D. Graham - Rank

“Do you like it? It’s got a kitchen and a shower.” He went on to list a bunch of top of the line features like a salesman.

“I don’t care if it’s got a porch and an attic. I’m not going.” I sat on the edge of the bed and unfolded the paperwork from the University of Saskatchewan that I needed to fill out in order to reapply. “I have responsibilities. I can’t dick around on the circuit anymore.”

“I promise not to get killed.”

The image of Dad getting stomped flashed through my mind and made my muscles flinch involuntarily. “Yeah, well, that could happen whether I go with you or not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I looked up and stared at him for a while. I hated being he reason for the disappointed look on his face, but I had to stand my ground. “I don’t want to go.”

“I need to do this, Billy. I can’t end my career like that, and I need you there or I won’t be able to get back up on a bull.”

And, the guilt trip. Final phase. “Nobody cares if you quit.”

“I do, and Dad would have.”

I scoffed. “Look where that attitude got him.”

Cole wandered across the room and stared out the window at the trailer for a while. Honouring Dad’s memory was not an angle that was going to work on me and Cole obviously realized it because he sat on the edge of my desk and tried another approach. “Rodeo is all I know. It’s the only place I feel like myself.”

“I’m not stopping you from going. I just don’t want to go.”

“Who’s going to make sure I take my medications?”

I shook my head, not buying his useless act.

“Who’s going to remind me to fill out my forms?”

I propped the guitar back on my lap and practiced my picking, hoping he would eventually run out of arguments and go.

“Who’s going to drag me out of bed and make me scrambled eggs every morning?”

“You can learn to do all that for yourself.”

He pushed his hat back and propped his hands on his knees. He thought for a while then he said, “Mom will worry herself sick if you aren’t there watching over me.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, wishing he would just give up and leave without me.

“Rodeo is all you know, too.”

“Yeah, well that’s the problem. I don’t want to spend my whole life riding bulls and have nothing to show for it but a trunk full of buckles, arthritis, and an empty bank account. Besides, Mom needs my help around here.”

“Come on, Billy. Just one more season. I need someone to slap my back for good luck. I can’t do that myself.”

Shit. I blinked hard then glared at him. Although it was nearly impossible to talk him into or out of things, with me, it was just a matter of finding the one thing that struck a chord. The back slap was that thing. The satisfied grin on his face made it clear that he knew he’d finally stumbled onto the bullseye.

“Please, Billy.”

I rubbed my face and gave in. “Fine, one weekend, but if you wreck, I’m not going to help you.”

“Deal.” He clapped his hands.

“I must be crazy,” I mumbled as I got up to pack my bag.

“We both know I’m the crazy one.” He tackled me onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me in a headlock to roughhouse. “Ooh, look at that. My baby brother is still stronger than me. Maybe we’ll get you back on a bull yet.”

I twisted out of his hold and pinned him across the throat. “I will always be stronger than you, but I’m never getting on a bull again.”

“You lost your nerve?”

“No. One of us has to stay alive to take care of Mom. We both know it isn’t going to be you.”

“You got that right.” He pushed his hands into my chest and launched me off him. “Stop horsing around and get your bag packed. That shiny new camper is pulling out of here in exactly eight seconds.”

When we arrived at the rodeo, we parked in the participants’ area and the smell of dust, diesel, and dung descended on us. Cole inhaled and smiled the same way he did when he took the first puff of a cigarette after quitting for a while. “Smells like home, don’t it?” He swatted my shoulder and then headed over to the indoor arena to sign in.

I kicked at the dirt, raised my face up to the warm sunshine, and inhaled. It did kind of feel like home. I put my hat on and followed Cole to the arena. A girl with long strawberry red hair was practicing barrels on a palomino horse. I leaned my elbows on the rail and watched. Her turns were the tightest I’d ever seen and then she let it rip home.

“Damn,” I said to Cole. “That girl is going to give Shae-Lynn a run for her money.”

“That is Shae, you idiot.”

I squinted and tried to make out her face. She looked different. It was definitely Harley, though. “Has her hair always been red?” I asked, confused why I hadn’t noticed that before.

“I don’t know,” he replied, not actually caring. “I’ll be right back.”

I nodded to acknowledge I heard him, but I was more focused on Shae-Lynn walking Harley around to cool him down. I was pretty sure her hair used to be dirty blonde or light brown. I couldn’t remember for some reason. When she noticed me, I tipped my hat. She smiled and waved, but then frowned and turned to walk him in the opposite direction.

“Hey, Cole,” a girl behind me said.

I looked over my shoulder. Cole wasn’t around. Tawnie was smiling at me. “Uh, Cole’s signing in. I’m his brother, Billy.”

“Oh, sorry. You look alike.” She held out her hand to shake mine. “Nice to meet you. I’m Tawnie Lang.” She bit the corner of her bottom lip and slid her hands in her back pockets, which made her top stretch across her chest and the fabric gape between the buttons. “Actually, who am I kidding? I knew you were Cole’s brother. I was just looking for an excuse to come over and introduce myself.”

“You don’t need an excuse. Nice to meet you, Tawnie.”

She smiled and relaxed. “Which event are you competing in this weekend?”

“I’m not competing. I don’t ride anymore.”

She moved in next to me to lean her elbows on the rail. She smelled like wild lavender. Up close, she was even prettier. “Do you know anything about barrel racing?” she asked without actually looking at me.

“A little.”

“Something hasn’t been quite right with my timing on Willow lately. Will you watch my run and tell me how my form is?” She turned her head and looked right into my eyes in a sexy way that she likely knew had an effect on men. It had been so long since the last time I saw her, I had forgotten how strong the attraction was.

I couldn’t quite remember the question, but I knew whatever it was, I was okay with it. “Sure.”

She touched my arm flirtatiously before she climbed the fence and walked over to where her horse was tethered. Shae-Lynn looked over at me one more time before exiting the arena with Harley following behind. Tawnie warmed up for a while, then lined up to do a practice run. Cole walked over and leaned on the fence next to me to watch. It was an ugly run. Willow stumbled twice and Tawnie almost lost her stirrup on the last barrel. She loped home and circled at a trot. She stopped in front of us. “See what I mean? What do you think I’m doing wrong?”

Cole stood up straight and said, “Time to retire her.” He walked away.

Tawnie’s eyebrows angled. “What’s Cole talking about?”

“Your horse is favouring her front left leg.”

“Like a sprain?”

“No. She’s probably done.”

“But she’s only seven years old.” Tawnie’s face tightened as if she was on the verge of crying. I looked around to see if anyone else was watching. Seeing girls cry was one of my least favourite things in the world. Being the reason why they were crying was pretty much the only thing worse. Not that I hadn’t made my fair share of girls cry. I just felt horrible doing it.