Tania Luna - The Leader Lab

In the conversation with Luca, we missed out on learning the source of his disappointment (not getting to make process improvements). And the conversation with Olivia got stuck in the binary (should we get an intern or not?) rather than uncovering her prioritization challenge. Just as a good physician would never prescribe medicine without first diagnosing the illness, a good manager cannot offer advice without first understanding the problem. Even though it might seem quicker to jump to a solution, a great solution to the wrong problem is still the wrong solution. The Q-stephelps you diagnose faster, so it also helps you solve the right problem faster.

In her do-over conversations, Mia wasn't solving her team members’ problems for them. Instead, her questions helped them clarify their thinking. The result? She also helped speed up problem-solving skill building they can apply to countless other situations. She was a catalyst. Without these developmental moments, managers become problem-solving bottlenecks, making it hard for the team to scale (and nearly impossible for the manager to take a vacation).

The “resolutions” in Mia's original conversations came with a heavy tax. She never learned about Luca's hopes, and Olivia left less likely to propose ideas in the future. As we'll share in more detail in Chapter 11, autonomy is at the heart of engagement. Research shows that when people play a leading role in solving their own problems, they shift from mere compliance – doing what they're told, into commitment – having the drive to achieve results (Deci and Ryan 2008).

So we know great managers ask more questions than average. But there is more to this finding. When we asked our research participants if asking questions came naturally to them, we were surprised to hear common answers like this:

“No! Solving problems comes naturally to me! Especially when I was a new manager, it actually felt painful to ask a question instead of jumping in with a good answer. I'd get so frustrated as I waited for my direct reports to figure things out on their own – especially when we were short on time.”

While a few managers said that questions were easy to ask, the majority reported at least some difficulty – with some answers bordering on suffering. This internal struggle makes sense. Most people become managers after they've had a stint as successful “makers.” But the skillsets of these two roles are vastly different, much like the difference between soloists and conductors. Individual contributors succeed when they solve problems. Managers succeed when they help others solve problems.

When you transition from maker to manager, you have to learn to ignore the very instincts that made you successful in the past, and you have to deal with the delay of gratification that comes with waiting for others to achieve results. Most managers we interviewed understood that asking questions was essential, but they had to exercise restraint to change their problem-solving habits.

This push-pull of craving the instant gratification of giving an answer and wanting to invest in asking questions is oddly similar to the taxi driver study LeeAnn conducted at the University of Vienna. In cities across the world, taxi drivers honk horns. They honk to signal information, they honk to avoid danger, and they honk just because it feels good. It turns out that many taxi drivers honk even when they risk consequences like fines, angry drivers, and being stuck in traffic with a lot of other horn honkers. The solution to needless honking? Having the drivers label their “honk urge.” As soon as they felt the need to honk, they called it out – a strategy referred to in psychology as “name it to tame it” (Lieberman et al. 2007). This simple intervention bought them just enough time to question whether honking was worth it.

Similarly, when we asked great managers to talk us through their thought process when someone came to them with a problem, we noticed that many trained themselves out of Telling Mode and into Questions Mode as their default. They still felt that honk urge, but they had established a new habit: ask at least one question before telling, or doing the Q-step.

Now that you've gotten to ride along through time with Mia, get some Q-steppingpractice for yourself. Take a look at the following scenarios and decide how you would respond if you went into Telling Mode, then pivot to a Q-stepby asking at least one question.

There are countless great questions you can Q-stepwith (we'll share some of our favorites throughout this book), but we are not suggesting that you travel so far back in time that you transform into Socrates. Remember how that turned out for him? The great managers we studied had plenty to say and said it often. The distinct BU that made them different is that they Q-stepped before telling, even if that meant asking just one question.

***

In summary:Notice when you have the urge to go into Telling Mode and switch into Questions Mode by Q-stepping(asking at least one question). Why? Questions help you diagnose the underlying problem, develop people's skills, and catalyze commitment. Now it's time to fill in your Lab Report so you can develop your Q-stephabit faster. What do you think about that? (See what we did there?)

MY LAB REPORT	Today's Date:
My takeaways:
I regularly Q-step before telling:	1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (strongly disagree)(strongly agree)
Experiment idea bank:	If someone asks me a question, then I'll Q-step by asking, “What are your thoughts?” If I want to give advice, then I'll Q-step first.If someone makes a suggestion I disagree with, then I'll Q-step.
One small experiment I'll try to increase my score by 1 point:
Post-experiment Learning Extractions:

Bonus:Want to take your manager skills to the next level? Check out the bonus Inclusion Stations at leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.