Martin Fieber - He Who Returned

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Then the day dawned on which a man arrived shortly before sunset, who had orders to escort the rabbi to Jerusalem. The messenger of the high priest was very tired. After a brief meal with the family of the rabbi he was shown to his sleeping quarters. There was a spacious room next to the synagogue in which travellers passing through Nazareth could stay.

The next morning, shortly before sunrise, Samuel and the messenger set out. There wasn’t much of a farewell since Samuel was averse to any such ceremonial show of feelings.

“Woman, watch out for the kids! Keep an eye on Joshua, as I told you to! God bless you.” Samuel put the supplies on the donkey which was to bear the load for him on this journey.

“May the lord protect you, Samuel. May you always be surrounded by the blessing of our God and may the winds of truth open a clear path for you.” Sarah nodded briefly at the other man and watched the two of them as they disappeared into the darkness before dawn.

Sarah went back into the house, sat down and enjoyed the mint tea she had prepared herself earlier. She loved mint leaves. They smelled so wonderful and the hot tea warmed her heart. Samuel was gone. And that for at least three weeks! Nothing like this had ever happened in the entire seven years that they had been married. She was looking forward to this time, for now she could relax some and regain a sense of joy in her life.

She let her thoughts go into the past, where they stumbled upon memories. Eight years ago Tamar, Samuel’s first wife, had passed away while giving birth to her second child, which also did not make it into this world. Samuel had been desperate, for Tamar had been his true love. Esther was two years old at the time and loved her mother more than anything else in the world. Samuel wanted a new woman by his side, if only for the child, for he himself was not capable of feeling the strong kind of love he had felt for Tamar anymore. Sarah was aware of that. One day Samuel entered the house of Sarah’s parents, who at the time still lived in Nain. Samuel said that he had asked the rabbi regarding a good woman for himself, and that the rabbi had sent him to their home. Sarah’s parents were deeply rooted in the Jewish faith and felt honored to have a rabbi ask for their daughters hand in marriage. After all she was already seventeen and thus of prime marrying age.

Sarah smiled when she thought about the moment when she first laid eyes on Samuel. He could have been her father, but the sadness which surrounded him caused her to develop some feelings for him. He was a handsome man with penetrating eyes and a pretty smile which alas she had not seen much of lately.

Yes, she felt sympathy for Samuel, she respected him, and yes, she felt physically attracted to him, for he had a muscular body, but she never had truly loved him, nor he her. People in Nazareth told her about Tamar, and up to this day she had not been able to rise above the shadow of his former wife. She had always remained second choice for Samuel, a compromise, but not a true love. And yet she was satisfied with her life, because she had wonderful children. Joshua and Judith loved her very much, and she also got along well with Esther. That was not to be taken for granted, she thought to herself and smiled. Also, she did not have to suffer privations and always had enough to eat. She was popular in the village, but what she lacked was the warmth of a man, the warming power of true love.

She sipped some more of her mint tea and laid down again on her lair, even though she had work waiting for her. Suddenly tears gushed from her eyes. She found herself crying harder and harder from one moment to the next. She cried and cried without noticing her children had become aware of it and then returned to their rooms. She cried the tears she had suppressed for seven years. After a while she fell asleep soaked in her own tears. She did not notice that another woman was sitting by her side and watching over her. Esther had fetched Miriam because she had been afraid of what was happening with Sarah.

∞

“Go to Jesus, he will be happy if you visit him.” Joshua was sent out of the house by Miriam. He needn’t worry about anything. She would watch over his mother.

Joshua immediately complied, but Jesus was not at home. So he proceeded to the olive tree up on the hill. He sought comfort from this mighty being. He sat down next to it and let his gaze wander across the valley, until it came to rest on Mt. Tabor again. He would miss this view when he was living in that other country. The tree as well and the whole little area up on the hill. And the beautiful melodies which caused him to slip away into dreams he would miss dearly. It was then that Joshua noticed that he was hearing the Jesus play the flute again.

“God bless you Joshua. I greet thee. How are you?”

“My father left for Jerusalem today and my mother cried all morning long.”

“Yes, she has to deal with a lot, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.” After a while he added: “I am sad that we will be leaving Nazareth.”

“Well, Nazareth isn’t really all that great, is it?”

“I will mainly miss you and Rachel. That is the worst of it for me.”

“Joshua, we will see each other again in this life time. Trust in that. I promise it to you. Let’s do as much as possible together these next few weeks while your father is away.”

“That isn’t possible.” Joshua paused.

“Why not?”

“My father does not want me to spend time with you.”

“So what! He will be gone for weeks.”

“He would find out.”

Jesus waited a moment before continuing the conversation. “Joshua, time is precious. Enjoy your time with me. We will have wonderful weeks together. You will be able to draw on this time later on in your life when you need strength or feel alone. Our family has been invited to a tour of the theater including a visit to one of the performances. Of course you can come along, one more or less is no problem. We will ask your mother whether she thinks it is o.k. After all my mother will also be coming along, so she can watch out for us. Isn’t it wonderful that this is all happening in the time when your father is journeying to Jerusalem?”

“You mean we are going to go to the theater in Sepphoris?” Joshua was speechless.

“Believe me, it is going to fun watching the people on stage and those sitting in the big circle. I should let you know that I enjoy watching people.”

“Hhmm. I'm not sure about all this.” Joshua was clearly afraid of something.

“Joshua, don't be afraid. I will ask God for his help, so that you will not have to worry about being punished. Trust me. What would you do today, if you were to die tomorrow?

“What kind of a question is that?”

“Just try and answer it, Joshua. What you would you do?”

“I would play with you and Rachel, speak with both of you, sit under the olive tree here and gaze at Mt. Tabor, and eat a bunch of cheese balls.” Joshua's feeling of dread had vanished and both of the boys laughed. Now they both simply sat next to each other quietly, enjoyed their companionship and gazed into the distance, where despite the bright sunlight they both spotted a bright light twinkling above Mt. Tabor.

Had Joshua belonged to the great holy lineage in a previous life? That would make sense, seeing as he seemed to have a greater level of maturity than Simeon and the other boys in the village. That was probably also the reason why he often seemed so sad. Speaking with Rachel a few days ago felt good. She is very happy and light. But being together with Joshua is also very rewarding for my soul. Although it is not as easy, it reaches a different kind of depth in me. I wonder whether there are more of the great holy lineage present in human bodies? What are they here on earth for? And if they are here, how will I be bale to recognize them? How can we aid and assist each other, father?