Tania Luna - The Leader Lab

1 out of 7 Core BUs collected. 0 of 8 Core Skills collected.

The next BU we stumbled upon in our research on what makes great managers different is a behavior that is so subtle we nearly missed it. We even doubted its significance until we realized it had also been identified as one of the most important BUs for a wide range of professionals, including physicians, psychologists, salespeople, consultants, lawyers, pilots, and hostage negotiators. This powerhouse BU goes by many names. At LifeLabs Learning, we call it the “ Playback.”

A Playbackis a paraphrase of what you heard someone say. Why does it help you become a great manager faster? Take a look at the following conversation. We're now a few weeks into Mia's role as a manager, and Olivia is starting to open up about her challenges at work. Notice where Playbackscould have made it a better conversation:

At first Mia is proud that she got to practice her question skills, but something felt off. She decides to hit her handy Do-Over Button to go back and Playback:

In both versions, Mia has good intentions. But while taking breaks and vacation days are lovely things to do (and we highly recommend them), this advice does little to solve the underlying problem that Olivia faces: figuring how to start that project. So, what is it about Playbacksthat makes them so useful?

When someone comes to you with a problem, their thoughts are often a tangled web. This is especially the case when they are tinged with strong emotions. Using a Playbackis a quick way to ensure you understand their problem. What's more, when people hear their words played back to them, it helps them simplify the complexity of their thoughts. Research has long shown that the mere act of talking out loud leads to faster problem-solving (Gagné and Smith Jr. 1962; Lupyan and Swingley 2011). Why? It's likely thanks to a neuropsychology hack called “spreading activation”: as we start talking, our thoughts spread to different associations, drawing on more of our neural resources faster. Yes, fellow introverts, this even applies to us.

Playbacksare also an efficient way to prevent misunderstandings. Hear an incorrect Playback? This is your chance to fix it before it becomes a problem. As a chilling example: a manager we interviewed told us about a $500,000 loss her company sustained within 24 hours because no one confirmed their understanding of the plan. One person assumed it was obvious they had to submit signed paperwork to their client, while the rest of the team assumed a verbal agreement was sufficient. (In case you're wondering, the paperwork was not optional.) “When I worked in carpentry, we always said, ‘Measure twice, cut once,’” the manager told us. “After seeing a bunch of people almost lose their jobs over a miscommunication, I'll never forget that Playbacksare my ‘measure twice’ mechanism.”

Playbacksprovide instant confirmation of understanding. For us humans, being truly understood is one of the sweetest (and sadly, also rarest) psychological sensations. Understanding leads to faster trust-building, which results in people being more willing to share their thoughts and feelings with each other.

If the benefits of Playbackssound soft and/or squishy, think of the hours of your life you've already lost to rambling conversations, unproductive conflict, team members avoiding tough conversations, and plain old misunderstandings. Life is too short to go another day without Playbacks. (Yep, that's how passionate we are about this BU.) So, how do you do a Playback? Here are a few different Playbacktypes to try out: