Квентин Тарантино: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The First Novel By Quentin Tarantino

The two remaining television actors continue to talk and drink and do what actors of their time usually do. Compare notes. Usually about directors and actors they both worked with. It turns out Stacy knows Tommy Laughlin too, from acting in Tommy’s first film as a director, The Young Sinner . Stacy worked with the director of Tanner , Jerry Hopper, on a Have Gun—Will Travel . And both men worked with Vic Morrow. Vic did a Bounty Law , and Jim did an episode of Morrow’s show Combat! They also talk about directors they like, which usually means directors who like them and hired them . Rick sings the praises of Paul Wendkos and William Witney, while Stacy champions Robert Butler.

“So how did you get so set up with CBS?” Dalton asks Stacy.

“Well, you know how it is,” Stacy says. “You work for this TV director, you work for that one. Then you work for one who really digs you. Then you become one of his guys . If he does four episodes a year on different shows, he might plug you in one or two, if he can.”

“Yeah, I had that situation with Paul Wendkos and Bill Witney,” Rick adds.

“So my guy who thought I was his guy ,” Stacy says, “was Robert Butler. He plugged me into a few of his shows, and even the shows I didn’t get ’cause they wanted a bigger name—an Andy Prine or a John Saxon—I impressed the casting directors and the producers.” Stacy continues, “So word about me started to spread at CBS, then this big-deal two-part Gunsmoke came up. And they didn’t just give it to me, I had to win it. I had to impress the network executives, the Gunsmoke producers, and the episode director, Dick Sarafian.”

“Dick Sarafian wrote the script of my first lead role in a motion picture,” Rick interjected.

“Really?” Stacy said. “What was it?”

“A hot rod picture for Republic called Drag Race, No Stop . Bill Witney directed it. It had a good cast, Gene Evans, John Ashley, Dick Bakalyan. I beat out Bob Conrad for the lead.” Rick jokes, “Witney didn’t want to dig a hole every day for the other actors to stand in so Bob could look them in the eye.”

They all laugh at the Robert Conrad short joke.

Then Rick asks Stacy about the Gunsmok e episode. “So the network executives were butting into the casting of an episodic?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Stacy explains. “They coulda just gone the big-name route and Chris George gets the role. But they didn’t want a big name. CBS wanted to cast a young actor and use that episode of Gunsmoke to establish him with a western-watching audience and then plug him into his own show next season.”

“Well,” saluting Jim with his empty whiskey sour glass, Rick says, “You’re a lucky goddamn son of a bitch and I hope you appreciate that.”

Jim Stacy bristles a bit. “I wouldn’t say I’m lucky . I’m fortunate. I mean it’s not like I hit town and just fell off a turnip truck. I spent seven years on fuckin’ Ozzie and Harriet saying, Hey Ricky, want a hamburger ?”

Rick clarifies, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn’t say you didn’t deserve it. And I didn’t imply that either. I watched you today, you totally fuckin’ deserve it. I’m just saying—I been you. It was me guesting on a Tales of Wells Fargo that got the town excited about me. And that directly led to Bounty Law . Anyway, my point is—this is a moment for you. And I hope you appreciate the moment better than I did.”

“You didn’t appreciate it then?” Jim asks.

“I did,” Rick assures him. But then jabs him in the shoulder with his empty cocktail glass and says, “But not like I do now.”

After Maynard sets them up with Rick’s fourth whiskey sour and Jim’s fourth brandy Alexander and Cliff’s third beer, they start talking about sexy male actors’ favorite subject, pussy.

Jim wants to know did Rick fuck Virna Lisi, and Rick wants to know did Jim fuck Hayley Mills.

Jim didn’t, or if he did he’s not talking. Rick didn’t, but he tried. Rick tells Jim how he fucked Yvonne De Carlo and Faith Domergue when they guested on Bounty Law . He fucked De Carlo basically because since he was twelve he always wanted to fuck Elizabeth Taylor. And he figured Yvonne De Carlo was about as close as he was gonna ever get.

“Was it hard starting up an affair with Yvonne De Carlo?” Jim asks.

Rick lifts up his empty cocktail glass and says, “About as hard as ordering another whiskey sour.” They all three laugh at Rick’s line and his timing. Jim orders another round, but Cliff passes on a fourth beer. The two actors wait for Maynard to bring them their last round of cocktails.

Rick knows he has to still get home and work on his lines for tomorrow’s shoot. God forbid he doesn’t know his lines backward and forward when he has to play a scene with that little bitch.

She’ll probably know her lines and his lines.

That just means this is his last drink. When he goes to bed tonight, he’s going to remember in the morning going to bed .

But before he and his co-star say adiós , Rick says, “Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“You know that Great Escape shit you asked me about?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t enjoy that story as much as everybody else seems to,” Rick confesses. “I mean, if I were Cesare Danova—fair enough. But my situation ain’t his situation.”

“Wait a minute,” says a confused Stacy, “what the hell does Cesare Danova got to do with it and what’s his situation ?”

“Well,” Rick explains, “once upon a time—for two minutes—William Wyler seriously considered casting Cesare Danova as Ben-Hur.”

“Really? Shit, I didn’t know that.”

“You don’t know it because, two minutes later, Wyler came to his senses and cast Charlton Heston,” Rick explains further. “But you can say Cesare Danova was almost Ben-Hur because he almost was. But his situation wasn’t my situation.”

Jim stares at Rick, wondering what he’s getting at.

The actor continues, “Look, I worked real hard on Bounty Law . And if that’s what I’m known for, fair enough. But the thing that seems to interest everybody the most isn’t the show I did. It’s a fucking role I never played. A role I never had a Chinaman’s chance of getting.”

“You were on the list,” Jim offers.

“The list, the fucking list!” Rick says, raising his voice in frustration. Maynard and a few other customers turn in their direction. Jim reaches over and pats Rick’s hand on the bar, and says quietly, “It’s okay, calm down. Take a drink.”

Rick sucks some more whiskey sour out of his straw, as Jim looks at him with big eyes.

“That list ,” Rick repeats in a sarcastic whisper, “that everybody thinks is so impressive is fuckin’ questionable. I mean, I never saw it. But let’s just say there is a list and I’m on it and the three Georges are on it.” Rick asks, “Do you realize how many crazy impossible things would hafta happen for me to get that role?”

Jim states, “I don’t follow.”

“First things first,” Rick begins, “McQueen has gotta do the dumbest thing in his life—turn down The Great Escape and accept The Victors. You know, that thing he didn’t do, because he’s not a fuckin’ idiot.”

Then Rick stops and says, “But for the sake of argument, we’ll say McQueen is a fuckin’ idiot , and he turns down the flashy role in the epic movie written for him by his mentor John Sturges. Does that mean I get Hilts, the Cooler King?” Rick asks Jim.