Brian Lane - Mind Games with a Serial Killer

1 ounce Lemon Juice

1 ounce Malt Vinegar

1 teaspoon Orégano

½ teaspoon Sage

2 ounces Worcestershire Sauce

1 tablespoon Brown Sugar

1 teaspoon Garlic Salt

4 tablespoons Alfalfa Sprouts, finely chopped

½ cup Hickory Smoke Barbeque Sauce

1 tablespoon French’s® Mustard

2 tablespoons Best Foods® Mayonaise

4 tablespoons Country Crock® tub Butter

In a skillet, cook the Onion, Bell Pepper, Mushrooms and Alfalfa Sprouts in the Lemon Juice, Malt Vinegar and Butter over medium heat until the pepper pieces are soft. In a large bowl, knead together the Ground Beef, Bread Crumbs, Orégano, Sage, Worcestershire Sauce, Garlic Salt, 4 ounces of Tomato Sauce, ¼ cup Barbeque Sauce, Egg Whites, and 1 teaspoon of Corn Starch. Fold in the cooked vegetables, making sure the ingredients are well dispersed throughout the meat. Form the meat into a loaf and place into a standard, non-stick loaf pan. Form a cover over the loaf pan with aluminum foil and cook for 55 minutes in an oven preheated to 350°.

Sauce Topping: In a saucepan, combine the remaining Tomato Sauce, Barbeque Sauce and Corn Starch with the Mustard, Brown Sugar and Mayonaise. Simmer on low for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. When meatloaf has finished cooking, remove the foil and pour the sauce evenly over the loaf and replace in oven for five minutes, uncovered. Allow to cool slightly before serving. Salt and pepper to taste. May sprinkle Parmesan Cheese over each serving and garnish with sprigs of Parsley. (Note: Listed vegetables can be interchanged with other vegetables, as preferred.)

This is another meatless dish I used to make for my vegetarian friends. It’s even good for people who are watching their weight. Except for the butter, cheese, and the barbeque sauce, this pizza is low in the fatty solids and cholesterol. The topings can be interchanged to suit your own tastes. The crust dough is easy to make, a slight variation of a breadloaf recipe I had. One word of warning, however; unless you have the experience, I don’t recommend that you spin the pizza dough over your head. You could have disastrous results like I did. Especially if you have a low ceiling like I had.

Crust Dough

3¼ cups sifted Flour, plus extra for dusting

2 tablespoons Rapid Rising Yeast

1 tablespoon Log Cabin® Light Syrup

1½ cups Warm Water

2 tablespoons Country Crock® tub Butter, melted

¾ tablespoon Salt

Sauce

16 ounces Tomato Purée

2 tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce

2 tablespoons Hickory Smoke Barbeque Sauce

2 tablespoons Barbeque Seasoning

2 tablespoons Orégano

2 teaspoons Garlic Salt

1 teaspoon Sweet Basil

2 Bay Leaves, halved

Toppings

16 ounces Mozzarella Cheese, shredded (more if desired)

4 ounces fresh Bell Peppers (Red or Green), chopped

4 ounces Black Olives, pitted and sliced

4 ounces Cherry Tomato, chopped with seeds removed

4 ounces fresh Mushrooms, thinly sliced

4 ounces Onion, finely chopped

Sauce: In a large saucepan, add together the Tomato Purée, Worcestershire Sauce, Barbeque Sauce, Barbeque Seasoning, Orégano, Garlic Salt, Basil, Bay Leaves and 1 teaspoon of Butter. Simmer over low-medium heat, stirring often, until ready to use (at least 30 minutes). If sauce begins to boil, reduce heat to low and continue to stir.

Pizza Dough: Combine 2½ cups of Flour with Yeast, Salt, Water, Syrup and 1 tablespoon of Butter. When those ingredients are thoroughly combined, fold in remaining flour until last of flour must be kneaded into dough. Dough should have a thick, smooth texture when done. Cover dough and let sit for 25 minutes. Lightly dust flour over work surface and place ¼ of the dough on it. Flatten dough with hands, dust dough with flour and then flatten the dough further with a rolling pin until large enough to fit a 12-inch, non-stick pizza pan. Place dough on pan and dimple with fingers. Repeat instructions with second half of dough for second pizza.

Topping the Pizza: Brush remaining Butter over top of pizza dough. Spread sauce liberally over dough, leaving about a ½-inch border around pizza. Spread cheese atop the sauce, followed by sliced and chopped toppings over the layer of cheese. If desired, add more cheese over toppings for a final topping for the pizza. Bake at 400° for 15 or 20 minutes, or until crust is a crispy, golden brown. Serve hot, garnished with grated Parmesan Cheese, Salt and Pepper to taste.

I used to buy Stouffer’s® Stuffed Bell Peppers so much that my grocery bill was almost as large as a week’s paycheck. I had to either cut down on eating one of my favorite foods or learn to cook it from scratch. Since I had ideas for adding more ingredients, the choice was simple. I usually only cooked these for myself, so I didn’t figure the recipe for a large amount. This recipe only needs to have the quantities multiplied by the number of people eating and you’ll have a nearly complete meal in this one by itself.

2 fresh Green or Red Bell Peppers

1 cup cooked Rice

I cup cooked Ground Beef

I cup Tomato Sauce

¼ cup Barbeque Sauce

2 fresh Mushrooms, diced

1 small Stewing Onion, diced

1 tablespoon Hickory Smoke Powder

2 teaspoons Garlic Salt

1 tablespoon Steak Seasoning

1 tablespoon Chili Powder

½ cup shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese

¼ cup Green Olives w/Pimentos, diced

1 Bay Leaf

Cut the top off the Bell Peppers and scrape out the shell, discard top and seeds. Cook the rice as directed on the package. In a large skillet, cook the Ground Beef, pour off and discard the grease. To the skillet, add the Mushrooms, Onions, Olives, Barbeque Sauce, Tomato Sauce, Bay Leaf and the seasonings. Cook over medium heat, stirring often until bubbles appear, then reduce heat to low, cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Place Bell Pepper shells into a casserole dish. Stir Rice into Ground Beef mixture, remove from heat and spoon mixture into shells. Pour remaining mixture and sauce around the shells. Cover and cook in oven preheated to 350° for 50 minutes. Then remove cover and spoon juices over Pepper shells and meat filling. Return to oven and cook an additional 5 minutes, uncovered. Serve two stuffed peppers per person with cheese sprinkled over top. Discard Bay Leaf. Salt and Pepper to taste.

Plumage, manes, and bright orange butts. The males of the “lower” species get all the cool garb. While every male would jump every female, given the chance, the females try to be selective and the males vie amongst themselves to see who will be top dog. Generally there are more males than females, and so survival of the fittest is always also survival of the prettiest. The king of the jungle always looks like the king and never like the jester.

However, once you “rise” to the human race, females outnumber the males. Suddenly, female looks matter, or at least the females think so. The truth is that when push comes to shove, every male would still jump every female, given the chance, but one-night stands and approaching from behind don’t do much for evolution. For real propagation and nurturing, particularly bearing in mind the long odds of human impregnation and the very long period of human gestation, the female’s got to look good enough to come home to even when morning sickness lasts well into the night.