Michael Crichton - Pirate Latitudes

“Umm-hmmm,” Hunter said, in a high-pitched voice. He sat down next to her clothes.

“Robert says he is nought but a common rogue and pirate,” she said. “But Robert pays me so little attention. I was the favorite of the king - now there is a merry man and no mistake. But this Captain Hunter, he is so handsome. Does he have the favors of many women in the town, do you know?”

Hunter did not answer. He watched Mrs. Hacklett splashing.

“I expect he must do. He has that look in his eye which melts the hardest heart. And he is obviously strong and brave; no woman could fail to notice that. And his fingers and nose are of goodly length, which bodes well for his attentions. Does he have a favorite in the town, Sarah?”

Hunter did not answer.

“His Majesty has long fingers, and he is wonderfully well-suited for the bedroom.” She giggled. “I should not be saying this, Sarah.”

Hunter still said nothing.

“Sarah?” she said, turning. And she saw Hunter, sitting there grinning at her.

“Don’t you know it is unhealthy to bathe?” Hunter said.

She splashed about angrily. “All that has been spoken of you is true,” she complained. “You are a dastardly, uncouth, utterly foul man and truly no gentleman.”

“Were you expecting a gentleman today?”

She splashed more. “Certainly I expected more than a common sneak and thief. Leave this spot now, so that I may dress myself.”

“I find this spot most amiable,” Hunter said.

“You refuse to leave?”

She was very angry. In the clear water, Hunter could see that she was rather too thin for his taste, a small-breasted, bony woman with a pinched face. But her anger aroused him.

“Indeed, I fear I do refuse.”

“Then sir, I have misjudged you. I thought you would extend common courtesy and ordinary good manners to a woman at a disadvantage.”

“What is your disadvantage?” Hunter asked.

“I am plainly naked, sir.”

“So I see.”

“And this spring is cold.”

“Is it?”

“It is indeed.”

“You have just perceived this?”

“Sir, I shall ask you once more to cease this impertinence and allow me a moment’s privacy to dry and clothe myself.”

In reply, Hunter walked down to the edge of the water, took her hand, and hauled her onto the rock, where she stood dripping and shivering, despite the warmth of the sun. She glared at him.

“You’ll catch your death of chill,” he said, grinning at her discomfiture.

“Then let us be equal,” she said, and abruptly pushed him, fully clothed, into the water.

He landed with a splash, and felt a shock as the icy water touched his body. It made him gasp for breath. He floundered about, while she stood on the rock, laughing at him.

“Madam,” he said, struggling. “Madam, I beseech you.”

She continued to laugh.

“Madam,” he said, “I cannot swim. I pray you to help-” And his head bobbed underwater a moment.

“A seafaring man who cannot swim?” And she laughed more.

“Madam…” was all he could say as he came to the surface then sank again. A moment later, he struggled up, splashing and kicking with no coordination, and she looked at him with concern. She reached out her hand, and he kicked and sputtered toward her.

He took her hand and pulled hard, flinging her high over his head. She screamed loudly, and landed flat on her back, with a stinging slap; she shrieked again as she went under. He laughed when she came to the surface. And helped her out onto the warm rock.

“You are nothing,” she sputtered, “but a bastard, a rogue, a cutthroat vicious rascally whoreson scoundrel.”

“At your service,” Hunter said, and kissed her.

She broke away. “And forward.”

“And forward,” he agreed, and kissed her again.

“I suppose you intend to rape me like a common street woman.”

“I doubt,” Hunter said, stripping off his wet clothing, “that it will be necessary.”

And it was not.

“In daylight?” she said, in a horrified voice, and those were her last intelligible words.

IN THE MIDDLE of the day, Mr. Robert Hacklett confronted Sir James Almont with disturbing news. “The town is rife with rumor,” he said, “that Captain Hunter, the same man with whom we supped yesterday past, is now organizing a piratical expedition against a Spanish dominion, perhaps even Havana.”

“You place credence in these tales?” Almont asked calmly.

“Your Excellency,” Hacklett said, “it is a simple fact that Captain Hunter has caused to have provisions for a sea voyage put aboard his sloop Cassandra.”

“Probably,” Almont said. “What proof is that of crime?”

“Your Excellency,” Hacklett said, “with the greatest respect I must inform you that, by rumor, you have countenanced this excursion, and indeed may have made pecuniary gestures of support.”

“Do you mean I paid for the expedition?” Almont said, a little irritably.

“In words to that effect, Sir James.”

Sir James sighed. “Mr. Hacklett,” he said, “when you have resided here a little longer - let us say, perhaps, a week - you will come to know that it is always the rumor that I have countenanced an excursion, and have paid for it.”

“Then the rumors are groundless?”

“To this extent: I have given papers to Captain Hunter authorizing him to engage in logwood cutting at any convenient place. That is the extent of my interest in the matter.”

“And where shall he cut this logwood?”

“I’ve no notion,” Almont said. “Probably the Mosquito Coast of Honduras. That is the ordinary place.”

“Your Excellency,” Hacklett persisted, “may I respectfully remind you that in this era of peace between our nation and Spain, the cutting of logwood represents an irritant which might easily be avoided?”

“You may so remind me,” Almont said, “but I judge you to be incorrect. Many lands in these parts are claimed by Spain and yet they have no habitation - no town, no colonists, no citizenry on these lands. In the absence of such proofs of dominion, I find the cutting of logwood to be unobjectionable.”

“Your Excellency,” Hacklett said, “can you not agree that what begins as a logwood-cutting expedition, even granting the wisdom of what you say, may easily turn into a piratical venture?”

“Easily? Not easily, Mr. Hacklett.”

TO HIS MOST SACRED MAJESTY CHARLES, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, OF GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND, KING, DEFENDER OF THE FAITH, ETC.

THE HUMBLE PETITION OF THE DEPUTY-GOVERNOR OF HIS MAJESTY’S PLANTATIONS AND LANDS IN JAMAICA, IN THE WEST INDIES.

Humbly sheweth

That I, Your Majesty’s most loyal subject, having been charged by Your Majesty with the promulgation of the Court’s feelings and desires on the matter of piratical ventures in the West Indies; and having made known by delivery of epistle and oral pronouncement to Sir James Almont, Governor of the aforementioned land of Jamaica, these same feelings and desires, I must report that little attention is given to the cessation and suppression of piracy in these parts. On the contrary, I must sadly if honestly state that Sir James himself consorts with all manner of rogue and villain; that he encourages by word, deed and coin the continuance of dastardly and bloody raids on Spanish lands; that he permits use of Port Royal as a common meeting place for these cutthroats and knaves, and for the dispersal of their ill-gotten gains; that he shows no remorse for these activities and no evidence of their future cessation; that he is himself a man unsuited to high capacity by virtue of poor health and lax moral outlook; that he abides all manner of corruption and vice in the name of His Majesty. For all these reasons and proofs, I most humbly implore and petition Your Majesty to remove this man from his position, and to choose, in His Majesty’s great wisdom, a more suitable successor who shall not daily make a mockery of the Crown. I most humbly implore Your Majesty’s royal assent to this simple petition, and shall ever pray. In that continuance, I am, your most faithful, loyal and obedient servant,