Hannah McKinnon - Time After Time - A heart-warming novel about love, loss and second chances

Well, duh. But when?

Even before she’d contacted Isamu, Rick kept asking Hayley why she didn’t tell Charles to shove his job up his backside.

Easy for him to say, most of the financial responsibilities are on me now.

She knew that was unfair, so she never said it out loud, but it didn’t stop the thought bubbling under the surface.

Hayley quietly opened the front door and walked into the hall. Rick sat at the kitchen table reading the paper, his glasses perched on the end of his nose and a glass of red wine in front of him. He glanced up, folded the paper and smiled at her. Hayley noticed how relaxed he looked and, inexplicably, it annoyed her. She’d always loved his easy-going, laissez-faire attitude, felt it kept her grounded, but now she often wanted to give Rick a shake. Instead she gave him a small wave, dumped her heavy bag on the floor, hung up her damp coat, took off her shoes and crept upstairs.

Millie was fast asleep, curled up in a ball with Jelly-Belly, her favourite teddy with the big gut and green eyes. Pickles purred and stretched at the foot of the bed. Hayley tickled him behind the ear, then smoothed down Millie’s auburn hair and kissed her cheek.

‘Sweet dreams, darling.’

Millie murmured something incomprehensible and Hayley smiled. Very quietly she snuck out of the bedroom and into Danny’s room. He lay higgledy-piggledy in his bed, arms flung out like a starfish, his dinosaur pyjama-top halfway up his belly. Hayley covered him with his SpongeBob SquarePants duvet and kissed him. She lingered at the doorway.

I should have ‘Crap Mum’ tattooed on my forehead.

‘Hey.’ Rick smiled when she walked into the kitchen in a fresh T-shirt. ‘Good day?’ He ran a hand over his stubble and through his greying hair. ‘Did you speak to Isamu?’

‘The job fell through.’

‘What? Why?’

‘Said they’d filled it internally. Isamu reckons I should sit tight for a few months.’

Rick shook his head. ‘Oh fuck, that sucks, big time. I’m sorry. Maybe it’s for the best though – you didn’t seem that keen –’

‘That’s not the point, Rick, I …’ She sighed as she rubbed her face.

He looked at her. ‘You want to talk about it?’

She shook her head.

Rick looked away, then finally said, ‘Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?’

‘No, thanks. Food’s the last thing on my mind right now. But did you get the Halloween costumes?’ Her imaginary pen was poised, ready to check a ‘Done’ box on her virtual to-do list.

‘Oh shit.’ Rick scrunched up his face and snapped his fingers. ‘I knew I should’ve done something else.’

She put her head down and her palms over her eyes. ‘Rick, I put a note on the fridge.’ She looked up and tried a smile which, she imagined, looked more like an unhinged grimace. ‘Never mind. Go tomorrow.’

He shook his head. ‘Sorry love, I can’t. I have to go over the website with the culinary school.’

‘Tomorrow?’

He nodded. ‘I’m seeing them in the morning. The site looks great, even if I do say so myself. I’ll show you later if you like? Anyway, glass of wine? How was the rest of your day?’

‘Utter bollocks. The Berger offer went tits up,’ Hayley said, tears prickling her eyes and she turned away.

Get a grip.

She couldn’t stand crying in front of people, not even Rick. If she lost control she didn’t think she’d ever regain it.

‘Shit.’ Rick’s brow furrowed. ‘What happened?’

‘I don’t know. But now I don’t have a job offer and I’ve lost another client.’ She swallowed. ‘I’m going to get reprimanded. Or fired.’

He snorted. ‘That’s a bit dramatic. There’s no way you’ll get fired.’

‘Rick –’

He waved a hand at her. ‘Charles couldn’t cope without you. Man, I was really looking forward to his reaction when you quit … Something else will come up. You could always tell him to –’

‘Shove it?’ Hayley let out a sarcastic laugh. ‘You’ve said that a hundred times. I can’t quit without a job to go to.’

‘You’ll find something. And you’d be a damn sight happier, that’s for sure.’

‘Would I? How? What would we live on?’ She waved an arm around. ‘Do you want to call Mum and tell her we can’t afford to support them anymore or shall I?’

Rick’s bright blue eyes narrowed. ‘Is that a dig at me again?’

‘What? No. I didn’t mean –’

‘I’m doing the best I can. And we agreed. Remember?’

How could she not? Six months before her dad’s stroke, Rick had come home one evening, pale and red-eyed. ‘They’re wiping out the entire department,’ he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his greying hair. ‘All one hundred and twenty-six of us.’

He’d applied for jobs and she watched Rick’s confidence take a hit with every rejection letter he received, even more so when he didn’t hear from prospective employers at all.

‘Start the web-design business you’ve always dreamed of,’ she said one night. He protested, said it wouldn’t be fair on her. ‘I’ll support us,’ she replied. ‘Besides, I’ll be a partner soon. You should do it. We’ll manage.’

Now Hayley looked at Rick, took a deep breath. ‘I know what I said, but –’

‘I just don’t get how you can work for that stupid dick,’ Rick said.

Hayley nodded. ‘He’s definitely a dick. But he’s not stupid.’

Rick picked up the newspaper again. ‘All I’m saying is that you need to do something.’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘ Do something? What the bloody hell do you think I’m doing , Rick? I –’

He held up a hand. ‘Maybe you and Tony should go out on your own. Or speak to another recruiter,’ he said, his tone more subdued. ‘Okay? That’s all.’

Hayley knew he could tell she was dangling ten – badly in need of a pedicure – toes over the warpath. That’s why he was backing off; he preferred to leave her alone until she calmed down. It irritated the hell out of her sometimes. Why couldn’t he stand up and fight? Taking a deep breath she walked to the fridge, counting slowly.

1 … 2 … 3 …

‘Do you need me to fold any washing?’ she said.

4 … 5 … 6 …

Rick looked at her and blinked.

7 … 8 … 9 …

‘I didn’t do any laundry. I had to –’

BOOM!

‘Oh come on, ’ Hayley shouted. ‘For fuck’s sake. You were at home, why couldn’t you do a couple of loads?’

Rick gestured to her to lower her voice.

‘Don’t shush me,’ Hayley snapped.

‘You’ll wake the kids,’ he said, his jaw tight. ‘Look, I had to finish the website and start a quote for another project. The biggest one I’ve ever had, actually. That was more important than the fucking washing, okay?’

Hayley stared at him.

‘I’m sorry, okay?’ he said. ‘I guess now’s not a good time to tell you the toilet upstairs isn’t working properly as well.’

‘You’re joking?’ She put the wine back and slammed the fridge door. A plastic magnet – the letter O – clattered to the floor, leaving the word HELL behind.

‘Don’t worry,’ Rick said. ‘I remembered to call the plumber. He’s coming tomorrow.’ He held his arms up in mock defence as he sat, weaving his upper body around like a boxer, pretending to get ready to dodge whatever she might throw at him by ducking under the table.

Hayley welcomed his humour like a hairdryer in a bath. ‘I can’t deal with all of this as well,’ she said in a strained whisper. ‘I can’t handle my job and continually remind you to sort stuff out, then spend weekends doing the washing and running errands.’