Amy Morin - 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

• You don’t have to treat your body like a machine to be mentally strong. Mental strength isn’t about pushing your body to its physical limits just to prove you can ignore pain. It’s about understanding your thoughts and feelings well enough that you can determine when to behave contrary to them, and when to listen to them.

• Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you have to be completely self-reliant. Mental strength isn’t about proclaiming that you don’t ever need help from anyone or any type of higher power. Admitting you don’t have all the answers, asking for help when you need it, and acknowledging that you can gain strength from a higher power is a sign of a desire to grow stronger.

• Being mentally strong is not about positive thinking. Thinking overly positive thoughts can be just as detrimental as thinking overly negative thoughts. Mental strength is about thinking realistically and rationally.

• Developing mental strength isn’t about chasing happiness. Being mentally strong will help you to be more content in life, but it isn’t about waking up every day and trying to force yourself to feel happy. Instead, it’s about making the decisions that will help you reach your full potential.

• Mental strength isn’t just the latest pop psychology trend. Just like the physical fitness world is filled with fad diets and fitness trends, the world of psychology is often filled with fleeting ideas about how to become your best self. Mental strength isn’t a trend. The psychology field has been helping people learn how to change their thoughts, feelings, and behavior since the 1960s.

• Mental strength isn’t synonymous with mental health. While the healthcare industry often talks in terms of mental health versus mental illness, mental strength is different. Just like people can still be physically strong even if they have a physical health ailment like diabetes, you can still be mentally strong even if you have depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems. Having a mental illness doesn’t mean you’re destined to have bad habits. Instead, you can still choose to develop healthy habits. It may require more work, more focus, and more effort, but it’s very possible.

It’s often easy to feel mentally strong when life is going well, but at times problems arise. A job loss, a natural disaster, an illness in the family, or a death of a loved one is sometimes inevitable. When you’re mentally strong, you’ll be more prepared to deal with life’s challenges. Benefits of increasing your mental strength include:

• Increased resilience to stress—Mental strength is helpful in everyday life, not just in the midst of a crisis. You’ll become better equipped to handle problems more efficiently and effectively, and it can reduce your overall stress level.

• Improved life satisfaction—As your mental strength increases, your confidence will also increase. You’ll behave according to your values, which will give you peace of mind, and you’ll recognize what’s really important in your life.

• Enhanced performance—Whether your goal is to be a better parent, to increase your productivity at the office, or to perform better on the athletic field, increasing your mental strength will help you reach your full potential.

You’ll never become an expert at anything by simply reading a book. Athletes don’t become elite competitors after reading about their sport nor do top musicians increase their musical abilities by simply watching other performers play. They also have to practice.

The following thirteen chapters aren’t meant to be a checklist that you either do or don’t do. They are a description of habits that everyone falls prey to sometimes. It’s meant to help you find better ways to cope with life’s challenges so you can avoid these pitfalls. It’s about growing, improving, and striving to become a little better than you were yesterday.

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