Laura L. Smith - Anxiety For Dummies

Whichever sources, techniques, or strategies you select, overcoming anxiety will be one of the most rewarding challenges that you ever undertake. The endeavor may scare you at first, and the going may start slow and have its ups and downs. But if you stick with it, we believe that you’ll find a way out of the quicksand of anxiety and onto the solid ground of acceptance.

Chapter 2

IN THIS CHAPTER

Determining whether you have a problem with anxiety

Looking at symptoms of anxiety

Uncovering anxiety companions

Anxious feelings sprout up for most folks here and there and are completely normal. In certain situations, anxiety is a perfectly understandable reaction. For example, if you’re driving in a snowstorm and your car starts to spin out of control, feeling anxious makes sense. Or, if you are in the middle of a pandemic and the numbers of infections keep rising, well, if you didn’t feel a bit anxious, we’d worry about you. But sometimes anxiety signals something more serious. When anxiety is not tightly connected to realistic concerns and interferes with your ability to function day to day, it’s a good time to worry about your anxiety.

To get a feel for the difference between something as serious as an anxiety disorder and a normal reaction, read the following description and imagine ten minutes in the life of Viktoria.

Viktoriafeels restless and shifts her weight from foot to foot. Walking forward a little, she notices a slight tightening in her chest. Her breathing quickens. She feels an odd mixture of excitement and mounting tension. She sits down and does her best to relax, but the anxiety continues to intensify. Her body suddenly jerks forward; she grips the sides of her seat and clenches her teeth to choke back a scream. Her stomach feels like it might come up through her throat. She feels her heart race and her face flush. Tiffany’s emotions run wild. Dizziness, fear, and a rushing sensation overtake her. The feelings all come in waves — one after the other.

You may wonder what’s wrong with poor Viktoria. Maybe she has an anxiety disorder. Or possibly she’s suffering a nervous breakdown. Perhaps she’s going crazy. No, Viktoria actually wanted to feel scared and anxious!

You see, she was at an amusement park. She handed her ticket to the attendant and buckled herself into a roller coaster. After that, you probably understand the rest of her experience. Viktoria doesn’t have a problem with anxiety, she isn’t suffering a nervous breakdown, and she isn’t going crazy. As her story illustrates, the symptoms of anxiety can be ordinary and sometimes even desired reactions to life.

In this chapter, we help you figure out whether you’re suffering from problematic anxiety, everyday anxiety, or something else. We take a close look at all the different forms and symptoms of anxiety. Then, we discuss some of the other emotional disorders that often accompany anxiety.

Mental health professionals refer to emotional problems as disorders. For example, instead of saying you’re depressed, they say you have a depressive disorder or some other type of mood disorder. A reasonable case can be made for using the term “disorder.” Although we use the word from time to time, we prefer to think of so-called disorders as normal reactions to a combination of biological, genetic, environmental, and interpersonal factors, as well as learned behaviors and problematic thoughts.

Imagine a life with no anxiety at all. How wonderful! You wake up every morning anticipating nothing but pleasant experiences. You fear nothing. The future holds only sweet security and joy.

Think again. With no anxiety, when the guy in the car in front of you slams on the brakes, your response will be slower because your body doesn’t react quickly to danger, and you’ll be more likely to crash. With no worries about the future, your retirement may end up bleak because your lack of worry caused you to not save for the future. The total absence of anxiety may cause you to walk into a work presentation unprepared or not bother studying for an important test.

Anxiety is good for you! It prepares you to take action. It mobilizes your body for emergencies. It warns you about danger. Be glad you have some anxiety. Your anxiety helps you stay out of trouble. See the sidebar “Anxiety and driving while Black” for suggestions about how normal anxiety may help protect young Black drivers.

All parents of teenagers who are learning to drive are anxious. If you’ve ever been in the car with a brand-new driver, you understand what we’re talking about. When the teen finally gets a license, the fear persists for some months. Will my daughter remember to stop at stop signs or make a turn without crashing into the curb? Will my son speed or try to show off while driving with his friends?

But if you are a parent of a Black teen driver (especially males), your worries multiply. Will my son be pulled over and know exactly what to say and do? What do I tell him to help him stay safe? Though it isn’t fair or reasonable, parents of Black teens have to give “the talk.” Usually the talk contains a few important elements that are useful for most people who get pulled over, but essential for persons of color. Here are a few items that usually get covered in the talk:

While the officer approaches the car, roll down the window, turn off the ignition, and place your hands at the top of the steering wheel.

Don’t move your hands unless instructed to do so.

When asked for license and registration, move slowly and tell the officer what you are doing, especially if you need to access the glove compartment.

Be polite and cooperate.

Do what the officer asks.

It’s not a good idea to argue or be defensive.

Do not run or resist arrest.

Don’t make statements about what did or did not happen until you can talk to an attorney.

Again, it’s unfair that people of color must take greater care during police encounters than others. But statistics tell us that persons of color have a greater chance of being hurt or killed at a traffic stop. This is a time when a good dose of anxiety may save a life.

Anxiety poses a problem for you when

It lasts uncomfortably long or occurs too often. For example, if you have disturbing levels of anxiety most days for more than a few weeks, you have reason for concern.

It interferes with doing what you want to do. Thus, if anxiety wakes you up at night, causes you to make mistakes at work, or keeps you from going where you want to go, it’s getting in the way.

It exceeds the level of actual danger or risk. For example, if your body and mind feel like an avalanche is about to bury you but all you’re doing is taking a test for school, your anxiety has gone too far.

You struggle to control your worries, but they keep on coming. Even when you’re relaxing at the beach or on your most comfortable recliner, anxious thoughts continually run through your mind.