David Walliams - The Midnight Gang

Copyright

First published in Great Britain by

HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2016

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Text copyright © David Walliams 2016

David Walliams and Tony Ross assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.

Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2010. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Illustrations copyright © Tony Ross 2016

Source ISBN: 9780008164614

Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2016 ISBN: 9780008164638

Version: 2016-10-27

Cover illustration copyright © Tony Ross 2016

Cover design copyright © HarperCollins Publisher’s Ltd 2016

Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2010

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For Wendy and Henry, two keen readers

and future writers.

David x

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1: Monster Man

Chapter 2: Here or There

Chapter 3: Bump

Chapter 4: The Children’s Ward

Chapter 5: Pink-Frilly-Nightdress Boy

Chapter 6: Up to No Good

Chapter 7: The Midnight Hour

Chapter 8: A Promise

Chapter 9: “B” For Basement

Chapter 10: Rabbit-Dropping Roulette

Chapter 11: Poop! Poop! and Double Poop!

Chapter 12: Following the Leader

Chapter 13: Thunk

Chapter 14: Deep Freeze

Chapter 15: The North Pole

Chapter 16: Polar Bear

Chapter 17: Telling Stories

Chapter 18: Ba Ba Ba Bom

Chapter 19: Positively Medieval

Chapter 20: The Oath

Chapter 21: A Voice in the Darkness

Chapter 22: Snotted

Chapter 23: Deep-Fried Otter

Chapter 24: Goodest Morning

Chapter 25: The Boy Protests too much

Chapter 26: The Taste of Pond

Chapter 27: Fly

Chapter 28: The Impossible Dream

Chapter 29: Balloons, Balloons and more Balloons

Chapter 30: An Old Friend

Chapter 31: The World’s Oldest Child

Chapter 32: Balloon Burglars

Chapter 33: Flying Old Lady

Chapter 34: Bottom on Fire

Chapter 35: Nee-Naw! Nee-Naw!

Chapter 36: The Unwelcoming Committee

Chapter 37: Not a Laughing Matter

Chapter 38: Deep, Deep Trouble

Chapter 39: The Saddest Story

Chapter 40: Chocolate for Breakfast

Chapter 41: One Last Adventure?

Chapter 42: The Escape

Chapter 43: A Wall of Black

Chapter 44: Home

Chapter 45: A One-Winged Pigeon

Chapter 46: Prince Charming

Chapter 47: Nothing is Impossible

Chapter 48: An Awfully Big Adventure

Chapter 49: Two Left Feet

Chapter 50: Poppadoms

Chapter 51: Suspicion

Chapter 52: A Pain in the Bum

Chapter 53: Bong!

Chapter 54: Together

Chapter 55: Nestled in the Pillows

Chapter 56: None Shall Sleep

Chapter 57: Make her Smile

Chapter 58: Tonight is Forever

Chapter 59: “My Bottom Hurts!”

Chapter 60: Long-Forgotten Choc Ice

Chapter 61: A Tender Kiss

Epilogue

More from the World of David Walliams

Also by David Walliams

About the Publisher

Welcome to the world of the Midnight Gang.

This is LORD FUNT HOSPITAL,in London, England. It was built many years ago and should have been demolished many years ago. The hospital was named in honour of its founder, the late Lord Funt.

Have a look inside LORD FUNT HOSPITAL.

Meet the patients in the children’s ward, high up on the forty-fourth floor of the hospital.

This is Tom. He is twelve and goes to a posh boarding school. He has hurt his head.

Amber is twelve. She has broken both of her arms and both of her legs, so has been in a wheelchair for some time.

Robin is also twelve. He is recovering from an operation to save his eyesight, and for now can’t see a thing.

George is eleven and from the East End of London, which makes him a cockney. He is recovering from having his tonsils taken out in an operation.

Sally is just ten and the youngest of the group. Because she is so ill, Sally spends most of her time sleeping.

Downstairs in one of the grown-ups’ wards is the oldest patient in the hospital – ninety-nine-year-old Nelly.

Hundreds of people work at LORD FUNT HOSPITAL. Among them are:

Porter. A lonely figure, whose real name is a mystery. His job is to move people and things around the hospital, which he never seems to leave.

Matron. Despite running the children’s ward, she doesn’t like children at all.

Doctor Luppers has just become a doctor, and is rather easy to fool.

Tootsie is the hospital’s dinner lady. She brings meals round on a trolley to all the patients.

Nurse Meese is the tired-looking nurse, who never ever seems to get a night off work.