Sharon Creech - Absolutely Normal Chaos

Well, anyway, at least Carl Ray found a job and at least he knows when he starts .

I can hardly believe it, but I’ve almost filled up this whole journal and I’ve only been writing two weeks! I went out and bought another one today because I like doing this. It makes it easier to go to bed at night, for some reason.

Today was your regular Saturday: Got up late, good ole Alesci’s ham and hot bread for lunch (this time Mom didn’t make us wait for Carl Ray to hog it all first), waited around for Master Carl Ray to get up so I could make up his stupid bed (seven more days of this slavery), watched Carl Ray sit in front of the TV, went over to Beth Ann’s.

Beth Ann was acting as if she’d just been crowned the Queen of Easton or something. I’d never seen her like that. When I went over there, she was lying on her bed dressed in one of her sister Judy’s flimsy nightgowns (pink nylon! aaargh), flipping through Seventeen . She didn’t even seem happy to see me.

“Oh, hi there,” she said. She kept flipping through the magazine.

“Welllll?”

She turned a page. “Do you like this outfit?” She held it up for me to see.

“Not really.”

“Hmm.” She flipped to the next page.

“Welllll?” I was beginning to feel a little invisible.

“Hmm?” She was studying an underwear ad.

“Aren’t you going to tell me about last night?” Normally she would have been pouring out every single detail even if she and her parents had gone to the Tast-ee Freeze.

“Oh.” She put the magazine down and stretched out on the bed, fixing the nightgown as if someone was going to take her picture. Then she got this dreamy look on her face and said, “It was di-viiiiine.”

Di-viiiiine? Did she say di-viiiiine ?

“Derek is truly wonderful.”

Truly? Where did she get these words like divine and truly ?

“He’s truly precious.”

Truly precious . I thought I was going to gag. She sounded just like Christy and Megan at school. “Beth Ann, just tell me what you did, huh? Did you go to the drive-in?”

She nodded and got this big smile on her face.

“With Judy and what’s-his-name?”

“Gregory. Derek’s brother’s name is Gregory.”

“Okay, with Judy and Gregory?”

“Yes.”

This was driving me crazy. Beth Ann (normally) would tell you what everyone wore and what color the car was and what color the interior of the car was and if it was clean or dirty, and then she would get on to what time he picked her up and what her mother said and what her father said and on and on and on.

Then she sat up and said, “So what are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing. Want to go to the movies or something?”

She started winding a piece of her hair around her finger. “Oh, I’d love to, Mary Lou, but I can’t. Derek and I are going to some party with Judy and Gregory.”

I went home. It really bothered me all day that she didn’t tell me anything about her date and that she dropped that bit about her and Derek going out again, dropped it like some big bomb right on my head. I didn’t think best friends did that sort of thing.

Even though our house was full of people all day, I kept having this lonely feeling. It was really strange. Am I jealous?

I’ll probably never have a date. I’ll probably go on and on watching Maggie and Beth Ann be all soppy over boys and I’ll probably wake up one day and be seventy-five years old in my wheelchair, with drool running down my chin, and I will still not ever have been on a date.

It didn’t help matters that Maggie spent the entire day soaking in the tub and doing her nails and fixing her hair. I have to admit, though, that she looked terrific when she got ready to go.

When Kenny came to pick her up, he came into the house and sat down (he never sits down) and pretended to talk like an adult to my father.

He said, “Hello, Mr. Finney, sir.”

My dad just sort of smiled. “Hello, Kenny.”

“Have you had a nice day, Mr. Finney, uh, sir?”

“Yes.”

Kenny kept turning his head. I think his collar was too small. He was all dressed up in a gray suit and a white shirt and a blue tie.

“So where exactly is this party?” my dad asked.

“Oh, yes, sir, it’s at the Fergusons’. Do you know Bill Ferguson?”

“No, I don’t think I do.”

“Well, he’s a very nice guy. You’d like him, Mr. Finney. Well, I think you might.”

“And where exactly does this Bill Ferguson live?”

“Oh, he lives in this big house over in Norton. Seven-three-three Lindale Street. Here’s the phone number. I wrote it down for you.”

My dad looked at the piece of paper Kenny gave him. “Hmmm.”

So they went on like that until Maggie came downstairs and everybody fell all over her saying how terrific she looked. Carl Ray kept staring at her as if she was some sort of goddess or something. And, of course, Dad reminded her to be home by midnight and Kenny right away said, “Oh, of course, sir. Midnight it is. Very good.”

It’s now eleven o’clock. I wonder what time she’ll really be home.

Well! Would anyone in this world be surprised to learn that Maggie got home at two o’clock? And that she’s not even in trouble? Cinderella called around midnight and asked for an extension.

But I found out a lot of stuff from Maggie today! I asked her about the party and for once she decided to talk to me and she told me all about it. It was very fancy, she said, with butlers and maids. They had all kinds of little things to eat like dips and mushrooms and there was a live band that played outside on the patio and everyone danced and the neighbors didn’t even complain.

The thing that surprised me the most was when she said that Beth Ann was there! And then, after Maggie made me PROMISE not to tell, she said that Beth Ann was hanging allllllll over Derek-the-Divine, and that Derek was “sort of a jerk.” She said, “He’s just sort of gawky and his eyes sort of bug out so he always looks surprised and he didn’t say two words, just sort of followed Judy and what’s-his-name around, and Beth Ann followed him around.”

Then, out of the blue, Maggie said, “Oh, funny, I just remembered that there was some guy there who asked about you.”

“Meeee? Somebody asked about me ?”

“Now what was his name? He lives next door to Bill Ferguson—the guy who had the party. That’s probably why he was there. I don’t think he had a date, and I only saw him there at the beginning.”

“You don’t remember his name ?” Maggie never remembers names. It’s exasperating. “Describe him, then,” I said.

“Well. He’s pretty cute, sort of tallish and thin-nish, blondish hair, with pinkish skin…”

“Alex? Was it Alex Cheevey? He lives in Norton and he has this sort of pinkish…”

“Alex! That’s it. Yes, Alex.”

Alex Cheevey was at the party. And he asked about me. Well, sort of. And Beth Ann’s “truly divine wonderful gorgeous Derek” is sort of a jerk.

I felt a lot better today.

This is the first day of the new journal, but I’m not going to write much because I am sooooo sleepy.

I had to watch Tommy all afternoon even though it was supposed to be Maggie’s day (she traded Friday with me), but Mr. Furtz is sick. He came home early from the store and Mrs. Furtz had to take him to the doctor, so Maggie had to go over there and stay with Cathy, Barry, and David. Mrs. Furtz didn’t get home until eight, and she was all upset because the doctor said Mr. Furtz should go right into the hospital for some tests.