Maxim Titovets - TWO PLAYS. MAIDEN FOREST. THE ADVENTURES OF YUMI

Fyodor.Alright. I’ll go now. Remember me kindly.

Natalia.See ya.

Fyodor walks along the path towards the banya, humming an unsophisticated melody.

Alexey.Let’s do it again in about an hour. [He wraps his arms around Natalia’s waist and holds her tight.]

Natalia.You seem to be in a good shape, Alexey.

Alexey.I remember! I remember now where I’ve seen you.

Natalia pulls away from Alexey.

Alexey.A few years ago, there was this Passion Empire massage parlor. It was the time when I was reelected and hit the bottle.

Pause.

Natalia.I recognized you at once this morning, Mister Deputy. Have I really changed so much?

Alexey.But that was another life.

Natalia.I don’t remember. I don’t.

Alexey.«I sought my love in the maiden forest. With a mocking singer, I spent the night in a stack.»

Natalia.Let it be our little secret. [She kisses Alexey on the mouth, stands up, and takes away the dishes from the table.]

Alexey. [He finishes his beer, yawns, and stretches.] Now that’s some good beer. The beer we drank in the banya smacked somehow badly.

The light in the window of the second floor flickers and then goes out.

Natalia.Beer is still beer. Here, have a bite. [She gives him a snack from the table.] Let’s dim the lights down. They attract mosquitos. [She steps up to the light switch at the entrance to the gazebo and dims the lights.]

Alexey.Uh-huh… [Yawning again.] Darkness is a teenagers’ friend. [His head droops down, he lays it on the table and falls asleep.]

Natalia.That’s it. [She takes the bottle of vodka from the table, pours some into her glass, drinks it in one draught without having a snack.] The Rubicon is crossed.

Khlora comes out of the house, bringing Natalia’s clothes with her. Natalia takes her clothes, slips out of the bathrobe, and changes quickly.

Khlora.Veniamin. Old coot. [She takes the bottle of vodka, takes a sip straight out of it, rinses her mouth, spits on the ground.]

Natalia.Is he sleeping?

Khlora.Like a rock. He went out like a lamp.

Natalia.This is good. It means we’re on track.

Natalia takes out her mobile phone and presses the call button.

Natalia.Chopper. We are ready. [She stops the call.] Khlora! In the banya, there is a padlock on the door handle. Go and lock Kolosov down.

Khlora walks along the path towards the banya. At this moment, Chopper and Moray appear by the gate. They quickly enter the garden plot, approach the gazebo. Moray carries a truncheon.

Chopper. [To Moray.] Tie him.

Moray produces a plastic cable tie from the pocket of his jacket. He puts the hands of sleeping Alexey behind his back and ties them up with the cable tie. Then he ties Alexey’s legs, pushes him down from the chair to the floor.

Natalia.Kolosov is in the banya. The third one is inside, on the upper floor.

Moray.Where is Khlora?

Natalia.I sent her to lock the banya. It has no windows, only an air-hole. The old man isn’t going anywhere.

Chopper. [To Moray.] Wait for me here.

Chopper goes inside. Khlora is coming back. She walks along the path from the direction of the banya, holding the key to the padlock. She steps up to Natalia and gives her the key. Moray approaches Khlora, hugs her shoulders, and kisses her neck.

Moray.It’s alright, my darling. You did great.

Chopper comes out of the house, approaches the gazebo. Natalia gives him the key.

Chopper.Relax, Khlora. You’ve done your part. I can be grateful.

Khlora.Screw you.

Natalia.Think about your future, Khlora.

Chopper.Natalia! You know what to do next.

Natalia.Khlora, let’s go.

Moray. [To Khlora.] Soon we will be together. Wait for it.

Natalia and Khlora leave. Chopper and Moray get black balaclavas and put them on.

Chopper.Moray, I need Kolosov alive.

Moray.I’ll deal with it. Not a day in jail went by where I didn’t think about settling scores with this scum.

Chopper.It’s time to pay the piper.

Chopper and Moray go towards the banya. Tatyana enters the garden plot through the gate, walks towards the gazebo with a loaf of bread in her hand. Some bustle and dull thuds can be heard from the banya.

Tatyana.Are they sleeping? It’s not that late, I guess. Hello? Fyodor, where are you all?

Tatyana approaches the gazebo, sees Alexey, and puts the bread on the table.

Tatyana.What kind of joke is that? Alexey, are you alright? Why are your hands tied? [She tugs at Alexey’s shoulder, holds his wrist, and checks the pulse.] The pulse is weak. [She tries to check Alexey’s pupils but cannot see anything in the dark.] He is soaked. It’s like he got food poisoning. [She starts to her feet.] He needs an ambulance. Fyodor, Venya, where are you? [She stops short, hearing the noise and voices of Chopper and Moray.]

Chopper.What a hulk of a man.

Moray.He stroke me with a log.

Chopper.Help him put on his trousers, or he’s gonna freeze his balls off. Kolosov, don’t move. We need to talk.

Moray.You piece of shit! Take that!

Chopper.Now tie down his legs.

Moray.You are ours now.

Chopper.Get him. Don’t move, old man, or you’ll make it worse.

Tatyana finds a place to hide. Chopper and Moray drag Fyodor, beaten and scantily dressed, through the grass. Fyodor’s hands and legs are tied with cable ties, his mouth is taped. Tatyana quickly makes her way towards the gate. She is lurking, waiting. Chopper and Moray do not see her. They drag Fyodor onto the path and stop by the signpost.

Chopper.Hold on! I’ve dropped my phone in the banya. Go and take it.

Moray walks towards the banya. Chopper is waiting for him. Fyodor is lying on the grass.

Moray.Chopper! The door got jammed shut, help me open it.

Chopper.Prick.

Chopper leaves. Tatyana leaves the garden through the gate and bumps into Slav dressed in police uniform.

Slav.Hello there!

Tatyana.Help me! Some bandits attacked my friend!

Slav.We’ll get it all sorted out. Don’t worry. What happened?

Tatyana.You have to call for backup.

Slav.Let’s step aside so no one would see us. What is your name?

Tatyana and Slav leave. The noise of Chopper and Moray trying to open the jammed door can be heard from somewhere around the banya. Fyodor groans. He stirs and tries to break the ties on his hands and legs, raises himself onto his knees in an attempt to get to his feet but falls to the ground.

The end of Act I.

Scene 6

Night. Moray’s house.

Artyom is sitting on a chair, holding the rifle. There is an open box of bullets on the table. Natalia is sitting in the armchair by the stove, with her back to the door. Khlora is taped to a chair, she is gagged.