Hannah McKinnon - Time After Time - A heart-warming novel about love, loss and second chances

‘Oh bloody hell, Hayley,’ Ellen said.

‘I know damn well he’s trying to push me out, get me to quit and I probably would have if I’d got that job. But now … What if he fires me?’

‘Well, if he does it’s his funeral,’ Ellen said.

‘Let him sack you,’ Mark said as he filled Hayley’s glass back to the top. ‘He’ll beg you to come back when he realises how much shit he’s in. You work harder than anyone in that firm.’

‘It’s not that easy,’ countered Hayley. ‘I’ve lost deals and … he has allies.’

Ellen frowned. ‘Allies? What do you mean?’

Hayley hesitated. ‘I … I haven’t said anything to Rick but … I overheard Charles speaking to Max.’

‘One of the partners?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Sounds ominous.’ Mark said.

Hayley nodded. ‘Charles said he didn’t think I was in control of the Berger deal.’ She laughed. ‘Turns out that was true, right? But he said he’d specifically given me the responsibility of getting that client. And it’s true. He did.’ She paused. ‘Anyway … he told Max if the deal collapses, he’ll be recommending severe consequences for me.’

‘Hang on a second,’ Mark said. ‘Severe consequences? After all you’ve done there?’

Hayley looked down. ‘Like I said, I’ve lost deals lately.’

‘Please tell me Max defended you?’ Ellen said.

Hayley shrugged. ‘Kind of, I suppose. Said something about my work always being exemplary. Then Charles jumped in and told him he’s seen it happen before.’

‘What?’ Mark said.

Hayley exhaled. ‘Solicitors losing their edge. The killer instinct disappearing.’ She bit her lip before continuing. ‘Charles has, and I quote, a number of contacts he could replace me with.’ She took a gulp of wine. ‘Practically guaranteed there wouldn’t be any disruption.’

‘The little fucker ,’ Ellen said.

Hayley shuddered. ‘I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve always been so diligent, you know? They don’t call me Hawk-Eye Hayley for nothing.’ She paused. ‘I know there’ll be paperwork and reprimands before I’m fired, but … I … I just can’t face any of that right now.’

‘Charles really is a shit,’ Mark said. ‘Is there anything you can do?’

‘Other than leave?’ Hayley shrugged and drained her glass, then sighed. ‘He’s making my life a misery and I’m turning into a bitch. I’m no fun to be around. Rick said something about a big project he’s bidding on and what did I do? Bit his head off, that’s what. We got into an argument about Halloween costumes and the washing.’

‘Uh-oh,’ said Mark.

‘I know. I’m pathetic.’

‘That’s not fair and –’ Ellen said.

Hayley cut her off. ‘It is . I’ve morphed into a whining git who doesn’t have time for anybody and –’ She threw a hand up into the air. ‘You see? I’m whinging again. Mind you,’ she said, ‘it wouldn’t hurt if Rick could remember to get stuff done around the house.’

Ellen nodded silently.

‘A conversation might not be a bad idea,’ Mark said.

Hayley laughed. ‘Rick said something about me having,’ she made air quotation marks ‘a wall around myself.’ She saw Ellen and Mark’s faces. ‘What? You agree?’

Ellen looked down and fiddled with her watch, avoiding eye contact. Hayley recognised the stalling manoeuvre instantly.

Mark took the lead. ‘Look, when I saw Rick last week he told me things were a bit, uh, tense.’ Hayley started to protest but Mark continued. ‘And Ellen said you withdraw when you’re unhappy, didn’t you?’ Hayley saw Ellen shoot him her very best ‘shut up or die’ stare but Mark didn’t seem to notice and opened his mouth to continue.

‘What Mark is trying to say,’ Ellen said loudly, putting a hand on his thigh, ‘is that you don’t talk as much as you used to and perhaps you should.’

Hayley felt her shoulders stiffen. Rick had spoken to Mark about their problems behind her back? The double standard wasn’t lost on her – because here she was, talking to them.

They were my bloody sodding friends first .

She ignored how childish it sounded in her head. What else had Rick told them? That they hadn’t had sex in three months? As she felt the heat rising to her face, Hayley changed the subject clumsily, not caring how obvious it appeared.

‘Will you cut my hair Ellen, please , I’m desperate. What do you think about colouring it? Would chestnut look good?’

Ellen took the bait. ‘Maybe more of a golden brown? It’ll brighten your skin.’

‘And will you do mine too, honey?’ Mark said in a high voice. ‘I hear highlights are all the rage again.’

Ellen laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. ‘Shush, you.’

‘And work’s okay?’ Hayley said, trying to keep the focus on Ellen. ‘Still enjoying it?’

‘Love it. Although this week? Completely nuts. I’m so glad my boss gave me the weekend off. I’m knackered.’

‘And you?’ She looked at Mark.

‘Never better,’ he said as he stretched out his arms. ‘I’m living the dream, I am. Selling insurance always was my calling. In fact, I want a T-shirt that says “Insurance agents are premium lovers”.’

Ellen groaned.

Mark laughed. ‘Nah, it’s fine. It pays the bills.’

‘How’s your dad?’ Ellen asked. ‘Any better?’

Hayley shook her head.

‘It’s only been a year,’ Mark said.

‘I know, but …’ Hayley sighed deeply. ‘He’s not improving anymore, you know?’ She shook her head. ‘I’ll never hear him talk again. He’ll never walk properly again …’

Ellen nodded. ‘I can’t even imagine … How’s your mum?’

‘She copes.’

‘Still writing for that greeting card company?’

‘Yep. And each time I see her in a new light. The stuff she comes up with is disgusting.’ A smile returned to Hayley’s lips. ‘It was a caption for a picture of an old, wrinkly, naked couple the other week. Something about saggy boobs looking like testicles.’

Mark almost choked on his drink. ‘Nice.’

As they drank more wine and the evening passed, Hayley mellowed. The weight of her frustrations lessened to that of a double-decker bus, although she knew another five were waiting to drive back onto her shoulders in the morning.

She stayed far longer than she had intended, but Hayley loved the warmth of Mark and Ellen’s place. It was understated with its flat-pack furniture and well-used sofas, small kitchen and dented wooden floors. Hayley always thought of it as inviting and cosy – just how she used to feel about her own home. She’d lived in the flat with Ellen years ago, before she moved out and Mark moved in, and well before Morgan arrived. They’d had some incredible times there and memories lingered in every room. Good memories.

Shortly before midnight Mark played rock, paper, scissors with Ellen to decide who would get up with Morgan. He lost.

‘Don’t worry, darling,’ Ellen said. ‘I’ll make your favourite apple pie as a consolation prize.’

Mark got up, kissed Ellen on the lips and Hayley on the cheek, then he squeezed Hayley’s hand and said, ‘Talk to Rick, he’s a good bloke.’

Ellen refilled their glasses and flopped back down on the sofa.

‘Alright then,’ she said, propping her head up with one arm. ‘Work is shit and Charles is a fuck-head. But what’s really going on with you and Rick?’

Hayley sighed. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I see you two. You’re still so close …’ Ellen kept quiet and Hayley continued. ‘We fight over stupid stuff. We don’t laugh together anymore. And sex, well,’ she shook her head, ‘not for ages and when we do it feels like a routine. Everything’s a routine. I get up, go to work, go home, work some more, go to bed and start all over again the next day. The weeks blend into each other.’ Hayley clicked her tongue. ‘It’s a phase – I’m in a rut and I don’t how to get out of it.’