quickly did some distressing arithmetic. Of Hereward and Torfida’s original extended family of eighteen, these four were now the only survivors – and each was childless. After all the years of peril they had lived through, six had died in a month, along with all their children. Who would now pass on the family’s heritage?

Sweyn regained his composure and finished Ingigerd’s message.

I pray that you all find what you so bravely search for and that there are many more adventures to add to the ones we shared together. The deeds to St Cirq Lapopie and our chest of silver are buried in the forest. Old Simon knows where, but in case he is also dead, its location is ten yards to the north, directly between the two oaks we planted in memory of Hereward and Torfida.

Nothing much was said for the rest of that day. We all found places to be quiet and reflect on all that had happened. Sweyn went to sit by Mahnoor’s grave, Edwin and Adela walked among the crosses in the meadow by the trees, and Estrith sat on the rocks high above the river to watch the sun go down.

After a while, I joined her. She had tears in her eyes.

‘I am such a pale shadow of my parents. One was the most remarkable woman I have ever known; the other was England’s greatest hero. I loved them very much and I cherish their memories, but they left me with a terrible burden. I want to be like them, but I can’t be. I have neither my mother’s intellect nor my father’s courage.’

‘You do yourself a disservice. How many people, men or women, could do what you do as a churchwright – maybe a handful in Europe? As for courage, when you heard about Cahors, you didn’t hesitate to rush off to help and accept what was almost certainly a sentence of death.’

‘I just feel unfulfilled. Hereward and Torfida knew what their destiny was and never wavered. I have no idea what mine is, or where to find it.’

‘The same applies to each of us. You have joined a group, all with the same dilemma. We try to help one another. I am a lost soul too. At best, I’m a curiosity – the ageing prince who should have been a boy king of the greatest prize in Christendom.

‘I try to take comfort in one of the things my father always said, which was that, if we strive to do what is right and live our lives as nobly as we can, our destiny will unfold of its own accord. But as for me, I don’t always do what is right and often my actions are not particularly noble.’

She seemed so miserable, tears rolling down her face, and I realized how lonely she must have been, trying to make her way in a man’s world while having to hide her real identity.

‘I’m sure that Hereward and Torfida had their doubts and also made mistakes. And remember, their destiny, although noble, ended in tragedy.’

‘I know, but I wouldn’t mind a tragic end to my life if I had lived it well and had achieved what they achieved.’

The silence settled between us for a few moments. Then she turned to face me, wiped the tears from her face and managed a faint smile.

‘When you came to me with Duke Robert’s proposition, did you think less of me because I answered so openly?’

‘No, not at all… although it was a surprise, because you looked and acted like a nun.’

‘I have broken my vows with men, but I hope you don’t see me as an immoral creature.’

‘I look at you very differently now – as a woman, not as a nun.’

She put her hand out and gently placed it on my face.

‘You are a very kind man, Edgar, and a good listener. Adela has told me how helpful you have been to her and Sweyn. Although what has happened here is so tragic, I have found my family again and I feel better than at any time since Gunnhild died. I don’t want to spoil that.’

I found the new Estrith very attractive and was disappointed that our relationship could never be more intimate than the one we already shared, as close confidants within our family, no matter how much I might wish for it to be otherwise.

She turned away to watch the last moments of the setting sun, which lit her lovely profile with a soft amber glow. She seemed so serene now, a look which confirmed that a platonic friendship was surely the best basis for our relationship.

I couldn’t help voicing the question that was uppermost in my mind.

‘Why did you never marry?’

‘Earl William kept to his word and let Gunnhild and I decide whether we wanted to be married. He dealt with all the suitors as we asked, which always meant sending them away. We both realized when we reached marriageable age that acquiring a husband would almost certainly mean the end of our useful lives, so we vowed never to marry.

‘Gunnhild died a virgin, and I was also chaste when I left Launceston. She was much stronger willed than me; without her influence, I soon succumbed to temptation. There weren’t many men – always young and single – and I made sure that no one would be harmed by the liaison. I am not ashamed of what I am; I’m not so very different from most women – or men, for that matter.’

She smiled again. It was a kind, gentle smile. She knew I desired her, and her smile seemed to acknowledge that, had our circumstances been different, we might have been lovers.

Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but I took comfort in believing that it was true.