Eva Illouz - The End of Love

13 6. Divorce as a Negative Relationship The End of Love Divorce and Women’s Position in the Emotional Field The Narrative Structure of Departing Sexuality: The Great Separation Consumer Objects: From Transitional to Exiting Objects Autonomy and Attachment: The Difficult Couple Emotional Ontologies and Non-Binding Emotional Contracts Emotional Competence and Women’s Position in the Relational Process Notes

14 Conclusion: Negative Relations and the Butterfly Politics of Sex Notes

15 Bibliography

16 Index

17 End User License Agreement

1 Cover

2 Table of Contents

3 Endorsement

4 Title Page

5 Copyright

6 Dedication

7 Epigraph

8 Acknowledgments

9 Begin Reading

10 Conclusion: Negative Relations and the Butterfly Politics of Sex

11 Bibliography

12 Index

13 End User License Agreement

1 a

2 iii

3 iv

4 v

5 ix

6 x

7 1

8 3

9 4

10 5

11 6

12 7

13 8

14 9

15 10

16 11

17 12

18 13

19 14

20 15

21 16

22 17

23 18

24 19

25 20

26 21

27 22

28 23

29 24

30 25

31 26

32 27

33 28

34 29

35 30

36 31

37 32

38 33

39 34

40 35

41 36

42 37

43 38

44 39

45 40

46 41

47 42

48 43

49 44

50 45

51 46

52 47

53 48

54 49

55 50

56 51

57 52

58 53

59 54

60 55

61 56

62 57

63 58

64 59

65 60

66 61

67 62

68 63

69 64

70 65

71 66

72 67

73 68

74 69

75 70

76 71

77 72

78 73

79 74

80 75

81 76

82 77

83 78

84 79

85 80

86 81

87 82

88 83

89 84

90 85

91 86

92 87

93 88

94 89

95 90

96 91

97 92

98 93

99 94

100 95

101 96

102 97

103 98

104 99

105 100

106 101

107 102

108 103

109 104

110 105

111 106

112 107

113 108

114 109

115 110

116 111

117 112

118 113

119 114

120 115

121 116

122 117

123 118

124 119

125 120

126 121

127 122

128 123

129 124

130 125

131 126

132 127

133 128

134 129

135 130

136 131

137 132

138 133

139 134

140 135

141 136

142 137

143 138

144 139

145 140

146 141

147 142

148 143

149 144

150 145

151 146

152 147

153 148

154 149

155 150

156 151

157 152

158 153

159 154

160 155

161 156

162 157

163 158

164 159

165 160

166 161

167 162

168 163

169 164

170 165

171 166

172 167

173 168

174 169

175 170

176 171

177 172

178 173

179 174

180 175

181 176

182 177

183 178

184 179

185 180

186 181

187 182

188 183

189 184

190 185

191 186

192 187

193 188

194 189

195 190

196 191

197 192

198 193

199 194

200 195

201 196

202 197

203 198

204 199

205 200

206 201

207 202

208 203

209 204

210 205

211 206

212 207

213 208

214 209

215 210

216 211

217 212

218 213

219 214

220 215

221 216

222 217

223 218

224 219

225 220

226 221

227 222

228 223

229 224

230 225

231 226

232 227

233 228

234 229

235 277

236 278

237 279

238 280

239 281

240 282

241 283

242 284

243 285

244 286

245 287

246 288

247 289

248 290

249 291

250 292

251 293

252 294

253 295

254 296

255 297

256 298

257 299

258 300

259 301

260 302

261 303

262 306

263 307

264 308

265 309

266 310

267 311

268 312

269 313

270 314

“Eva Illouz presents a bleak but fascinating analysis of what the modern world has done to love … The great French novelist Honoré de Balzac said he wanted to be the historian of the human heart. The Franco-Israeli sociologist Eva Illouz might be called the historian of human heartbreak.”

The Irish Times

“Eva Illouz’s work combines theoretical sophistication with a sharp eye for what’s essential in contemporary culture. This singular blend has made her an intellectual star of the European world. The End of Love , the fruit of twenty years of reflection about the ways in which 21st-century emotions are inevitably bound up with consumer capitalism, will show American readers too why Illouz is one of the most important thinkers of her generation.”

Susan Neiman, Director of the Einstein Forum

“ The End of Love is a provocative new installment in Eva Illouz’s two­ decades-long interrogation of the relations between the modern idea of love and the cultures of capitalism. As contemporary capitalism thrives on dislocation, disruption, casualness, uncertainty, and precarity, Illouz draws attention to a corresponding morphing of sexual relations and inner life. Our contemporary culture, she shows, is suffused with practices of ‘unloving’, of quickly forming and dissolving intimate ties in a quest for self­empowerment understood as radical autonomy and the exercise of free choice. Written with passion, insight, and breathtaking scope, it is the best sociological examination of the disorganization of emotional life wrought by the capitalist market, consumer culture, and the paradoxes of freedom.”

Gil Eyal, Columbia University

EVA ILLOUZ

polity

Originally published in German as Warum Liebe endet: Eine Soziologie negativer Beziehungen

©Eva Illouz 2018

© Suhrkamp Verlag Berlin 2018

All rights reserved by and controlled through Suhrkamp Verlag Berlin

First published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press in 2019

English Translation © Oxford University Press 2019

This edition published by Polity Press 2021

Polity Press

65 Bridge Street

Cambridge CB2 1UR, UK

Polity Press

101 Station Landing

Suite 300

Medford, MA 02155, USA

All rights reserved. Except for the quotation of short passages for the purpose of criticism and review, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

ISBN-13: 978-1-5095-5026-5

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

The publisher has used its best endeavors to ensure that the URLs for external websites referred to in this book are correct and active at the time of going to press. However, the publisher has no responsibility for the websites and can make no guarantee that a site will remain live or that the content is or will remain appropriate.

Every effort has been made to trace all copyright holders, but if any have been overlooked the publisher will be pleased to include any necessary credits in any subsequent reprint or edition.