Stella Grey - The Heartfix - An Online Dating Diary

Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Twitter Comments Acknowledgements Introduction Trying to Write the Right Profile First Bites and Backbites Sex and Sensibility The Packaging Out in Open Water Fundamental Ironies of the Game Landings on Islands Back in the Fray The Day I Decided to Quit And Then He Kissed Me What Happened Next 693 Days A Final Dedication About the Publisher

4th Estate

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.4thEstate.co.uk

This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2016

Copyright © Stella Grey 2016

Stella Grey asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is

available from the British Library

Cover photograph © Getty Images / Felicity McCabe; Design by Anna Morrison

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008201739

Ebook Edition © September 2016 ISBN: 9780008201746

Version: 2017-04-13

Cover

Title Page Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Twitter Comments Acknowledgements Introduction Trying to Write the Right Profile First Bites and Backbites Sex and Sensibility The Packaging Out in Open Water Fundamental Ironies of the Game Landings on Islands Back in the Fray The Day I Decided to Quit And Then He Kissed Me What Happened Next 693 Days A Final Dedication About the Publisher

Copyright Copyright Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Twitter Comments Acknowledgements Introduction Trying to Write the Right Profile First Bites and Backbites Sex and Sensibility The Packaging Out in Open Water Fundamental Ironies of the Game Landings on Islands Back in the Fray The Day I Decided to Quit And Then He Kissed Me What Happened Next 693 Days A Final Dedication About the Publisher 4th Estate An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.4thEstate.co.uk This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2016 Copyright © Stella Grey 2016 Stella Grey asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Cover photograph © Getty Images / Felicity McCabe; Design by Anna Morrison All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008201739 Ebook Edition © September 2016 ISBN: 9780008201746 Version: 2017-04-13

Twitter Comments Twitter Comments COMMENTS RECEIVED VIA TWITTER, WHILE THE COLUMN WAS RUNNING IN THE GUARDIAN From @RebNew1: It’s been a relief knowing it’s not just me who’s gone through these scenarios. From @carolineratner: I recently suggested a newly single friend read you from the beginning so she knew what to expect from dating. From @CharleneWhite, ITV news anchor: This has been one of my fav regular weekend reads. Love it. Thanks for sharing. From @patriciajrogers: Thank you for all those weeks of laughing, wincing and nodding knowingly to your column. Parallel experiences start to end. From @caracourage: You’ve written words I’ve taken to heart, on the self in dating. From @gnasherwell: Your column/twitter has made me feel normal. From @catherineaman1: I feel like you’ve gone with me into the maelstrom, as an entertaining & kind companion. From @theflossietp: Sad your column is ending, but at least it won’t feel like you’ve been reading my journal any more! From @Newhall70: I can relate to so much of this. #stillsearching From @helwels: Thanks for the reassurance that all the idiots weren’t ‘just me’. From @missinformed11: As a woman of a similar age in a similar situation, the IT’S NOT JUST ME Factor was huge! From @accentdialectuk: I’ve grown to feel just as ritual-adoring with your column as some people feel about The Archers. From @adrianalemus: Even as a 20-something I could identify. Stella Grey might not be a typical heroine, but the wit, honesty, and her self-awareness of her own attributes and flaws made me see a woman to aspire to be, in her. From @NesreenMSalem: I’ve had to resort to writing satires to make sense of the absurdity of my experience. Yours were less crazy & made me realise that I’m probably not doing it right … From @SarahABGee: I suspect that many (most?) of us could share similar tales … you were never alone. From @dellvink: I hope you get a movie rights offer. It would be great. A grown up UK romcom. THERE WERE ALSO MEN WHO COULD RELATE From @nickodyson: Highly recommended for the romantically inclined, and believers in hope. From @GervaseWebb: I loved the final column. It should be printed out and given to everyone; male or female, over 50 or under.

Acknowledgements Outlandish though some of the following events and conversations may seem, they were real events and conversations, which took place over two years. This is not a work of fiction, nor fictionalised (although I can see why some people might think so). Names have been changed and some other identifying details, so as to protect those involved, including myself. Stella Grey is a pseudonym. I’d like to thank all the people who have supported me in telling this story: Harriet Green, my editor at Guardian Family , who had already heard about some of these events, and who commissioned the original column. Clare, my sub-editor there. Nicholas Pearson, my editor and publisher at 4th Estate, who approached me with an offer to produce a book. The friends who cheered me on, throughout this journey, with unwavering support and love. My family, the thought of whom makes my hand clasp to my heart. My literary agent, who is always steadfastly in my corner. All the women (and men, too) who shared their dating stories – some of them very similar to my own – online and in letters. Last of all, but by no means least … you’ll have to get to the end to see that final dedication.

Introduction

Trying to Write the Right Profile

First Bites and Backbites

Sex and Sensibility

The Packaging

Out in Open Water

Fundamental Ironies of the Game

Landings on Islands

Back in the Fray

The Day I Decided to Quit

And Then He Kissed Me

What Happened Next

693 Days

A Final Dedication

About the Publisher

COMMENTS RECEIVED VIA TWITTER, WHILE THE COLUMN WAS RUNNING IN THE GUARDIAN