Paul Greenwood - Your First Grandchild - Useful, touching and hilarious guide for first-time grandparents

As for all you young-looking grandmothers and grandfathers-to-be, you can look forward to astonished faces and flattering remarks: ‘You can’t be a grandparent – it’s impossible!’

After receiving the news, try to remember that you still have several months in which to psyche yourself to become R.U.S.C! – RELIABLE, UNCRITICAL, SUPPORTIVE and CALM. Practise the skill of biting your tongue before offering a suggestion, unless you are appealed to directly for your opinion – and even then think carefully before replying. Above all, prepare yourself for any ideas you might come up with to be rejected as old-fashioned and completely ridiculous. Learn to smile in a jolly way when you are made fun of. Try to remember what you were like yourself as a young mother or father, and how you felt when your parents or parents-in-law made what seemed to you utterly unsuitable suggestions. Acknowledge to yourself that things keep moving on, especially ideas on childcare. Remember even the late, great Dr Spock was somewhat discredited in the end – especially by himself!

A fine method of whiling away the time before the birth is to find out which childcare books (if any) the parents-to-be are reading and read them yourself. A great deal of potential conflict can be avoided if this is done. You may not entirely agree with every new idea, but at least you will have an informed opinion – and more insight into what has contributed to their choices. Much better to discuss calmly the various methods and theories before the birth, than to argue and criticize later when the young parents are struggling to do their best as they see it. An intelligent mind is an open mind, and that has nothing to do with age.

For the moment, just think of the fun you can have rushing around telling everyone that you’re expecting your first grandchild and observing their reactions. Not everyone will be interested; some may even look at you with a pitying expression (‘Poor old thing, you really are past it’), but good friends will share your delight, especially those who already have grandchildren themselves. So, if you are among the lucky ones who have just received the big news, go out and celebrate. You are about to move on to a new and wonderful time of your lives!

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