Brian Lane - Mind Games with a Serial Killer

I’ve always liked Baked Potatoes, but could only get them the way I liked them when I fixed them myself. I came up with this method of making them because the toppings always ran out before I was done with the potato. I turned them into “Boats” to entertain a friend’s youngest daughters. They like “Boats” a lot better than baked potatoes. The main point is that all four girls and their mother ate all of their ’Tater Boats!

4 large White Potatoes

2 tablespoons Country Crock® tub Butter

4 large fresh Mushrooms, diced

2 tablespoons Sweet Pickle Relish, drained

2 tablespoons Best Foods® Mayonaise

¾ cup Sharp Cheddar Cheese, shredded

½ tablespoon Onion Powder

1 teaspoon Garlic Salt

Sour Cream, to taste

Paprika, to taste

8 Parsley Sprigs

Additional Toppings, per personal choice

Wrap each potato and one teaspoon Butter in aluminum foil, then bake them in an oven preheated to 350° for thirty minutes. Remove potatoes from their wrapping and slice in half, lengthwise. Scoop out most of the meat of the potato, being sure not to break through the skin. In a large bowl, mix the potato with the mushroom pieces, cheddar cheese, onion powder, garlic salt, mayonaise, pickle relish and remaining butter, using a mixer set on low. Mix thoroughly to a coarse consistency. Spoon this mixture into the potato shells. Place back into oven, uncovered, for fifteen minutes.

When done, remove from oven and sprinkle paprika over the top of the potato. Spoon a healthy dollop of sour cream atop the center of the potato and a sprig of parsley atop that. Add any desired additional toppings. Serve hot; salt and pepper to taste. Usually serves two per person.

A young lady already mentioned in these pages swore that her momma’s Boston style Baked Beans were the best ever cooked. I wasn’t about to argue with her, but I had this recipe locked away in my brain from when I worked as a short order cook. I served it only to those of my friends who knew about it. When I served it to this young lady, she said that I had to give the recipe to her momma.

Well, that never happened—so, if she still wants it, here it is.

4 cups Red Beans

4 All Beef Frankfurters, sliced into ¼” lengths

4 slices Bacon, chopped

1 cup Malt Vinegar

¼ cup Brown Sugar

¼ cup Hunts® Catsup

⅛ cup Molasses

¼ cup Hickory Smoke Barbeque Sauce

2 tablespoons Best Foods® Mayonaise

1 tablespoon Garlic Salt

1 tablespoon Orégano

½ tablespoon Country Crock® tub Butter

1 teaspoon Cinnamon

3 Bay Leaves

Place the Red Beans, Malt Vinegar and 2 Bay Leaves in a large pot with enough water to cover the beans. Cook over high heat until it begins to boil, then reduce heat to low, cover and let simmer for 30 minutes. Drain off the liquid and set aside, covered. In a skillet, sear the Bacon and Frankfurter pieces, then add those to the pot of beans. Place the pot over low heat again and stir in the Catsup, Molasses, Barbeque Sauce and Mayonaise. Cover and allow to simmer through the rest of the preparations. In a mixing bowl, blend together the Brown Sugar, Garlic Salt, Orégano, Butter and Cinnamon. When this mixture is thoroughly combined, add it and the remaining Bay Leaf to the pot of beans and stir the mixture until the ingredients are completely intermixed. Cover and let simmer for an additional 20 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Optional topping of Sharp Cheddar Cheese is especially tasty. Serve as side dish to any red or white meat.

This one goes back to the days of youth, when I was working as a short order cook at a fancy restaraunt. A certain lady-love of mine would come in for dinner a few times each week and would have me fix this dish for her. I didn’t know that the restaurant manager was watching me on these nights. I didn’t get in trouble or anything, but she did appropriate my recipe and began offering it on the menu. Eventually, I quit working at that restaurant and my lady-love began coming over to my place every few days so she could still enjoy this dish. She said that I must be doing something different, because those at the restaraunt just didn’t taste as good. By the way, these are fixed on a barbeque grill for the Out-of-doors, Flame-cooked taste!

4 Ribeye Steaks

8 long Bacon Slices

16 wooden toothpicks, round type

¼ cup Soy Sauce

¼ cup Apple Cider

¼ cup Worcestershire Sauce

½ cup Smirnoff® Vodka, 110 proof

2oz. Lemon Juice

1 tablespoon Brown Sugar

1 tablespoon Garlic Salt

I tablespoon Molasses

1 teaspoon Basil

4 teaspoons Cinnamon

2 whole Bay Leaves

Wrap two strips of bacon tightly around the edge of each steak and pin in place with 4 toothpicks per steak. Set aside until marinating sauce is ready. Combine the Soy Sauce, Worcestershire Sauce, Lemon Juice, Brown Sugar, Garlic Salt, Molasses and Basil in a saucepan and cook on medium until sauce begins to bubble. Reduce heat to low and stir in the Apple Cider and Vodka. Drop in Bay Leaves and allow to simmer 5 minutes, covered, stirring often. Remove from heat and allow to cool, then pour sauce into a wide plastic container with a lid.

Pierce both sides deeply, several times with the tines of a fork. Place bacon-wrapped steaks into a container with marinating sauce. If sauce doesn’t cover the steaks, spoon sauce onto top of meat. Cover and let sit in refrigerator for minimum of four hours (I usually let the steaks marinate overnight). Place steaks on bar-beque grill directly from marinating container. Sprinkle ½ teaspoon Cinnamon on each side of steak and cook to desired degree (rare, medium, well-done, etc.), then remove and serve hot. Salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with a sprig of Parsley.

A ladyfriend and I wanted Chicken for dinner one evening, but we didn’t want it barbequed or fried—and we were tired of Fast-Food. I recalled a dish I used to cook when I was younger. I hadn’t fixed it in many years, but as I began to prepare it, the recipe came flooding back into my mind. The dish practically fixed itself, so my ladyfriend and I busied ourselves with other amusements. When the dish was ready, the meat literally fell off the bones and melted into our mouths!

2 complete Chickens, cut up

16 oz. (one pkg.) wide Egg Noodles

Carrots, thickly sliced

fresh Mushrooms, sliced

2 stewing Onions, chopped

2 Celery Stalks, chopped

2 small Russett Potatoes, cut into small chunks

1 small Bell Pepper, seeded and chopped

1 tablespoon Minced Garlic

2 tablespoons Orégano

1 teaspoon Crushed Thyme

1 teaspoon Sweet Basil

¼ cup fresh Parsley, chopped finely

1 tablespoon Salt

4 cups Water

Paprika, to taste

In a large pot, place the Chicken, Carrots, Mushrooms, Onions, Celery, Potatoes, Bell Peppers, Water and Salt and start cooking on Medium-High heat until water begins to boil. (Depending on size of Chicken, more or less water may be required.) Reduce heat to medium, add in the Garlic, Orégano, Thyme and Basil. Cook for 20 minutes, stirring often. Reduce heat to low, stir in Parsley, cover and simmer for one hour. Drain off enough water from pot to cook the Egg Noodles in and proceed to cook the Noodles according to package instructions. Afterwards, discard that water. Scoop a healthy portion of Noodles onto serving plates. Ladle vegetables on top of Noodles, with Chicken pieces placed on side. Sprinkle Paprika over vegetables and Noodles. Salt and pepper to taste.