Logan J. Davisson - The Colors Of A Optimistic World

The cause of low self-esteem is often childhood. Not all people were allowed to experience through their parents how important, loving and strong they are. But don't worry, you can catch up at any time. Instead of often reproaching your own weaknesses and making them your personal flagship and comparing yourself with supposedly unattainable idols, you should treat yourself with a lot of love, respect and patience. This includes accepting external compliments, praising oneself regularly for success and progress, and not comparing oneself with other people. Other people are not in your situation and simply have different prerequisites. Two lives cannot be compared. It's better to compare yourself with yourself and see your progress!

In order to silence the inner critic, you should take a little time every day to play through critically judged behaviors again and to consider alternative behaviors. The neighbour treated you again unbelievably disrespectful, because your shopping basket stood in the stairwell for a few seconds? Have you been able to defend yourself self-confidently and self-confidently or have the words got stuck in your throat? Then consider for such situations how to put an end to these unsightly encounters the next time respectfully, clearly and unambiguously.

Finding acceptance and perceiving the feedback

Accept your current situation, your feelings and also your physical condition. That sound funny to you? Accepting the current situation is nevertheless a logical and important step. What triggers it in you if you don't want to accept a fact? Most likely tension! And tension is a clear messenger of impending stress, because at that very moment you have made a negative judgement about a condition. You already know that your personal attitude to the circumstances controls your emotions regarding this condition.

So it is not surprising if you get into unnecessary and additional stress due to the lack of acceptance of your situation. I'm not saying that you should suddenly love your back pain or consider your current situation perfect, but I'm simply recommending that you see the situation for what it is: a changeable condition. So you have the possibility to perceive your feelings and your physical signals exactly and to accept them without judgement. You may perceive all your negative emotions and also the physical consequences of long-term stress and imbalance exactly as such messages. The moment you perceive your emotional and physical feedback without judgment, you have made a great step! You have, so to speak, carried out an inventory or an inventory of your situation and can initiate optimizing steps based on this.

Not everyone is able to practice self-acceptance right away. It may be helpful if you take at least 15 minutes a day to take stock. You write down which aspects of your current situation you do not want to accept and then try to accept exactly these aspects as an expression of a changeable state: "I accept that I am very irritable at the moment. This is an expression of a momentary overload." You will quickly notice that you will move away from critical thinking about yourself and your situation to a focused problem-solving attitude!

Practice a positive attitude - Look at things from a different angle

It is often not the situations themselves that put us under stress, but our assessment of the situation. So to consider a positive attitude towards stressful situations, i.e. to look at the situation from a completely new perspective, can actually reduce the pressure and stress. And even if at first it may sound as if you are lying to yourself, this new optimism will soon become a happy habit of an attentive and balanced attitude. From now on, devote at least 15 minutes a day to finding out how to redefine and evaluate stressful situations.

Here is an example: The conflict-laden relationship with the neighbours was previously a reason to lapse into a tense state. In other words, the conflict-laden relationship with the neighbours could be a wonderful occasion for spatial change, for a new beginning or for learning a wide variety of conflict management techniques. Even the queue at the supermarket checkout does not necessarily have to be evaluated negatively. This can also be a good way to write a short, nice message to your best friend, download an interesting book to your smartphone or talk to people around you.

During your daily reflection you write down which situations have caused stress in you. In a second step, try to look at the situation as objectively as possible. A defective car is a defective car and does not have to become a medium-sized family drama. What alternative perspectives could you throw at this situation? Does the situation that triggers the stress possibly also have its advantages or does it even offer opportunities for further development? The more impersonal you look at a particular situation, the more likely you are to change your perspective on the situation and see the positive aspects of it all.

Abandoning self-pity and the role of victim

Bathing in self-pity and surrendering to the role of victim is not difficult at all. And sometimes it does us good, because it gives us an extra motivation kick to develop ourselves further in life and to dare new things. So self- pity can have its good sides, as long as we don't sink completely into it. Life doesn't always run in perfect tracks, but often gives us the opportunity to make another real effort. If self-pity becomes a habit, however, then there is not much to feel of the healing effect and we drift off into a kind of victim role. This means that we no longer take responsibility for our current situation, but feel helpless, ignored, excluded and worthless. That's the opposite of self-confidence.

In the long run, this can lead to listlessness and even depression. As soon as we feel comfortable in the victim role, we hand over the responsibility. After all, the perpetrators, the others who are doing well, are the culprits and life itself has played unfair cards to you. Then it is high time to take responsibility for your own situation again and ask yourself: How could it have come to this? What have I contributed to this situation? And how can I avoid such events in the future? To work oneself out of the victim role means to practice oneself in self-reflection and relentless honesty towards oneself. So, if you show more self-pity than compassion for yourself, it's time to keep a record of the most common self-pity scenarios and the corresponding research to break down these long- established structures.

Keep a stress log

Keeping a stress log can help determine the actual causes of the stress response. Many people overlook the signs of a stress response, but this is exactly when an intervention could take place. So take at least a week to observe yourself closely. Pay attention to the following points:

- What are the signs of an impending stress response?

- What physical and psychological symptoms of stress can I perceive in myself?

- When do I react stressed

- What thoughts do I have in this stressful situation?

- Where does the pressure that leads to the stress reaction come from? External or internal factors (external circumstances or expectations of yourself)?

- How do I deal with the stress?

You will use this protocol to quickly find out in which situations you feel stressed, how the stress normally manifests itself, and how you usually deal with that stress. This helps you not only to recognize approaching stress situations in the future, but also to steer your behavior more attentively. A further step, after recognizing individual behavior patterns, is the rethinking. Some of the methods presented in this book will help you create a new perspective on immutable situations. In addition, you can consider which reaction you can use to make stressful situations less stressful.