Kirshenbaum, Mira - Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

boredom

bossiness, see power

bottom lines

discovery of

failure to acknowledge and act on violations of

following through on

“if this happens again” speech and

self-deception and

telling partner about

boundaries see also bottom lines

children

divorce and

closeness, see intimacy

Coming Apart (Kingma)

communication

alien

anger expression in

boundaries and

crazy

“difference” problems and

feedback in

lying in

nakedness and safety in

negotiation and; see also negotiation

“off-the-table-itis” in, see “off-the-table-itis”

regenerative property of

Conceptions of Modern Psychiatry (Sullivan)

control, see power

couples therapy

craziness

in communication

criticism:

intimacy and

in negotiation

respect and

denial

depression

diagnostic questions

on anger and criticism

on bottom lines

on desire to be in relationship in absence of problems

on differences

on disrespect

on forgiveness

on fun

on hurt and betrayal

on ignoring partner’s problems

on important need

on intimacy

on life choice that excludes partner

on lifestyle

on liking your partner

on lying

on “nasty-stupid-crazy-ugly-stinky factor”

on negotiation

on “off-the-table-itis”

on partner’s ability to change

on partner’s acknowledgment of problems

on partner’s importance in your life

on partner’s support and interest

on partner’s willingness to change

on permission to end relationship

on physical violence

on post-relationship options

on power

on remembering best times of relationship

on sexual attraction

on shared activities

on shared goals and dreams

on similarity

on touching

on unconditional love see also guidelines

differences

alienness and

basic similarity and

communication problems and

examples of

about intimacy

about lifestyle

negotiation problems and

power problems and

resolvable or ignorable

sexual

therapist’s perspective on

unbridgeable

disrespect

atmosphere of

avoiding partner because of

coping with

love and

normal

pollution image and

self-image damage from

sources of

see also respect

distance

touching and see also intimacy; mutual shutdown.

divorce

children and

differences and see also leaving

Divorce Busting (Weiner-Davis)

domineering behavior, see power

dreams, life, see goals and dreams

fantasies, violent

feedback

disrespect and

feelings, sequence of reality and perception in

fighting

holding on to anger after

pointless see also negotiation

forgiveness

ingredients for

freedom, bottom lines and

friends, advice of

Fromm, Erich

fun

Gestalt Prayer

goals and dreams:

examples of

meeting needs and

shared

Good Divorce, The (Ahrons)

Gray, John

guidelines

on anger and criticism

on best times of relationship

on bottom lines

on concrete expressions of love

on desire to be in relationship in absence of problems

on differences

on disrespect

on forgiveness

on fun

on hurt and betrayal

on ignoring partner’s problems

on important need

on intimacy

on life choice that excludes partner

on lifestyle

on liking your partner

on lying

mutual shutdown and

on “nasty-stupid-crazy-ugly-stinky factor”

on negotiation

on “off-the-table-itis”

on partner’s ability to change

on partner’s acknowledgment of problems

on partner’s importance in your life

on partner’s support and interest

on partner’s willingness to change

on permission to end relationship

on physical abuse

pollution image and

positive vs. negative, importance of

on post-relationship options

on power

on sexual attraction

sexual issues and

on shared activities

on shared goals and dreams

on similarity

on touching see also diagnostic questions

Hayes, Christophe

Hudson, Pat

humiliation

hurts and betrayals

affairs, see affairs

broken agreements

damage and healing after

examples of

forgiveness and

intimacy and

mutual shutdown and

in refusal to acknowledge problems

time and

touching and

intelligence, of partner