Martin Rooney - Coach to Coach

“Well, how do I do that?” asked Brian.

“With what I call a little enthusiasm adjustment, slick,” said the old man. “Success, as I have learned, is all about enthusiasm. You have to rediscover your passion; meaning what it is you are enthusiastic about.”

“Sounds easy enough,” said Brian.

“If it was easy,” the old man said, “the world would be filled with a lot more upbeat and satisfied people, son.”

“Well, what do I have to do?” asked Brian as he made his way through his patty melt. “At this point I'm open to ideas, and if you haven't noticed, I sure could benefit from a little more enthusiasm right now.”

“That's for sure,” said the old man.

“Really?” said Brian.

“Just calling it like I see it, kid,” said the old man. “It just so happens you are in luck. I think I have the information you need to turn yourself around. But I am going to be honest. Working with me will involve some hard work.”

“I've never been afraid of putting in some extra time,” said Brian.

“Good,” said the old man. “Then before I let you get back to your family, here is your first assignment,” as he pulled a folded-up paper from his pocket and stared right into Brian's eyes. “On this paper is the most important thing that will direct your life. Actually, it contains all the direction and motivation you will ever need.”

Eagerly, Brian took the paper from his hand, unfolded it and opened it to the blank side. Quickly flipping it over, he noticed the other side was blank, too, except for one word in the top corner: enthusIASM. With a confused expression, he looked from the paper to the old man.

“Oh, tonight your job is to write down that most important thing. I can't tell you what it is. I'm not a magician, you know,” said the old man with a laugh. “But that one word on the paper is your reminder what to do. Enthusiasm is a Greek word. The first part of the word, enthus , means to be filled with spirit. So that is what you are on fire about. The IASM is an acronym I use to stand for I AM SOLD MYSELF. Those letters represent what you really believe in. And when you really believe in something, that energy is apparent to everyone else around you, too. When you really believe in something heart and soul, other people have no choice but to start to believe it, too. Tonight I want you to really soul search about what it is you love to do and why you love to do it. Once you figure out that intersection of your passion and your purpose, I think I will be able to help you.”

The old man stood up to leave and Brian said, “Thanks so much for listening tonight. Sorry to weigh you down with my problems. I just realized I never got to ask you anything. I guess that was pretty selfish of me.”

“No worries, Brian,” said the old man. “I wasn't here tonight to talk about me. That's a lesson I have a feeling I will teach you another time. Speaking of other times, let me know when you are open to go over your answers.”

Worried he might not see the old man again, Brian said, “I'm usually booked during the season, but how does lunch tomorrow at 1 p.m. sound? The cafeteria isn't much, but it will be my treat.”

“Sounds good, and I'll see you then. Don't forget the paper,” said the old man.

“Sure thing,” said Brian.

“And before I go, here's assignment #2. That kid you upset today could be feeling as bad as you are right now. Before he goes and does something drastic that you will both regret, I think you should write him and apologize.”

“Apologize?” said Brian incredulously.

“Yes,” said the old man. “And make sure he shows up for practice after our lunch tomorrow. Trust me on this one.”

“Okay. I'll text him now. Thanks again for your time. Come to think of it, I didn't even catch your name,” said Brian as the old man started to walk away with a slight limp.

“You can just call me coach,” the old man answered. And with that, he walked out to the ringing of the bell on the diner door.

That evening, Brian pulled into his driveway feeling less stressed than usual. Inspired from his meeting at the diner, he felt compelled to take action on the homework the old man had given him. After texting Marcus a serious apology and request to be at practice tomorrow, Brian turned off his phone and made a commitment to stay a little more present with his daughters and Kelly. When he walked in, he was greeted by his girls. He had forgotten how good it felt to see them come running and yell, “Daddy's home!” when he walked in the door. They had a nice dinner and conversation, and even Kelly seemed a little more at ease than usual. In a weird way, Brian already felt a little more in control because of the old coach he had met. And when he thought about it, the old coach hadn't done more than listen and give him an assignment.

“So, what's gotten into you?” Kelly asked.

“What do you mean?” Brian answered.

“After that loss yesterday, you would usually be hitting game film and stressing over next week's game. You seem a little…different. Is everything okay?” Kelly inquired.

“Sure, babe,” Brian assured her. “I just met an unusual coach today and he gave me an interesting assignment. I guess it already has me thinking, and that thinking has slightly changed my attitude, too.”

“What was the assignment?” asked his oldest daughter Jenny. “Is it like he gave you some homework?”

“That's exactly what he did,” Brian answered. “And just like you, tonight I am going to make sure I get it all done.”

“So he's your teacher?” asked his youngest daughter Jaime.

“Ha! Well, I guess he is,” said Brian realizing his kids were always listening. “And I have a strange feeling he has a lot to teach me. At least I hope he does.”

“I thought you knew everything already, Daddy,” said Jaime.

“No, Jaime,” said Brian. “Every Daddy always has more to learn.”

That night, Brian kept his commitment and was more present. It felt good to focus on the girls; they were growing up right before his eyes. And after teeth were brushed, a story was read, and they were tucked in, Brian let Kelly know about the assignment and asked her what she thought his answers might be. Kelly always seemed to know him even better than he knew himself. Her answers revolved more around service and helping others than football. She reminded him of his previous volunteer work and other coaching jobs before he got so “serious.” This was the inspiration Brian needed before he started to jot down his own ideas.

After Kelly went to bed (she had to get up early to get the girls off to school and then to work) Brian pulled out the paper and concentrated on the word enthusIASM . As he thought about what he really loved to do, he remembered a conversation with one of his former athletes who signed a huge contract in the NFL. Even though the player had more money than he would ever need, he was unhappy. Years later when he and Brian were talking at a team reunion, he remembered the player remarking, “24 hours is a long time to have nothing to do. You can only spend so much time on a beach or playing golf.”

That comment always stuck with Brian. So, he decided that money was not what was firing him up. After all, if it was, he would be involved in another profession. There had to be something deeper that would get him up early and keep him up late. Brian thought the easy answer would be football, and although it was still one of his greatest passions, he could see that he was not sold on football being his purpose. As he remembered, the instructions were to find the intersection of his passion and his purpose. Perhaps when he did this, the money might appear, too.