Jill Steeples - Desperately Seeking Heaven

Jimmy Mack, recently deceased, was as large as life in my bedroom seemingly apparent only to me. What on earth was I going to do with him? Apart from watch over him all day which at that moment didn’t seem such a bad idea The bacon sandwich and restorative night’s sleep had clearly done him the power of good; his skin now radiated an almost healthy glow, the washed-out grey look of yesterday thankfully gone.

Quietly, I pulled the door shut, breathing quickly, hoping against hope that when I came to open it again, my visiting ghost would have decided to take up residence elsewhere.

‘So I thought we’d go down to the village and do some shopping,’ Lexie called. ‘I’m on the lookout for a cape, something goth-ish. I’m sure they’ll have something on the market.’

Glad of the distraction, I followed her into the kitchen.

‘Great,’ I said, thinking some fresh air might give me some much-needed thinking space, time in which to decide what to do with Jimmy Mack. ‘Although I can’t be long. I have some work to do.’

‘At the weekend? I hope they’re paying you overtime.’

‘Oh it’s just some loose ends I need to tie up. You know me, I don’t like leaving any jobs unfinished.’

But it wasn’t work that was troubling me so much as what to do about my unexpected house guest. Mentally I’d drawn up a plan of action.

Check Yellow Pages .

Google ghosts and how to get rid of them.

And then I was stumped. Check Tripadvisor for heavenly resorts?

Aargh, it was hopeless.

At work I was used to things being thrown at me; could I organise an eleventh-hour meeting with executives from three different continents? No problem.

Book the flights, find hotels, arrange conferences? Leave it with me.

Field my boss’s telephone calls, emails and unplanned personal visits? All part of my day’s work.

Schedule his diary, pacify his team, deal with irate customers, galvanise the sales force? Absolutely.

But could I point a wayward soul to his proper destination in the universe – absolutely no flipping way. I didn’t know where to begin.

I threw back the coffee, wishing it was something stronger, and was just about to go off for my shower when Jimmy appeared in the living room with the tiniest of towels covering his modesty and a huge grin upon his face.

‘So this is your sister then, is it? Aren’t you going to introduce me?’

My mouth gaped opened, but words completely failed me. There was a near-naked man parading himself in my living room. A stunningly gorgeous one at that. My stomach went into free fall as I looked from Jimmy across to Lexie who was completely oblivious to my discomfort before my gaze returned to Jimmy’s resplendent form. I sighed inwardly, as my breath caught in my throat, desire trickling through my veins. This guy was known as a smooth operator; easy on the eye with an open charming manner, but in the flesh, up close and personal, his physical attributes were more captivating than I could ever have imagined.

It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming, ‘Oh my God, Lexie, have you clocked the pecs on that!’

Instead I did another quick glance between Lexie and Jimmy and said, involuntarily, ‘Lexie.’

‘Yeah?’ she quickly countered.

This was freaky. She must be able to see him, to catch the smile currently hovering on his lips, to hear his warm nut-brown voice ricocheting off the small walls of my flat. But she was totally oblivious to his overpowering physical presence.

‘Oh, I’ll just get ready then and we’ll go shall we?’

‘Great. You don’t mind if I switch on the telly while I’m waiting, do you?’

‘No. You go ahead,’ I said, backing out of the room as I watched Jimmy join my sister on the sofa. What she’d think about having an almost naked sex idol rubbing thighs with her, I didn’t want to imagine.

‘She looks nothing like you, does she?’ he called, throwing a glance my way.

I shrugged and threw a glare back. What did he expect me to say?

‘Won’t be long!’ Even I could hear the note of hysterical desperation in my voice.

To be honest, I couldn’t wait to get out of the flat. Less than sixteen hours ago Jimmy and I had been strangers. And now we were in the unenviable position of being stuck with each other for goodness knows how long. Like being fixed up on a blind date and knowing from the off that it was a non-starter, but still having to sit through the entire evening making polite conversation.

I was in and out of the shower in a jiffy, threw on some jeans and my favourite pink jersey top and applied a quick covering of brown mascara to my lashes, a dab of bronzer to my cheeks and a lick of gloss to my lips.

‘OK, let’s go,’ I said, grabbing my handbag, but it seemed Lexie wasn’t about to go anywhere.

‘God, it’s unbelievable, isn’t it?’ she said, zapping the TV off with the remote control and sighing exaggeratedly.

I was beginning to think, uncharitably, that Jimmy was revelling in all this attention. He looked across at me, a smug look upon his face and shrugged his shoulders.

‘What?’ I said, not really needing to ask the question.

‘Jimmy Mack. Dying like that. So suddenly. Who’d have thought it?’

‘Hmm, I know, it’s very sad,’ I sighed, trying my best to muster up some sympathy, but to be frank I was all sympathied out. Especially when the object of my sister’s sympathy was sitting right next to her wearing next to nothing, seemingly enjoying the fact that we were deep in discussion about him.

‘You just wonder what really happened, don’t you?’

‘It doesn’t bear thinking about really.’ I sighed. ‘He probably just lost control at the wheel.’

‘Hmm, it’s a bit odd though, isn’t it? I mean the road and weather conditions were perfect so what caused him to come off the road like that? We probably don’t know the half of it yet. Maybe he was into drink or drugs.’

‘Oh pleeaaase,’ Jimmy said so vehemently I was sure Lexie would hear.

‘I don’t think so,’ I said. ‘He didn’t seem the type.’

Jimmy nodded approvingly.

‘A lot of those celebrities are, you know. Perhaps he’d been at some drink and drugs-fuelled orgy and it sent him over the edge. Or maybe he was involved in some sordid sex scandal that was about to be exposed to the world and he topped himself.’

‘Good grief, does your sister make a habit of slagging off poor unsuspecting celebrities? I’ve never touched drugs in my life. OK, so maybe I like the odd glass of champagne. Who doesn’t? But I certainly hadn’t been drinking that day. Really!’ He chewed on the inside of his lip, shaking his head at Lexie. ‘Put her straight, would you, before I do her for defamation of character.’

I smiled, feeling thankful now that Lexie wasn’t aware of Jimmy’s overpowering near-naked presence after all.

‘Jimmy was the real housewives’ favourite. He couldn’t be seen to be doing anything dodgy. Besides, he always seemed to me to be a true gentleman. Honest and caring. No, I can’t imagine there were any skeletons in his cupboards.’

‘Aw, that’s such a nice thing to say.’ Jimmy beamed under the weight of my compliment. ‘Thanks, Alice.’

‘Huh, and when did you become such a fan of JM anyway?’ Lexie said, spoiling the moment. ‘You always said he was a bit too smooth, a bit too squeaky-clean. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but honestly, I’d rather have Barney Roberts any time of the day.’

I paused, suddenly aware of Jimmy’s laser-like stare bearing down on me. Lexie took my hesitation for complicit agreement.

‘Come on, you have to admit Barney has something special going on.’

An awkward silence punctured the air as I searched for something to say.