Lisa Heathfield - Flight of a Starling

‘We just went for a walk,’ I say, saving Lo from a lie she won’t want to tell.

‘Where’s Grands?’ Lo asks, squeezing in beside Spider.

‘In bed already trying to sleep, so no party noise from you,’ Da tells her. He puts his arm round Ma as she sits back next to him.

‘I’m tired in any case,’ Lo says.

‘Not tired enough to disrupt a card game I see,’ Ma smiles at her.

‘Did you meet anyone?’ Ernest asks.

‘No one interesting,’ I say. I glance quickly at Lo so she doesn’t say more. ‘Why’s Rob not playing?’

‘He chose an early night,’ Da says, his fingers flicking quick through his cards. ‘It’s your turn.’ He nods at Ernest.

‘I’d get rid of that ace of clubs when it’s your go, Spider,’ Lo says laughing. Spider opens his mouth like a goldfish and holds his cards away from her.

‘Don’t spoil it, Lo,’ Ma tells her.

‘I’m here to help,’ she says.

‘You’re here to be a pest,’ Da says, but his frown is lined with a smile.

‘Do you want one of these?’ Ma asks, passing the plate of bread twists to me. The stringy dough we plaited together this afternoon is solid and cracked brown where we painted it with egg yolk.

‘Needs cheese, I’m thinking,’ Spider says, grabbing another when he’s barely finished chewing his own.

‘You can keep your thinkings,’ Lo says, even though she didn’t help us make them.

‘I’m out,’ Da says, laying his fan of cards flat on the table. ‘Three sixes and a run of hearts.’ He’s so proud, just for winning, his Da smile wide.

‘That’s not fair,’ Ernest says. ‘I was so close.’

‘It’s all fair,’ Da chuckles. Fair is a word that was invented for him. The cards look small in his hands as he sweeps them all up, packs them neat and shuffles them. ‘Who’s in?’

‘I’m going to bed,’ Lo says, yawning and putting her arms up high as though she needs to prove it to us.

‘I could do with an early night too,’ I say.

‘Bed already?’ Ma asks.

‘I reckon so,’ Lo says and we get up together, like twins from the womb. I lean over to kiss Da. My ma sweeps her fingers over her forehead before touching my own, passing her good dreams to me.

‘Sweet dreams,’ she says as she does the same to Lo.

My shoes feel cold as I put them on, Lo holding my arm to stop herself from toppling.

‘Night all,’ she says, before we close the door on them.

I’d forgotten about the rain. It’s not too strong, but it’s reminding us it’s there. Lo runs to Terini, jumps up the steps and unlocks our door. She holds it open to me, with one arm behind her.

‘I won’t be long,’ I say. I know she’s confused. ‘I just need to see someone.’ I’m walking away, so that she can’t ask too many questions and I won’t have to lie.

‘Ash?’ she asks.

I wave my hand at her. ‘Don’t worry,’ I say. ‘I’ll be back soon.’ And I run quickly round the edge of the big top so that she can no longer see me.

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