Priscilla Goslin - How to Be a Carioca

Lunch in areas other than downtown differ only in the respect that the suits, ties, shoes, socks, heels, stockings, and briefcases are back at home in the closet. In fact, in even the finer establishments in the Zona Sulsection of Rio, one might see the clientele casually dressed in tangas(covered by kangas) and sungas.

On weekends Cariocas eat lunch anytime from noon until dusk, depending on the number of caipirinhasor choppsconsumed. If you arrive at a restaurant for an early dinner, you will probably overlap with the lunch crowd.

Like all of us, you too may have always dreamed of eating a stew made of pig ears, tails, snout, tongue, and hoofs, combined with dried meats, sausages, slab bacon, salted pork, and black beans served on rice, accompanied by kale, fried manioc flour, oranges, and a caipirinha. Well, now is your chance. Named by the slaves «wav back when,» the feijoada[feyh joo ‘ah dah] is the Brazilian national dish and is traditionally eaten on Wednesdays and Saturdays for lunch. Be sure to put a spoonful of the accompanying malagueta[mah lah ‘geh tah] (veeeeery hot pepper) sauce on top of the beans for that added adventure. Although feijoadasare served at the finest hotels and restaurants, a true Carioca will only eat a feijoadaat his favorite boteco. And don’t forget those caipirinhas!

If you should decide to indulge in a feijoada, be sure that you have the rest of the day free. Since the aftermath of eating a feijoadamay be very dangerous, the following post- feijoadaprecautionary measures should be observed:

• Do not wear tight pants.

• Do not go out to play soccer.

• Do not operate heavy machinery.

• Do not have sex, wild or otherwise.

Acceptable options of things to do after eating a feijoadaare:

• Lie in the hammock on the veranda or under a tree with your eyes closed, listening to the chirping of the birds.

• Extend yourself on a soft, comfortable sofa while listening to a Gilberto Gil CD with the air-conditioner at full blast.

Cariocas won’t even consider eating dinner until after nine o’clock, and most restaurants will serve until the wee hours of the morning. The fare will resemble that of lunch, although many will opt for a pizza or pasta dish for a change. Both lunch and dinner are preceded by the optional convert (appetizers) consisting of the obligatory limp carrot and green pepper sticks, toasted day-old bread chips, and quail eggs. A favorite pastime while waiting for the main dish is identifying the contents of the various small stainless steel containers in which the convert is served. Surprisingly, they are often excellent and tasty.

Rio has many eating establishments that offer a variety of atmospheres where you are sure to develop a taste for many new culinary delights. At the seafood restaurants which are located near the shore, you can eat just about every form of sea life from shrimp, crab, and octopus, to squid and shark. Casquinha de siri[kah ‘skee nyah gee see ‘rree] (crab on a half shell) is a good appetizer. Try it. A true Carioca will ask the waiter first, though, as to the crab’s origins, then disregard his answer, order another caipirinha, and enjoy!

A favorite among the meat-loving Cariocas, these round robin steak houses offer you the unique opportunity of eating all the meat you can stuff inside yourself for one set price. It’s traditional not to eat for the entire day, and then go to a rodízioand gorge. A word of caution: Waiters make their rounds with lightning speed, and before you can say « lingüiça» [leen ‘gwee suh] (sausage), the waiter will be offering you another cut of beef.

To avoid indigestion, it is recommended that you cover your plate with your hand until you are ready for that next sliver of meat. Although there does exist the danger of being stabbed in the hand when doing this, it is the only way to inform these speedy waiters that you need a chance to get caught up before the next round. A churrascaria rodízio[shoo ‘hah skah ‘rree yah ho ‘gee zee yoo] is not recommended for vegetarians, dieters, or long-winded conversationalists.

Cariocas run on caffeine. To enjoy a cafezinho[kah feh ‘zee nyoo] (expresso) Carioca style, place a minimum of two heaping tablespoons of sugar in a tiny cup, pour thick black coffee over it, stir it into a paste, and down it in two sips. Consumed on an hourly basis at the local boteco, at the office, or after a meal, drinking a cafezinhois the Carioca ritual.

There are certain occasions throughout the Carioca’s day when pausing for a cafezinhois imperative. The following are just a few:

• when bumping into a friend on the street

• after lunch and after dinner

• when taking a few minutes off work

• when passing a place where good ones are served

• after drinking and before driving

• when checking out of a motel

Another option when looking for atmosphere, these are those cool little stand-up bars you’ll find all around town. Similar to botecosand botequins, a barzinhowill often have a few tables close to the bar or on the sidewalk. The larger barzinhoshave substantial menus, but even though they may be lengthy, even a real Carioca will limit his order to batata frita(french fries), aipim frito(fried manioc root), and bolinhas de bacalhau(rolled codfish balls). Barzinhosare great spots to stop at when taking your date for a caipirinhaor a quick Guaraná[gwah rrah ‘nah], the Brazilian soft drink. By the way, made from the powder of an Amazonian nut, Guaranáis rumored to be an aphrodisiac. Hmmm…

While dining out Carioca style, don’t expect the waiters to be perfect specimens of etiquette. They may stack the plates like the Tower of Babel, but they do have good intentions.

No cute outfits with striped hats and bar aprons here. Always fully dressed in a long sleeve shirt, white jacket, and black bow tie, even when the temperature soars to 42 °C (107°F), it is no wonder the Carioca waiter occasionally gets out of sorts.

If you are fortunate enough to find a good waiter in a restaurant you like, be sure to ask his name. That way you’ll be guaranteed a few saideiras[sahee ‘day rrahs] (drinks served on the house while waiting for the bill).