Kirshenbaum, Mira - Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

interests and activities, shared

examples of

fun and

intimacy

anger and

communication and

criticism and

disrespect and

fun and

hurt and

incompatible visions of

lack of

safety and

sex and

shared interests and activities and

Intirnate Partners (Scarf)

invisibility

Jung, Carl

Kingma, Daphne Rose

Kory, Robert

leaving

affairs and

books to help with

concrete commitment to

sadness about

sense of permission and

see also divorce; post-relationship options

Lifemates (Bloomfield, Vittese, and Kory)

lifestyle:

differences in

that excludes partner

happiness and

important need and

sex and

liking your partner

critical incident and

daily record of

time trap and

listening, in negotiation

loneliness, fear of

loss, fear of

love

belonging and

concrete expressions of

giving up on

and importance of partner’s satisfaction and security

liking and, see liking your partner

“nasty-stupid-crazy-ugly-stinky factor” and

needs and

power vs.

preconditions for

putting into perspective

reality and perception of

love (cont.)

respect and

self-love and

shared interests and activities and

therapists and

unconditional giving of

Love Is a Verb (O’Hanlon and Hudson)

lying

pattern of, vs. one big lie

Memories, Dreams, Reflections (Jung)

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (Gray)

mutual shutdown

reversal of

touching and

“nasty-stupid-crazy-ugly-stinky factor”

needs

fighting and

important

negotiating and, see negotiation

unilateral moves and

see also power

negotiation

agreement consequences and

broken agreements and

fear of being attacked and

fear of conflict and

fear of losing and

listening and

as ordeal

politeness and

niceness, of partner

“off the-table-itis”

discussing already-decided issues and

examples of

feedback and

refusal to acknowledge problems as

sexual issues and

O’Hanlon, Bill

orgasm

Our Turn: The Good News About Women and Divorce (Hayes, Anderson, and Blau)

overweight

paranoia

partner’s problems

agreeing about specific change

asking for change

ignoring of

importance of

partner’s ability to change

partner’s acknowledgment of

partner’s demonstration of willingness to change

partner’s motivation to change

partner’s willingness to change

therapy and

waiting trap and

personality disorders

physical abuse

ultimatum and

physical affection, see sex and physical affection

physical attraction

pleasure in shared activities

politeness

post-relationship options

balance-scale approach and

children and

hopes and fears about

obtaining new information about

tunnel vision and

power

balance of

caring as element of

circumstances that contribute to

“difference” problems and

fairness test and

hidden

humiliation and

invisibility and

learning of

love vs.

power moves and

power people and

shame and

talent for

see also needs

psychiatric problems

psychological damage

rage

relationship:

ambivalence about, see ambivalence, relationship

basic discord in

books to help with

constant evaluation of

desire to be in, in absence of problems

leaving of, see leaving

mutual shutdown in, see mutual shutdown

as refuge

remembering best times of

satisfaction-producing core in

signs of life in

staying in

surface vs. foundation of

working on

see also specific issues

respect

delivery of

love and

for partner

and partner’s importance in your life

sources of

see also disrespect

safety

bottom lines and

see also intimacy

sanity, of partner

Scarf, Maggie

self-awareness

self-esteem:

physical abuse and

respect and

selfishness see also power

self-love

self-trust

sex and physical affection

differences and

frequency of lovemaking

general sexuality and

guidelines and

lifestyle and

orgasm and

person-specific sexuality and

physical attraction and