Льюис Кэрролл - Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Алиса в Зазеркалье / Through the Looking-glass, and What Alice Found There

‘Some people,’ said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from her as usual, ‘have no more sense than a baby!’

Alice didn’t know what to say to this: it wasn’t like a conversation. So she stood and repeated to herself:

‘That last line is too long for the poetry,’ she added. She forgot that Humpty Dumpty could hear her.

‘Don’t stand there talking to yourself like that,’ Humpty Dumpty said and looked at her for the first time, ‘tell me your name.’

‘My name is Alice…’

‘What a stupid name!’ Humpty Dumpty interrupted. ‘What does it mean?’

‘Must a name mean something?’ Alice asked.

‘Of course it must,’ Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: ‘my name means the shape I am… and it’s a good handsome shape. With a name like yours, you can be any shape.’

‘Why do you sit here alone?’ asked Alice. She didn’t want to begin an argument.

‘Because there’s nobody with me!’ said Humpty Dumpty. ‘Did you think I didn’t know the answer to that? Ask another.’

‘Don’t you think you’d be safer down on the ground?’ Alice went on, ‘This wall is so narrow!’

‘What easy questions you ask!’ Humpty Dumpty said. ‘Of course I don’t think so! If I fell off, the King has promised me to…’

‘To send all his horses and all his men,’ Alice interrupted.

‘That’s too bad!’ Humpty Dumpty cried. ‘You’ve been listening at doors… and behind trees… and down chimneys… you can’t know it!’

‘I haven’t!’ Alice said very gently. ‘It’s in a book.’

‘Oh, well! They may write such things in a book,’ Humpty Dumpty said. ‘That’s what you call a History of England. Now, take a good look at me! I’m one that has spoken to a King. May be you’ll never see such another. See, I’m not even proud, you may shake hands with me!’ And he grinned almost from ear to ear and gave Alice his hand.

‘Yes, all his horses and all his men,’ Humpty Dumpty went on. ‘They’d pick me up again in a minute! However, this conversation is going on too fast: let’s go back to the last question.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t remember it,’ Alice said, very politely.

‘In that case we start again,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘and it’s my turn to ask questions [234] it’s my turn to ask questions – теперь моя очередь задавать вопросы … How old did you say you were?’

Alice said: ‘Seven years and six months.’

‘Seven years and six months!’ Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. ‘An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you’d asked me, I’d advise you to stay at seven… but it’s too late now.’

‘I never ask advice about growing,’ Alice said.

‘Too proud?’ he asked.

‘What a beautiful belt you’ve got on!’ Alice changed the subject, ‘or… a beautiful cravat… no, a belt, I mean. I beg your pardon! [235] I beg your pardon! – Я прошу прощения! ’ she was very much puzzled. ‘If only I knew,’ she thought to herself, ‘which was neck and which was waist!’

Humpty Dumpty was very angry and said nothing for a minute or two.

‘It is terrible,’ he said at last, ‘when a person doesn’t know how a cravat looks like! It’s a cravat, child, and a beautiful one. It’s a present from the White King and Queen!’

‘Is it really?’ said Alice, she was pleased to find a good subject at last.

‘They gave it to me,’ Humpty Dumpty went on, ‘for… an un-birthday present.’

‘But what is an un-birthday present?’

‘When somebody gives you a present and it isn’t your birthday, of course.’

Alice looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I like birthday presents best,’ she said.

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about!’ cried Humpty Dumpty. ‘How many days are there in a year?’

‘Three hundred and sixty-five,’ said Alice.

‘And how many birthdays have you?’

‘One.’

‘And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five?’

‘Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.’

‘No… I’d like to see it on paper,’ he said.

Alice smiled, took out her note-book and wrote:

365 – 1 = 364

Humpty Dumpty took the book and looked at it carefully. ‘Yes, I think that’s right…’ he began.

‘You’re holding it upside down!’ Alice interrupted.

‘I was sure of that!’ Humpty Dumpty said when Alice turned it round for him. ‘I thought it looked strange… So it shows that there are three hundred and sixty-four days when you may get un-birthday presents…’

‘Certainly,’ said Alice.

‘And only one for birthday presents, you know. There’s glory for you!’

‘What do you mean by “glory”?’ Alice asked.

Humpty Dumpty smiled. ‘I’ll tell you. I meant “there’s a nice argument for you!”’

‘But “glory” doesn’t mean “a nice argument”,’ Alice said.

‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean.’

‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master… that’s all.’

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything. After a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. ‘They’ve a temper, some of them… especially verbs: they’re the proudest… adjectives… you can do anything with them, but not verbs… however, I can do anything I want with them! Impenetrability!’

‘Would you tell me please,’ said Alice, ‘what that means?’

‘Now you talk like a clever child,’ said Humpty Dumpty. ‘I meant by “impenetrability” that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it would be nice if you’d say what you are going to do next. I think you don’t want to stop here all the rest of your life. [236] all the rest of your life – всю твою жизнь ’

‘That’s great when one word means a lot,’ Alice said in a thoughtful tone. ‘You are very good at [237] to be good at something – разбираться в чем-либо explaining words, Sir,’ said Alice. ‘Would you tell me the meaning of the poem, which is called “Jabberwocky”?’

‘Let’s hear it,’ said Humpty Dumpty. ‘I can explain all the poems!’

Alice repeated the first verse:

‘That’s enough to begin with, [238] to begin with – для начала ’ Humpty Dumpty interrupted: ‘there are a lot of hard words there. “Brillig” means four o’clock in the afternoon… the time when you begin broiling [239] to broil – жарить things for dinner.’