Knowledge house - Oscar Wilde - The Complete Works

lord darlington

My dear Lady Windermere!

lady windermere

[ Leaning back on the sofa .] You look on me as being behind the age.—Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same level as an age like this.

lord darlington

You think the age very bad?

lady windermere

Yes. Now-a-days people seem to look on life as a speculation. It is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice.

lord darlington

[ Smiling .] Oh, anything is better than being sacrificed!

·8· lady windermere

[ Leaning forward .] Don’t say that.

lord darlington

I do say it. I feel it—I know it.

[ Enter Parker C .

parker

The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the terrace for to-night, my lady?

lady windermere

You don’t think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?

lord darlington

I won’t hear of its raining on your birthday!

lady windermere

Tell them to do it at once, Parker.

[ Exit Parker C .

lord darlington

[ Still seated .] Do you think then—of course I am only putting an imaginary instance—do you think that in the case of a young married couple, say about two years married, if the husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman of—well, more than doubtful character, is always calling upon her, lunching with her, and probably ·9· paying her bills—do you think that the wife should not console herself?

lady windermere

[ Frowning .] Console herself?

lord darlington

Yes, I think she should—I think she has the right.

lady windermere

Because the husband is vile—should the wife be vile also?

lord darlington

Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere.

lady windermere

It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.

lord darlington

Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. I take the side of the charming, and you, Lady Windermere, can’t help belonging to them.

·10· lady windermere

Now, Lord Darlington. [ Rising and crossing R., front of him .] Don’t stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. [ Goes to table R.C .]

lord darlington

[ Rising and moving chair .] And I must say I think you are very hard on modern life, Lady Windermere. Of course there is much against it, I admit. Most women, for instance, now-a-days, are rather mercenary.

lady windermere

Don’t talk about such people.

lord darlington

Well then, setting mercenary people aside, who, of course, are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have committed what the world calls a fault should never be forgiven?

lady windermere

[ Standing at table .] I think they should never be forgiven.

lord darlington

And men? Do you think that there should be the same laws for men as there are for women?

lady windermere

Certainly!

·11· lord darlington

I think life too complex a thing to be settled by these hard and fast rules.

lady windermere

If we had ‘these hard and fast rules,’ we should find life much more simple.

lord darlington

You allow of no exceptions?

lady windermere

None!

lord darlington

Ah, what a fascinating Puritan you are, Lady Windermere!

lady windermere

The adjective was unnecessary, Lord Darlington.

lord darlington

I couldn’t help it. I can resist everything except temptation.

lady windermere

You have the modern affectation of weakness.

lord darlington

[ Looking at her .] It’s only an affectation, Lady Windermere.

[ Enter Parker C .

·12· parker

The Duchess of Berwick and Lady Agatha Carlisle.

[ Enter the Duchess of Berwick and Lady Agatha Carlisle C .

[ Exit Parker C .

duchess of berwick

[ Coming down C., and shaking hands .] Dear Margaret, I am so pleased to see you. You remember Agatha, don’t you? [ Crossing L. C .] How do you do, Lord Darlington? I won’t let you know my daughter, you are far too wicked.

lord darlington

Don’t say that, Duchess. As a wicked man I am a complete failure. Why, there are lots of people who say I have never really done anything wrong in the whole course of my life. Of course they only say it behind my back.

duchess of berwick

Isn’t he dreadful? Agatha, this is Lord Darlington. Mind you don’t believe a word he says. [ Lord Darlington crosses R.C .] No, no tea, thank you, dear. [ Crosses and sits on sofa .] We have just had tea at Lady Markby’s. Such bad tea, too. It was quite undrinkable. I wasn’t at all surprised. Her own son-in-law supplies it. Agatha is looking forward so much to your ball to-night, dear Margaret.

·13· lady windermere

[ Seated L.C .] Oh, you mustn’t think it is going to be a ball, Duchess. It is only a dance in honour of my birthday. A small and early.

lord darlington

[ Standing L.C .] Very small, very early, and very select, Duchess.

duchess of berwick

[ On sofa L .] Of course it’s going to be select. But we know that , dear Margaret, about your house. It is really one of the few houses in London where I can take Agatha, and where I feel perfectly secure about dear Berwick. I don’t know what society is coming to. The most dreadful people seem to go everywhere. They certainly come to my parties—the men get quite furious if one doesn’t ask them. Really, some one should make a stand against it.

lady windermere

I will, Duchess. I will have no one in my house about whom there is any scandal.

lord darlington

[ R.C .] Oh, don’t say that, Lady Windermere. I should never be admitted! [ Sitting .]

duchess of berwick

Oh, men don’t matter. With women it is different. We’re good. Some of us are, at least. ·14· But we are positively getting elbowed into the corner. Our husbands would really forget our existence if we didn’t nag at them from time to time, just to remind them that we have a perfect legal right to do so.

lord darlington

It’s a curious thing, Duchess, about the game of marriage—a game, by the way, that is going out of fashion—the wives hold all the honours, and invariably lose the odd trick.

duchess of berwick

The odd trick? Is that the husband, Lord Darlington?

lord darlington

It would be rather a good name for the modern husband.

duchess of berwick

Dear Lord Darlington, how thoroughly depraved you are!

lady windermere

Lord Darlington is trivial.

lord darlington

Ah, don’t say that, Lady Windermere.

lady windermere

Why do you talk so trivially about life, then?

·15· lord darlington

Because I think that life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it. [ Moves up C .]

duchess of berwick

What does he mean? Do, as a concession to my poor wits, Lord Darlington, just explain to me what you really mean.

lord darlington

[ Coming down back of table .] I think I had better not, Duchess. Now-a-days to be intelligible is to be found out. Good-bye! [ Shakes hands with Duchess .] And now—[ goes up stage ] Lady Windermere, good-bye. I may come to-night, mayn’t I? Do let me come.

lady windermere

[ Standing up stage with Lord Darlington .] Yes, certainly. But you are not to say foolish, insincere things to people.