Maxim Titovets - TWO PLAYS. MAIDEN FOREST. THE ADVENTURES OF YUMI

Fyodor.He must have got parole.

Tatyana.Fyodor, isn’t it dangerous? You told me that Artyom threatened you.

Fyodor.Let’s see them try to come here. I have enough bullets for all of them.

Alexey.You can’t shoot down all the fools.

Ignatych.I’ve deliberately walked past Moray’s house now. All clear.

Fyodor.Thank you, Ignatych.

Tatyana.Maybe they left?

Ignatych.Maybe they did. Who knows what these junkies are up to. Fyodor, just keep in mind that your stepson is roaming free with some crooks in tow. Take care!

Khlora.I’m scared, Natasha. I am so scared…

Natalia.Khlora, it’s too late to change your mind.

Khlora.I didn’t sign up for murder!

Natalia fetches a slap across Khlora’s face.

Natalia.Shut up, you fool of a woman. Are you suicidal? Chopper won’t just let us go.

Khlora.Chopper, this god damned cop, did schmooze you too. Are you fearing for your daughter’s life?

Natalia.I’ll go to any lengths for the sake of my Svetlana. Any.

Khlora.Oh please, Natasha, let me go. Honest to God, I won’t tell anyone!

Natalia.God can hardly help us now.

Khlora.What should we do then?

Natalia.Listen, Khlora. Just do what you should do.

Khlora.It’s terrifying.

Natalia.You will get some money, find a good hospital for your father. Think of yourself too. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!

Khlora.It’s like jumping into the deep end.

Natalia.Here, take it. You are going to add one tablet to Veniamin’s drink. He stared at you so longingly this morning.

Khlora.A funny old chap. [She takes the tablets and puts them in her pocket.]

Natalia.I will handle Alexey. We will get the job done and make enough money for years ahead. Chopper delivers on his promises.

Khlora.Chopper is a douchebag. A werewolf! Why did Ivan even consort with him?

Natalia.Don’t be afraid. Chopper is dancing to someone else’s pipe too.

Khlora.If only I knew who is the boss.

Natalia.The less you know, the longer you live. We’ll put those old men to sleep and you and Moray will get your fair share. You will be able to skip this town forever. And I will get my daughter back.

Khlora.Easier said than done. And what if those old guys die? This would make me a sinner.

Natalia.There is no repentance without a sin.

Khlora.And if we repent, will we be saved?

Pause.

Natalia.Have you already told Moray?

Khlora. [She lays her hands upon her belly but quickly takes them off.] No. Ivan doesn’t know anything.

Natalia.It’s for the best. You will tell him the good news when it’s all over.

Khlora.He swears by God that he loves me. A funny little fellow.

Natalia.Think about your future, Khlora.

Khlora.No one ever loved me.

Natalia.You’ve got a chance to hit the jackpot.

Khlora.They all just used me.

Natalia.Soon you will take everything you ever wanted from life and even more!

Khlora.But Ivan loves me.

Natalia.He does, he does. And he will love your baby too.

Khlora.I will help Ivan. I’ll only do it for our baby. Not for the sake of money. But for the sake of our brighter future.

Chopper and Slav enter.

Chopper. [To Natalia.] So?

Natalia.All good.

Chopper. It’s time.

Slav. [To Natalia.] Mind you don’t screw up.

Natalia.Not my first rodeo.

Chopper. [Taking out his phone and making a call.] Frost, the whores are ready.

Late evening. Fyodor Kolosov’s summer cottage. Solar-powered lanterns light up the paths. There is a light in the windows of the first floor covered by curtains. The summer terrace is illuminated by the warm light of a Chinese lantern.

Venya is sitting at the table on the terrace. Khlora is standing next to him with a glass in her hands. There are shish-kebabs, snacks, and bottles with beverages on the table.

Venya.I am so glad you came back to us, Khlora.

Khlora.Pour me some more wine.

Venya. [Pouring himself and Khlora more wine.] I already got pretty pickled though.

Khlora.Your friend has a beautiful house.

Venya.Fyodor always had a good taste in everything. You should see his beer mug collection!

Khlora.Are you married?

Venya.I’m playing the field.

Khlora.Do you make a lot of money?

Venya.It’s never too much money. All I want is to retire as soon as possible and go on a round-the-world trip.

Khlora.So you are a romantic.

Venya.A while back a desire sparked inside of me. And I am willing to change my life dramatically for the sake of it.

Khlora snuggles up to Venya.

Venya.Fyodor spared me a room on the second floor, shall we?

Venya takes the bottle of wine and glasses and goes to the house together with Khlora. Fyodor comes out of the house with a bath cap on his head and a towel on his shoulder.

Fyodor.You sure you don’t want to go?

Khlora.We’ll do that some other time.

Venya.I had enough bathing for today.

Fyodor.Well, it’s up to you.

Venya. [To Khlora.] These jokers doused me with the well water. I’ve still got a rasped throat.

Fyodor.Cold training never hurt nobody, Venya. Bless you!

Venya and Khlora go inside. A few minutes later, the light shines through a window of the second floor. Fyodor sits down at the table in the gazebo, pours beer into a big jug, and drinks it with relish. Alexey and Natalia are walking along the path from the direction of the banya. They are fresh-faced and wear bathrobes. Fyodor notices them, takes two mugs, and fills them with beer.

Fyodor.I hope you enjoyed your bath!

Alexey.Thanks, mate.

Natalia.Your banya is wonderful.

Alexey.I adore women who are fond of taking a steam-bath.

Natalia.And I respect men who adore women.

Fyodor.Let’s drink to friendship and understanding!

The three of them clink their mugs and drink beer.

Alexey.It’s so nice here!

Fyodor.So nice here, so nice here, go and grab another beer.

Alexey.I threw some more wood in the stove. The temperature there is just as you like it, Fyodor.