Michael Crichton - Sphere

“How can you control a negative thought?” Beth said. She seemed suddenly very agitated. “How can you say to someone, ‘Don’t think of a giant squid’? The minute you say that, they automatically think of the squid in the course of trying not to think of it.”

“It’s possible to control your thoughts,” Norman said. “Maybe for a yogi or something.”

“For anybody,” Norman said. “It’s possible to deflect your attention from undesirable thoughts. How do people quit smoking? How do any of us ever change our minds about anything? By controlling our thoughts.”

“I still don’t see why Harry is doing this.”

“Remember your idea that the sphere might strike us below the belt?” Norman said. “The way the AIDS virus strikes our immune system below the belt? AIDS hits us at a level we aren’t prepared to deal with. So, in a sense, does the sphere. Because we believe that we can think whatever we want, without consequence. ‘Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.’ We have sayings like that, which emphasize the point. But now suddenly a name is as real as a stick, and it can hurt us in the same way. Our thoughts get manifested-what a wonderful thing-except that all our thoughts get manifested, the good ones and the bad ones. And we simply aren’t prepared to control our thoughts. We’ve never had to do it before.”

“When I was a child,” Beth said, “I was angry with my mother, and when she got cancer, I was terribly guilty…”

“Yes,” Norman said. “Children think this way. Children all believe that their thoughts have power. But we patiently teach them that they’re wrong to think that. Of course,” he said, “there has always been another tradition of belief about thoughts. The Bible says not to covet your neighbor’s wife, which we interpret to mean that the act of adultery is forbidden. But that’s not really what the Bible is saying. The Bible is saying that the thought of adultery is as forbidden as the act itself.”

“And Harry?”

“Do you know anything about Jungian psychology?”

Beth said, “That stuff has never struck me as relevant.”

“Well, it’s relevant now ,” Norman said. He explained. “Jung broke with Freud early in this century, and developed his own psychology. Jung suspected there was an underlying structure to the human psyche that was reflected in an underlying similarity to our myths and archetypes. One of his ideas was that everybody had a dark side to his personality, which be called the ‘shadow.’ The shadow contained all the unacknowledged personality aspects-the hateful parts, the sadistic parts, all that. Jung thought people had the obligation to become acquainted with their shadow side. But very few people do. We all prefer to think we’re nice guys and we don’t ever have the desire to kill and maim and rape and pillage.”

“Yes…”

“As Jung saw it, if you didn’t acknowledge your shadow side, it would rule you.”

“So we’re seeing Harry’s shadow side?”

“In a sense, yes. Harry needs to present himself as Mr. Arrogant Know-It-All Black Man,” Norman said.

“He certainly does.”

“So, if he’s afraid to be down here in this habitat-and who isn’t?-then he can’t admit his fears. But he has the fears anyway, whether he admits them or not. And so his shadow side justifies the fears-creating things that prove his fears to be valid.”

“The squid exists to justify his fears?”

“Something like that, yes.”

“I don’t know,” Beth said. She leaned back and turned her head up, and her high cheekbones caught the light. She looked almost like a model, elegant and handsome and strong. “I’m a zoologist, Norman. I want to touch things and hold them in my hands and see that they’re real. All these theories about manifestations, they just… They’re so… psychological .”

“The world of the mind is just as real, and follows rules just as rigorous, as the world of external reality,” Norman said.

“Yes, I’m sure you’re right, but…” She shrugged. “It isn’t very satisfying to me.”

“You know everything that has happened since we got down here,” Norman said. “Tell me another hypothesis that explains it all.”

“I can’t,” she admitted. “I’ve been trying, all the time you’ve been talking. I can’t.” She folded the paper in her hands and considered it for a while. “You know, Norman, I think you’ve made a brilliant series of deductions. Absolutely brilliant. I’m seeing you in a whole different light.”

Norman smiled with pleasure. For most of the time he had been down in the habitat, he’d felt like a fifth wheel, an unnecessary person in this group. Now someone was acknowledging his contribution, and he was pleased. “Thank you, Beth.”

She looked at him, her large eyes liquid and soft. “You’re a very attractive man, Norman. I don’t think I ever really noticed before.” Absently, she touched her breast, beneath the clinging jumpsuit. Her hands pressed the fabric, outlining the hard nipples. She suddenly stood and hugged him, her body close to him. “We have to stay together on this,” she said. “We have to stay close, you and I”

“Yes, we do.”

“Because, if what you are saying is true, then Harry is a very dangerous man.”

“Yes.”

“Just the fact that he is walking around, fully conscious, makes him dangerous.”

“Yes.”

“What are we going to do about him?”

“Hey, you guys,” Harry said, coming up the stairs. “Is this a private party? Or can anybody join in?”

“Sure,” Norman said, “come on up, Harry,” and he moved away from Beth.

“Was I interrupting something?” Harry said.

“No, no.”

“I don’t want to get in the way of anybody’s sex life.”

“Oh, Harry,” Beth said. She sat at the lab bench, moving away from Norman.

“Well, you two sure look all charged up about something .”

“Do we?” Norman said.

“Yeah, especially Beth. I think she gets more beautiful every day she’s down here.”

“I’ve noticed that, too,” Norman said, smiling.

“I’ll bet you have. A woman in love. Lucky you.” Harry turned to Beth. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m not staring,” Beth said.

“You are, too.”

“Harry, I’m not staring.”

“I can tell when someone is staring at me, for Christ’s sake.”

Norman said, “Harry-”

“-I just want to know why you two are looking at me like that. You’re looking at me like I’m a criminal or something.”

“Don’t get paranoid, Harry.”

“Huddling up here, whispering…”

“We weren’t whispering.”

“You were .” Harry looked around the room. “So it’s two white people and one black person now, is that it?”

“Oh, Harry…”

“I’m not stupid, you know. Something’s going on between you. I can tell.”

“Harry,” Norman said, “nothing is going on.”

And then they heard a low insistent beeping, from the communications console downstairs. They exchanged glances, and went downstairs to look.

The console screen was slowly printing out letter groups.

CQX VDX MOP IM

“Is that Jerry?” Norman asked.

“I don’t think so,” Harry said. “I don’t think he would go back to code.”

“Is it a code?”

“I would say so, definitely.”

“Why is it so slow?” Beth said. A new letter was added every few seconds in a steady, rhythmic way.

“I don’t know,” Harry said. “Where is it coming from?”

Harry frowned. “I don’t know, but the transmission speed is the most interesting characteristic. The slowness. Interesting.”