GEORGE SHAW - Collected Works

LUCIUS. The odds are against you, Caesar. I go. ( He turns to go out through the loggia. )

RUFIO ( full of wrath at seeing his prey escaping ). That means that he is a Republican.

LUCIUS ( turning defiantly on the loggia steps ). And what are you?

RUFIO. A Caesarian, like all Caesar’s soldiers.

CAESAR ( courteously ). Lucius: believe me, Caesar is no Caesarian. Were Rome a true republic, then were Caesar the first of Republicans. But you have made your choice. Farewell.

LUCIUS. Farewell. Come, Achillas, whilst there is yet time.

Caesar, seeing that Rufio’s temper threatens to get the worse of him, puts his hand on his shoulder and brings him down the hall out of harm’s way, Britannus accompanying them and posting himself on Caesar’s right hand. This movement brings the three in a little group to the place occupied by Achillas, who moves haughtily away and joins Theodotus on the other side. Lucius Septimius goes out through the soldiers in the loggia. Pothinus, Theodotus and Achillas follow him with the courtiers, very mistrustful of the soldiers, who close up in their rear and go out after them, keeping them moving without much ceremony. The King is left in his chair, piteous, obstinate, with twitching face and fingers. During these movements Rufio maintains an energetic grumbling, as follows:—

RUFIO ( as Lucius departs ). Do you suppose he would let us go if he had our heads in his hands?

CAESAR. I have no right to suppose that his ways are any baser than mine.

RUFIO. Psha!

CAESAR. Rufio: if I take Lucius Septimius for my model, and become exactly like him, ceasing to be Caesar, will you serve me still?

BRITANNUS. Caesar: this is not good sense. Your duty to Rome demands that her enemies should be prevented from doing further mischief. ( Caesar, whose delight in the moral eye-to-business of his British secretary is inexhaustible, smiles intelligently. )

RUFIO. It is no use talking to him, Britannus: you may save your breath to cool your porridge. But mark this, Caesar. Clemency is very well for you; but what is it for your soldiers, who have to fight to-morrow the men you spared yesterday? You may give what orders you please; but I tell you that your next victory will be a massacre, thanks to your clemency. I , for one, will take no prisoners. I will kill my enemies in the field; and then you can preach as much clemency as you please: I shall never have to fight them again. And now, with your leave, I will see these gentry off the premises. ( He turns to go. )

CAESAR ( turning also and seeing Ptolemy ). What! Have they left the boy alone! Oh shame, shame!

RUFIO ( taking Ptolemy’s hand and making him rise ). Come, your majesty!

PTOLEMY ( to Caesar, drawing away his hand from Rufio ). Is he turning me out of my palace?

RUFIO ( grimly ). You are welcome to stay if you wish.

CAESAR ( kindly ). Go, my boy. I will not harm you; but you will be safer away, among your friends. Here you are in the lion’s mouth.

PTOLEMY ( turning to go ). It is not the lion I fear, but ( looking at Rufio ) the jackal. ( He goes out through the loggia. )

CAESAR ( laughing approvingly ). Brave boy!

CLEOPATRA ( jealous of Caesar’s approbation, calling after Ptolemy ). Little silly. You think that very clever.

CAESAR. Britannus: Attend the King. Give him in charge to that Pothinus fellow. ( Britannus goes out after Ptolemy. )

RUFIO ( pointing to Cleopatra ). And this piece of goods? What is to be done with her ? However, I suppose I may leave that to you. ( He goes out through the loggia. )

CLEOPATRA ( flushing suddenly and turning on Caesar ). Did you mean me to go with the rest?

CAESAR ( a little preoccupied, goes with a sigh to Ptolemy’s chair, whilst she waits for his answer with red cheeks and clenched fists ). You are free to do just as you please, Cleopatra.

CLEOPATRA. Then you do not care whether I stay or not?

CAESAR ( smiling ). Of course I had rather you stayed.

CLEOPATRA. Much, much rather?

CAESAR ( nodding ). Much, much rather.

CLEOPATRA. Then I consent to stay, because I am asked. But I do not want to, mind.

CAESAR. That is quite understood. ( Calling ) Totateeta.

Ftatateeta, still seated, turns her eyes on him with a sinister expression, but does not move.

CLEOPATRA ( with a splutter of laughter ). Her name is not Totateeta: it is Ftatateeta. ( Calling ) Ftatateeta. ( Ftatateeta instantly rises and comes to Cleopatra. )

CAESAR ( stumbling over the name ). Tfatafeeta will forgive the erring tongue of a Roman. Tota: the Queen will hold her state here in Alexandria. Engage women to attend upon her; and do all that is needful.

FTATATEETA. Am I then the mistress of the Queen’s household?

CLEOPATRA ( sharply ). No: I am the mistress of the Queen’s household. Go and do as you are told, or I will have you thrown into the Nile this very afternoon, to poison the poor crocodiles.

CAESAR ( shocked ). Oh no, no.

CLEOPATRA. Oh yes, yes. You are very sentimental, Caesar; but you are clever; and if you do as I tell you, you will soon learn to govern.

Caesar, quite dumbfounded by this impertinence, turns in his chair and stares at her.

Ftatateeta, smiling grimly, and showing a splendid set of teeth, goes, leaving them alone together.

CAESAR. Cleopatra: I really think I must eat you, after all.

CLEOPATRA ( kneeling beside him and looking at him with eager interest, half real, half affected to shew how intelligent she is ). You must not talk to me now as if I were a child.

CAESAR. You have been growing up since the Sphinx introduced us the other night; and you think you know more than I do already.

CLEOPATRA ( taken down, and anxious to justify herself ). No: that would be very silly of me: of course I know that. But—( suddenly ) are you angry with me?

CAESAR. No.

CLEOPATRA ( only half believing him ). Then why are you so thoughtful?

CAESAR ( rising ). I have work to do, Cleopatra.

CLEOPATRA ( drawing back ). Work! ( Offended ) You are tired of talking to me; and that is your excuse to get away from me.

CAESAR ( sitting down again to appease her ). Well, well: another minute. But then—work!

CLEOPATRA. Work! What nonsense! You must remember that you are a King now: I have made you one. Kings don’t work.

CAESAR. Oh! Who told you that, little kitten? Eh?

CLEOPATRA. My father was King of Egypt; and he never worked. But he was a great king, and cut off my sister’s head because she rebelled against him and took the throne from him.

CAESAR. Well; and how did he get his throne back again?

CLEOPATRA ( eagerly, her eyes lighting up ). I will tell you. A beautiful young man, with strong round arms, came over the desert with many horsemen, and slew my sister’s husband and gave my father back his throne. ( Wistfully ) I was only twelve then. Oh, I wish he would come again, now that I am a Queen. I would make him my husband.

CAESAR. It might be managed, perhaps; for it was I who sent that beautiful young man to help your father.

CLEOPATRA ( enraptured ). You know him!

CAESAR ( nodding ). I do.

CLEOPATRA. Has he come with you? ( Caesar shakes his head: she is cruelly disappointed. ) Oh, I wish he had, I wish he had. If only I were a little older; so that he might not think me a mere kitten, as you do! But perhaps that is because you are old. He is many, many years younger than you, is he not?