Zara Stoneley - The Wedding Date - The laugh out loud romantic comedy of the year!

I smile back. I can’t help it. I want to hug him.

‘I want to help, I want us to go up to Scotland and show this Liam just what a stupid twat he is.’ He leans forward, earnestly, like we are co-conspirators. ‘I want us to have a wild time.’ He’s gone all twinkly again. ‘We are going to have so much fun. I am definitely up for it.’

‘A whole week, in Scotland, with me and my batty friends and family?’ I need to be sure. ‘Horse-riding and fishing and stuff like that.’ He’s looking amused. ‘On a big estate, miles from anywhere.’ He’s still not said no. ‘With no sex.’

‘You’re really selling this.’ He’s chuckling. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘And everybody does have to believe you’re my real boyfriend.’

‘Of course.’

‘It’s top secret, the only people who know are Sarah and your sister, of course.’

‘Good.’

‘And my hairdresser, and everybody who was in the salon.’

‘But it is top secret?’

‘Nobody at the wedding must suspect. We’ll have to get to know each other, practise.’

‘Practise?’ Jake raises his eyebrow. He really has to stop that, it makes me wriggle. And when I wriggle I realise my knickers have dried into something more like cardboard than cotton. Which is not a good sensation.

I ignore his naughtiness. ‘You need to be…’ I pause. I had originally had in mind just a boyfriend, any kind of boyfriend. Okay, I hadn’t really thought about it in detail. But now I am thinking about it I realise that Jake isn’t like just any kind of boyfriend. Jake is posh, Jake is good-looking, Jake has endless possibilities that I need to have a think about. Jake is an actor. ‘You need to be the type of boyfriend who would drive a Ferrari, and adore me, and watch chick flicks on a Friday night, and…’ I really do need to think about this.

‘Whatever your heart desires.’ I’m pretty sure that warm huskiness is purely a demonstration of how good an actor he is, and nothing more.

‘Pizza and a bottle of wine normally.’

He laughs, a deep throaty laugh. ‘A girl after my own heart.’ Oh heavens, any more of this and I will be booking him for a lifetime, not a week. ‘Except I’d rather have the footie than a chick flick, but hey, I can pretend.’

‘Good.’

‘How about Thursday then, for the first getting to know you session? I can tell you about my rules then, as well.’ He winks, it’s a bad habit.

‘Your rules? You can’t have rules!’ I haven’t even got rules yet, and I’m the one who’s supposed to be in control here. It is part of my plan, to be in control of my own life.

‘Just watch me.’ He’s chuckling as he stands up and shoves his hands in his pockets. ‘How about Thursday then? You can come and watch the play I’m in, then we can go out after?’

‘Thursday.’ Watching him act seems like a very good idea, it will prove just how well he will be able to pull this off. ‘How about that new pizza place?’ Much as I like the way he’s being all assertive, I feel I need to be more that way myself. I’m the one that is supposed to be running this show. And I want pizza. And I’m a bit concerned about his rules.

‘If you like, not quite sure that’s where Ferrari man would take you though.’

‘You can start off being Mini man and we’ll work up.’

He laughs again. I could get used to listening to that laugh, it makes me feel happy inside. ‘Nothing Mini about me.’

‘But you are an actor, aren’t you?’ I try and look sweet and innocent. ‘I’m sure you could pull it off.’

He just shakes his head.

‘Jake?’ He stops, raises an eyebrow. ‘Why have you said you’ll do this?’ I’ve got a feeling this distraction must be something important, or why would Amy mention it?

‘Money? You know, penniless actor and all that.’

Even I can tell that’s not the whole truth, and we did say this was going to be an honest relationship. ‘And?’

‘And…’ He studies the crumbs on my plate for a moment, then lifts his gaze back up to mine. ‘Like I said before, I know what you’re going through, and what this means to you. Really.’ We stare at each other, for a long moment, and I believe him. He gets it. And I really want to know why. Except it would seem really rude to ask him, and I take it from his angry reaction that whatever happens still smarts, and is off bounds.

‘And I’ve got some time off, before I start filming.’

As a way of diverting me from quizzing him, it’s brilliant. I go after it like a terrier that’s seen a rat. ‘You’re going to be in a film?’

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